How To Know You are Forcing a Relationship

How To Know You are Forcing a Relationship

A loving relationship is not a one-sided affair. 

It requires commitment, trust, loyalty, and genuine interest to make things work. 

However, if you feel your relationship isn't fulfilling, evaluate your heart to know if you are genuinely in love with each other or if you are forcing a relationship.

It is essential to meet each other halfway in a relationship despite having opposing values. 

If your partner is always unwilling to compromise with you, you need to reassess the relationship. 

Making reasonable compromises with your partner builds a healthy partnership in your relationship; thus, both parties need to be actively involved.

Having peaceful disagreements is healthy and normal in relationships. 

However, if your partner makes no effort to reconcile and is indifferent to your feelings, they don't care enough to fight. 

It can be emotionally draining and painful to deal with such a partner, so it's better to let go.

Similarly, your partner doesn't have to be perfect, but they should feel right for you. 

When you find yourself attracted to your partner only on some days or wishing they were someone else, it's better to let them go.

Consider this article to learn signs you are forcing a relationship that is not for you:

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Margot Bean, LCSW

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Randal Thomas, SWC

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Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

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Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Hailey Gloden, MA, LPC, NCC

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Heather Comensky, LPC

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Kevin Kessell, SWC

Kevin Kessell, SWC

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Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

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Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

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Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

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Unwillingness to Compromise

Healthy compromise is good for the growth of a relationship. 

When you constantly need to change and put yourself in uncomfortable situations for your partners' happiness while they do nothing, you should realize that you are forcing a relationship.

It is normal for you and your partner to have conflicting needs and ideas in the relationship, but it is essential to find a balance. 

The only way to do this is by compromising to reach a mutually agreeable result.

If you constantly succumb to your partner's ideas when they don't do the same, you need to reevaluate your relationship and decide what's best for you.

Similarly, you need to reassess the relationship when your partner continuously places their ego and pride over your happiness and needs. 

If you feel strongly about things and your partner continually invalidates you, you are in an unhealthy relationship and need to let go.

You Never Fully Resolve Conflicts 

Conflicts are inevitable in every relationship. 

In a healthy relationship, both couples practice healthy communication to resolve disputes and progress in the relationship. 

However, if your partner never tries to patch things up with you, it is a sign you are forcing a relationship.

During disputes, your partner might shut you out and engage in other activities. 

They can decide to go hang out with friends, stop texting, or ghost you as long as possible. 

When your partner doesn't reach out to you after an argument, they might have fallen out of love with you.

Another way an uninterested partner acts during arguments is by agreeing with everything you say. 

They are indifferent to your feelings and never honestly talk about theirs, so they would prefer to agree with whatever you say to move past the argument phase.

Similarly, if your partner is always ready to leave the relationship after a simple argument, they are not committed to the relationship. 

An uninterested partner will choose to be right during arguments over the relationship. 

In contrast, a loving partner will try to reconnect with you, discuss feelings, be vulnerable, and patch things together.

You Keep Hoping for Change 

Constantly hoping your partner treats you better and does better in certain situations is a sign that you are forcing a relationship. 

It doesn't take much for someone in love with you to entirely drop any bad or hurtful habits to make the relationship work.

Also, if you think of ways they would have been perfect, they might never be for you. 

Physical attraction should come naturally for people in love. 

If you only find them attractive when they wear a particular haircut or hairstyle and outfit, the relationship might not last. 

Your partner doesn't have to change their looks to be loved by you.

Likewise, you don't have to share your partner's values and beliefs to understand and respect them. 

When you genuinely love your partner, you appreciate your differences and similarities. 

Continually pressuring your partner to change their values for you will end up hurting them and the relationship.

To be in a happy relationship, you must be undeniably attracted to your partner and willing to accept their values, beliefs, and past. 

Your partner should also be willing to let go of bad habits that can hurt your relationship.

A Future Together Does Not Excite You

When the thoughts of starting a family and growing old together don't excite you, your partner is not the one. 

Spending a lifetime with someone you love should be something you look forward to with utmost excitement. 

Feeling otherwise means you are forcing a relationship not meant to be.

Picture a future with your partner and ask yourself some critical questions. 

Do you feel happy, sad, or indifferent? 

Does it feel like the life you want, or it just seems wrong? 

Finding the answers to these questions will help you know whether or not to continue the relationship.

In thinking of the future, you also have to consider the current relationship with your partner. 

If you both tend to constantly disagree on everything and can't accept each other's differences, it can worsen in the future.

Chemistry with someone worth spending the rest of your life with won't feel forced. 

There will be natural chemistry, and you will both tend to share similar values, humor, and intimacy.

They Aren't Your Friend 

Friendship is an excellent start to a strong, lasting relationship. 

Being friends before lovers allow you to connect deeply, bond, and know each other well. 

There's love in friendship, and when that love leads to something bigger, it blossoms more beautifully. 

However, when you're unable to see your lover as your friend, you are forcing a relationship that might not last.

Friendship allows you to discover each other's thought processes and lifestyles without strings attached. 

It is always advisable to start as friends with your partner so that you learn about each other and decide if you are compatible.

Not enjoying unromantic time, joking, laughing, and playing with your partner can mean you lack chemistry. 

Just like friends, your partner should bring out your silliest self and be able to enjoy different emotions with you.

Also, if you have to change who you are or become self-conscious around your partner, the relationship is not meant to be. 

Rather than walking on eggshells, you need to feel comfortable expressing yourself to your partner to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.


Love grows better when it is between two people willing to make it work. 

If you constantly doubt your partner and feel distant from them, you might be forcing something not meant to be.

Signs you are forcing a relationship with your partner include unwillingness to compromise, never fully resolving conflicts, your partner isn't your friend, a future together doesn't excite you, and you keep hoping for change.


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June 18th, 2024

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