At its heart, a marriage is "give and take," with both partners making each other feel loved and receiving love in return. However, if a marriage devolves...
At its heart, a marriage is "give and take," with both partners making each other feel loved and receiving love in return.
However, if a marriage devolves into a one-sided relationship, it may not be readily visible to a partner who really loves their better half unless they are aware of the signs.
One of such signs that you are pulling the weight of the relationship is not being prioritized by your partner.
A partner that prioritizes you will invest most of their energy into engaging in different activities with you.
But if they are lacking in this department, that's a sign that they are not as committed as you.
Similarly, if you are the one putting most of the effort into making the marriage stable, you are likely in a one-sided relationship.
Suppose you are with a partner that rarely initiates activities to make the marriage fun or develop special rituals for a strengthened emotional connection.
Their inability to make these efforts is a sign of their lower sense of commitment.
Another way to tell if your partner isn't performing their spousal duty to reciprocate love is a lingering sense of fulfillment in the marriage.
If you spend time with your partner and instead of feeling happy and motivated afterward, you are feeling dejected; it may mean that they are not putting a lot of effort into satisfying your emotional needs.
You can read on to know the signs of a one-sided relationship and how to address them:
When you are not your partner's priority, it becomes relatively easy to see that you are in a one-sided relationship.
It may hurt to realize that you aren't their priority, but you have to discover if that's the truth in your relationship so you can address it.
If your spouse is making decisions without involving you, there's a significant chance that they don't consider you a priority anymore.
When they make solo decisions about a job switch, a new substantial investment portfolio, or a new hobby that takes up a lot of their time, that is a strong indicator that they don't prioritize your thoughts anymore.
Also, if you notice that they don't have time for you in their schedule, it may be because they no longer prioritize you.
When a partner that used to spend quality time with you before changes and spends more time with friends and other interests, it's evident that you have dropped in their order of priority.
Once you notice that this situation is going on in your marriage, be ready to take action to get the best out of your marriage.
Make sure you consider their actions well so you don't make errors in judgment.
Then you should confront them calmly and make them see how you have been hurt while suggesting how things can be better.
A marriage where one partner puts in most of the effort to make the marriage a blissful one is generally considered a one-sided relationship. If you notice that your partner always blames you for bad things in the marriage instead of making an effort to be introspective to see their guilt, that could be a sign that you are the one putting most of the effort into the relationship.
Equally, if you go all out for your partner's birthday, marriage anniversary, or other celebratory event and your partner never takes the initiative to plan your birthday or other events, it means they are not making any effort to make the marriage blissful.
After discovering this fact, it's essential that you sit them down and have a long, meaningful conversation with them.
Tell them how unhealthy it is to live in a marriage without the reciprocity of love.
This will let them realize that their behavior is enough ground for you to leave.
A one-sided relationship can cause you to have a constant sense of unfulfillment because your partner's inability to reciprocate your efforts constantly worries you and gives you no hope of better days. Primarily, the unfulfillment comes from a place of unmet expectations.
When you were going into the marriage, you likely had your fantasies about your spouse's emotional and physical attention, but now they have failed to deliver.
It becomes more saddening when you realize that subtly asking them to make efforts for you to be happy equates to begging for their love and attention.
Thus, the sense of unfulfillment will continue to grow.
However, you can address this by looking inward and analyzing your unmet expectations to verify if they are realistic.
Prune the unrealistic ones and talk to your partner about the unmet, realistic expectations causing you to feel unfulfilled.
Engaging in a blame-less conversation will show them that you only want love, making them change.
If you notice that you have been making endless excuses for your partner's behavior in the marriage, that may signify a one-sided relationship. The endless excuses may include you saying they are going through a tough time, hence why they can't communicate with you, or their friends follow particular interests you don't engage in, thus why they hang out more with their friends than with you.
It's absolutely normal to make reasonable excuses for your partner when they do something you don't like, but when such instances become regular, it may be a sign that you should do something about it.
To address this issue, you have to make a conscious effort to review their actions thoroughly and think of how they could have dealt with their problems while still creating time for your happiness.
Afterward, talk to them about it and let them know that excuses can not replace displays of love.
An imbalance in the financial contribution of partners to a marriage can understandably cause resentment.
For example, if a partner contributes 90% of the household income while the other contributes 10%, this can lead to resentment, especially when they never planned to have it that way.
Suppose your financial plan was for you and your partner to contribute equally to the income.
It becomes a one-sided relationship when they have consistently contributed only a little while you handled the more significant part.
The matter becomes more worrisome when their inability to contribute equally is due to their lack of effort to find a well-paying job or their desire to live off you.
Once you identify this sign in your marriage, you can address it by initiating a conversation about it, sharing the house's financial needs, creating a budget, detailing how much you should contribute, and planning with your partner to get them a good job.
Going from a blissful marriage to a one-sided relationship can creep up on you if you don't know the signs.
But if you know the signs, you can address them and ensure that the relationship is put back on the blissful track where you and your partner equally made efforts to strengthen the emotional bond.
The warning signs you should look out for include you not being their priority, putting in the most effort, having a sense of unfulfillment, making endless excuses for them, and contributing a large part of the finances.
https://hackspirit.com/signs-youre-not-priority-your-husbands-life/
https://www.lifeingraceblog.com/2019/07/5-reasons-youre-not-fulfilled-in-your-marriage/
https://hackspirit.com/one-sided-relationship/
https://www.moneycrashers.com/how-to-handle-income-inequality-in-marriage/
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
No, couples counseling can be beneficial for couples at any stage of their relationship and with varying levels of difficulties. Even couples who have a strong foundation can benefit from counseling to enhance communication, deepen emotional connection, or navigate life transitions. Seeking professional guidance early on can prevent minor issues from escalating into more significant problems.
Yes, Tricare only covers marriage counseling when diagnosed with mental health conditions. Marriage counseling services sought for general relationship issues not tied to a recognized mental health disorder will not be covered.
During an EFT session, couples can expect to explore their emotional experiences, attachment needs, and interaction patterns. The therapist will guide them through exercises and conversations aimed at fostering secure emotional bonds and resolving conflicts.
Yes! Communicating openly and honestly with your partner can help you gain perspective and understanding about any concerns or worries you may have. It can also help build trust and strengthen your bond as a couple.
Some practical strategies for managing relationship anxiety include practicing self-compassion and self-care, setting healthy boundaries, getting enough sleep, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
There are many resources available to help you deal with a spouse with a drinking problem. You can talk to your doctor, a mental health professional, or an addiction specialist.
