Having reasonable expectations is crucial for healthy relationships, especially in marriage. Unrealistic expectations can lead to constant disappointment...
Having reasonable expectations is crucial for healthy relationships, especially in marriage. Unrealistic expectations can lead to constant disappointment. To prevent yourself from getting disappointed, it's essential that you avoid unrealistic expectations in marriage. Believing your partner won't change or that your sex life will be perfect are common unrealistic expectations.
Marriage counselors can help you see your partner's positive qualities and setting realistic expectations can help you stay on the same page. Understanding that you won't always share the same interests is key to long-term relationships. Let's take a closer look at each and learn how managing relationship expectations can avoid feeling disappointed and build a healthy relationship.
The partner you fell in love with is the partner you hope to spend the rest of your life with. However, this is one of the unrealistic expectations in marriage because of the low chance of humans sticking to the same pattern of thoughts for decades. Instead of getting disappointed that their behavior and thought patterns have changed, try to understand them and the reason for the change. They may be spending less time with you because of school or additional responsibilities at work. If you consider the reasons for their change, it will help you easily adjust to the situation.
Also, you should try to accept your emotions and calm yourself down. You may be legitimately offended, but it won't help the situation if you have an outburst. You should try to accept your partner's change, especially when it happens because of some progress in their life. When you are able to consider your feelings and your partner's together concerning every moment of change, you will be able to adjust easily to the change.
From pornography to personal fantasies to overblown stories from other people, you may develop unrealistic expectations in marriage concerning sex. And when these expectations meet reality, you may experience disappointment due to the difference. You may believe that marital sex will be like porn, where the actors are shown to enjoy sex actively and have the flexibility to try various styles in one sex scene. However, porn actors are simply actors acting out their scripts for a living. They don't represent the reality of sexual intercourse and shouldn't be made a focal point.
Also, you may believe that your partner will automatically know how to satisfy you sexually without any prompt or time. But this isn't how things work since they weren't born with a manual for pleasuring you. Thus, your partner will need to spend some time with your body to discover what will satisfy you. If you also believe that things will continue to be regular in your sex life because your partner doesn't have any fetish, you may be wrong. It's normal for people to have different fetishes, and your partner may simply hide them from you because they fear being judged by you.
Spending a lifetime together partaking in every activity may be something you expect from your marriage. But when you consider that you and your partner will most likely have different interests, your wish will easily become one of the unrealistic expectations in marriage. Instead of constantly pushing to spend time together, you should get used to spending time apart chasing your different interests. You can even actively push for time apart to spend time with other people, gain positivity from them, and bring it back into the relationship.
You can find a group that shares your values stronger than your partner does. For example, if you are interested in CrossFit and your spouse isn't a fitness junkie, it's better to join a CrossFit community so you may enjoy your time with them. As you are spending time apart, be sure to also push your partner to do something they like that you aren't so interested in. And make sure that both of you come home at the end of the day to disclose the day's events and bask in your company.
At the onset of marriage, you may expect that your spouse will be able to pinpoint your thoughts and understand your desires without verbal communication from you.
But as time goes on, you'll realize that it's one of the unrealistic expectations in marriage.
They won't be able to read your mind or get your emotional cues every time since they don't have telepathy.
Hence, it's your duty to let them know what you want from them.
Understandably, this may open you up to vulnerability, but if you consider your marriage above your feelings, it should be easy for you to do.
If you have told your partner what you need, but they are still not working on it, you may need to talk to them about it and how it may make you feel disrespected in the relationship.
Your conversation should revolve around the pain you felt from them ignoring your requests and the joy you will feel if they fulfill them.
And if they tell you they can't fulfill the requests due to some reasonable reasons, you should accept those reasons.
It's essential that you understand that their "No" is "No," and you shouldn't force them to do what you want.
A person that can satisfy all that another person wants doesn't exist.
When a person has to help another constantly, they will have no time to satisfy their personal emotional needs, leading to building resentment.
Hence, one of the unrealistic expectations in marriage is your partner being the one who does everything for you.
Instead of constantly expecting your partner to fulfill all your needs, you should try to get out of your sphere of dependence.
Try to be a self-sufficient adult and cover some of your needs yourself.
Also, you can push off the satisfaction of some of your emotional needs to your friends and family. Your spouse won't be constantly available to make you happy due to their issues; hence, you should keep relationships that will help you get through some difficult times. And when you help your partner satisfy their needs, don't make it a compulsion to always do so.
Although it's amazing to help them feel good and happy, don't do so to a detriment to yourself.
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Overcomers Counseling is here to help you navigate such expectations in marriage. If you feel disappointed due to high expectations or personal experiences, give us a call. We understand that having enough money or finding solutions to conflicts can be challenging. Whether it's a desire or expectation that isn't met all the time, it can hurt. Differences between partners are expected, but respect and responsibility matter. Don't assume everything will happen as planned when you're married. Whether you're a husband or wife, we're here to help you find harmony in your relationship.
As delightful as a relationship can be, having unrealistic expectations in marriage can cause problems because you will be expecting more than your partner can deliver.The most likely unrealistic expectations you will need to snuff out are your beliefs that your partner won't change, the sex life will be perfect, you will participate in activities together, your partner can read your mind, and they can do everything for you.
https://blogs.webmd.com/relationships/20180516/what-to-do-when-your-partner-changes
https://georgiastatesignal.com/unrealistic-sexpectations/
https://www.marthastewart.com/7904868/things-partners-should-do-separately
https://grouptherapyassociates.com/your-partner-cannot-read-your-mind/
https://www.verywellmind.com/emotional-needs-not-filled-marriage-partner-2303305
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
It can be challenging when one partner is hesitant about therapy. It can help to have open discussions about the potential benefits of therapy and to reassure them that it's a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
Handling conflicts effectively involves:
Yes, like any relationship, interdependent ones can face challenges such as power imbalances, external pressures, and conflicts. Addressing these challenges requires open communication, empathy, willingness to compromise, and sometimes seeking external guidance to navigate through difficulties.
This is something that you'll need to discuss with your counselor. In some cases, weekly sessions may be appropriate. In other cases, you may only need to meet every other week or once a month.
Yes, Tricare does cover telehealth services, including mental health counseling sessions conducted over a secure video conference.
For more detailed information, you can visit the official Tricare website or contact a Tricare representative. You can also seek our resources at the defense health agency.
