What to Do When Your Partner Puts Work Before Marriage

What to Do When Your Partner Puts Work Before Marriage
One of the most common habits associated with being an adult is work.

Almost everyone has to work at some point to earn a living and sustain themselves. 

However, even work should be done reasonably, especially ahead of your marriage.

If you have a partner that puts work before your marriage, you might be married to a workaholic

When your partner puts work before marriage, you should tell them how you feel. 

It is possible your partner is not even aware of putting work before marriage.

You might also want to strive to understand why your partner puts work before marriage. 

Work could be for money or out of passion, or for other reasons. 

Taking a step back to figure out why your partner put work first would allow you to address this challenge.

Another way to manage when your partner puts work ahead of you is to establish a fixed routine. 

Create a period where you and your partner spend quality time without work. 

Avoid any excuse or attempts to break this routine.

Find out in detail what to do when your partner puts work before marriage:

Marriages & Couples Therapists in Colorado

Melvin Lee, LPCC

Melvin Lee, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

(720) 449-4121
Abigail Corless, LPCC

Abigail Corless, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Bali Fitzpatrick, LPCC

Bali Fitzpatrick, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

(719) 345-2424
Leashia Moody-Miller, LPC

Leashia Moody-Miller, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

Tell Them How You Feel

When your partner puts work before marriage, many things may go over their head.

It is possible that your partner is not even aware that they had been putting work over their marriage.

A place to begin might be to communicate to your partner that you feel they put work above them.

Avoid hiding your feeling and be as honest as possible. 

This discussion between you and your partner should be approached with love and care. 

Express your feelings whilst leaving room for them to communicate too.

It is essential to keep your anger under check here and avoid nagging about your partner's habit. 

Rather than using an accusatory tone, use a positive manner to express what your spouse has missed from overworking.

The manner you communicate with your spouse will go a long way in how much they receive the message.

Telling your partner will enable your partner to understand your feelings. 

It might just be what they need to get back on track.

Understand Why They Put Work First 

It is easy and perhaps natural to assume the worst. 

To assume that maybe your partner puts work before your marriage to avoid you. 

However, before jumping to conclusions, try to understand when your partner puts work before marriage.

The easiest way to find out why your partner puts some much effort into work is to ask them simply. 

The answer could allow you to understand what drives your partner so much. 

Your partner might be working so hard to impress you.

Their answer may also allow you to find out the work has nothing to do with you. 

Maybe your partner enjoys their job so much or works out of necessity to pay the bills.

At the very least, you understand the root of the problem.

Unfortunately, sometimes it is necessary for a spouse to work long hours, especially to ensure the family is well-taken care of.

You can remind yourself that your partner is sacrificing for you if that helps deal with the workaholic partner.

Enjoy the Time You Have Together 

Sometimes when your partner puts work before marriage, you have to understand and support your partner. 

This is particular in circumstances where there is a necessity to work long hours.

Here, you could adopt a different strategy of focusing on your time together.

Instead of being unhappy about things you can not change, consider enjoying your time with your partner.

Couples don't need to spend all their time together.

They just have to make the time they have count.

Whenever you have time with your partner, try to make it count.

You could catch up on what was missed. 

Your partner could even become more eager to create time to spend together when it's positive.

The focus here is to make do with the circumstances you have.

This time together may help ease the tension that might be building between you and your partner. 

Your partner may also value your time together more.

Establish a Fixed Routine 

If your partner puts work before marriage, it might be necessary for you to set fixed boundaries that they should comply with.

The fixed routine would be a decent compromise. 

A fixed routine ensures that you and your partner spend time together.

The fixed routine could entail having breakfast together every day or going out on Saturdays. 

You might also have your partner leave their work phone off at a specific time of the day.

The essence of this fixed routine is to schedule time in the mind of your partner that is a non-negotiable couple time.

The routine, together with boundaries, could enable your partner to separate work hours and home.

Sometimes, work can be so overwhelming that it almost goes on for 24 hours every day. 

Routines reset the mind of your partner.

It might be alluring to bend and plan around your spouse's work schedule, but this might simply be encouraging a bad habit.

Marriage requires commitment; don't be afraid to demand commitment from your partner.

Seek Professional Help 

Getting ahead of your partner's work habits may prove difficult even after trying multiple things. 

There may be a point where you have to seek professional help to address your spouse's excessive work.

When your partner puts work before marriage, sometimes it is helpful to get an external party to mediate.

It could only be at this point that your partner even admits to putting work ahead of your marriage.

A marriage counselor or psychologist could be of help in this situation.

A professional may also help where you have become overcome with bitter feelings. 

This may mean both you and your partner may not be communicating effectively. 

If you have observed talking about work leads to bigger conflicts or fighting, it might be time to go to a professional.

It is also possible that your spouse is using work as an excuse to escape something else. 

The problem could go beyond the work itself. 

A professional is well vested in handling complex issues such as this.


Work is a vital part of our everyday life.

However, it could quickly take over your marriage. 

In a situation where your partner comes to value work over the marriage between both of you.

You can choose to tell them how you feel, understand why they put work first, enjoy the time you have together, establish a fixed routine, and seek professional help.


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July 24th, 2024

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