When to Talk to Your Partner About Couples Therapy?

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Introduction


Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, playing a pivotal role in ensuring mutual understanding, respect, and satisfaction between partners.

Amidst the complexities of modern relationships, couples therapy emerges as a valuable tool designed to enhance these communication channels and address underlying issues that may hinder a couple's ability to connect and grow together.

Therapy provides a structured environment for open dialogue, it aims to facilitate meaningful improvements in relationship dynamics, offering strategies and insights to help partners achieve a deeper, more fulfilling connection. 


Marriages & Couples Therapists in Colorado

Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Margot Bean, LCSW

Margot Bean, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Hailey Gloden, MA, LPC, NCC

Hailey Gloden, MA, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424

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Initiating the Conversation


Initiating the conversation about couples therapy with your partner requires a gentle and constructive approach.

Start by choosing a calm and comfortable moment when both of you are likely to be receptive and free from immediate stress or distractions.

Use "I" statements to share your feelings, as this method helps prevent your partner from feeling blamed or defensive.

For example, saying "I feel we could benefit from some guidance to improve our communication" is more effective than suggesting your partner is the reason for seeking therapy.

Listening actively to your partner's responses is equally important. This means fully engaging with what they're saying without planning your next comment while they speak.

Acknowledging their concerns and fears about therapy shows that you respect their feelings and are committed to working together toward a healthier relationship.


  • Choose a quiet, stress-free time to talk
  • Use "I" statements to express your feelings
  • Encourage open and honest dialogue
  • Listen actively to your partner's concerns and fears



When you bring up the idea of couples therapy to your partner, it's not uncommon for them to initially resist or express skepticism.

This reaction can be rooted in a variety of concerns such as fear of judgment, worries about what it implies about the relationship, or simply misunderstanding what therapy involves.

Approach your partner's hesitancy with empathy, acknowledging their feelings and concerns without pushing too hard.

Explaining your perspective calmly and clearly can help. Share why you believe therapy could be beneficial, focusing on its potential to enhance communication and understanding between you both.

Highlighting the positive outcomes that therapy can bring, like improved relationship satisfaction and better conflict resolution skills, can help shift their perspective.

Stress that the intention behind seeking therapy is to strengthen the bond you share and build a healthier, happier future together.


  • Acknowledge their concerns without immediate counterarguments
  • Share personal reasons for considering therapy, focusing on positives
  • Highlight the benefits for the relationship and individual growth


Finding the Right Therapist


Finding the right therapist is a significant part of the process when considering couples therapy.

Start by researching therapists who specialize in couples counseling and have experience dealing with issues similar to yours.

Many therapists offer initial consultations, which can be a great opportunity to ask questions and gauge how well their approach aligns with your needs.

Consider different types of therapy available, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or emotion-focused therapy, and discuss with your partner what might work best for you both.

Scheduling sessions at times that are convenient for both partners can remove unnecessary stress, making it easier to attend sessions regularly.

Budget and insurance are other critical factors; some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, which can make therapy more affordable.

Additionally, verifying whether your insurance plan covers couples therapy can significantly reduce costs.


  • Research specialists in couples counseling
  • Schedule initial consultations to assess compatibility
  • Discuss and decide on the type of therapy that suits you both
  • Consider scheduling, budget, and insurance coverage


Setting Goals for Therapy


Before starting couples therapy, it's beneficial for both partners to clearly express their goals and what they hope to achieve through the process.

This could range from improving communication skills, resolving specific conflicts, or simply understanding each other better.

Have realistic expectations about what therapy can accomplish.

Recognizing that change takes time and effort from both parties can help maintain motivation and patience throughout the therapeutic process.

The success of couples therapy often hinges on the willingness to collaborate and commit to the process together.

Viewing therapy as a joint venture where both partners work together towards common goals can significantly enhance the outcome.

The more engaged and cooperative both partners are, the more fruitful the therapy experience is likely to be.


  • Discuss and agree on specific objectives you both want to achieve
  • Set realistic expectations for the therapy process
  • Commit to actively participating and applying therapy techniques


Making the Most of Therapy


Being open to discussing difficult topics and exploring emotions can be challenging, but it's essential for growth and understanding.

Outside of therapy sessions, applying the insights and techniques learned is crucial.

Whether it's a communication strategy or a way to manage conflicts, practicing these skills in your daily life together strengthens your relationship and helps embed these positive changes.

Regularly taking stock of the progress you're making towards your goals can also be beneficial.

It allows you and your partner to see how far you've come and where you might need to adjust your efforts.

Remember, the goals you set at the beginning of therapy might evolve as you progress, and that's okay.

It's part of the dynamic process of growth and change within your relationship.

Celebrating small victories along the way can motivate both partners to continue working hard and valuing the therapy process.


  • Be fully engaged and open during sessions
  • Apply what you learn in therapy to your daily interactions
  • Regularly review and adjust your therapy goals as needed


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Conclusion


Couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their relationship by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and deepening their understanding of each other.

When approached with an open mind and a willingness to work together, therapy can foster significant growth and positive change within a relationship.

It encourages both partners to actively participate in the healing process, building a stronger bond through shared effort and commitment. 


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May 18th, 2024

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