How to Tell Your Spouse They Drink Too Much

Addressing a spouse's excessive drinking can be challenging, yet it's essential for their well-being. If you're concerned about alcohol addiction...

Marriage
May 23, 2025

Addressing a spouse's excessive drinking can be challenging, yet it's essential for their well-being. If you're concerned about alcohol addiction, whether it's "my husband drinks too much" or "my wife drinks too much," it's time to initiate an honest dialogue.

Recognizing that alcohol use disorder and alcohol misuse can escalate over time highlights the urgency of addressing the issue. Partner's drinking habits can impact the entire family, making it vital to explore available addiction treatment options.

Consider engaging with resources like the Mental Health Services Administration can offer guidance.

You can also consider addiction counseling, couples therapy, or family therapy.

Here are some tips to help you talk to your spouse about their drinking alcohol and encourage them to stop drinking before it's too late.

Communication Strategies

Strategy

Description

Choose the Right Time and PlaceInitiate the conversation with your partner when both are calm, away from stress or activities that involve drinking. Ensure the setting is private and free from other family members.

Express Concerns with Empathy

Use positive language to express your worries about substance abuse. Mention how your husband's drinking or wife's drinking impacts your own health and the well-being of other family members.

Be Honest and Direct

Clearly describe specific instances of binge drinking or alcohol use disorders. Highlight the importance of quitting drinking for the health of the alcoholic spouse and the family.

Listen Actively

Encourage open dialogue by allowing your alcoholic husband or wife to share their feelings. Listen to their perspective on substance use disorders without interrupting.

Avoid Blame and Judgment

Focus on healthy boundaries, avoiding blame for their alcohol use disorder. Offer encouragement and stress that you are addressing the issue of drug abuse together.

Offer Support and Solutions

Seek support for your family member by exploring treatment options. Suggest professional help or support groups to help them quit drinking and improve their health.

Follow Up and Stay Engaged

Continue the conversation with your partner regularly. Remain supportive and involved as they work on quitting drinking, ensuring a positive and encouraging environment.

The Signs That Your Spouse has a Drinking Problem

If you're unsure whether your spouse has a drinking problem, there are a few key signs to look for.

First, consider how much your spouse drinks.

  • Are they drinking more than they used to?
  • Are they drinking every day?
  • Do they need to drink to feel relaxed or happy?

Next, take note of how your spouse acts when they're drinking.

  • Are they more aggressive or argumentative?
  • Do they have trouble controlling their emotions?
  • Have they been blackout drunk or done things they can't remember?

Lastly, pay attention to the effect that drinking has on your spouse's life.

  • Have they been neglecting their work or family responsibilities?
  • Have they lost interest in hobbies or activities they used to enjoy?

If you're seeing any of these red flags, it's important to talk to your spouse about their drinking. They may be struggling with alcoholism and need help getting treatment.

a neon sign that says bar

How Alcohol Can Affect Your Relationship

If your spouse has a drinking problem, it will undoubtedly have a negative impact on your relationship. It's important to understand how alcohol can affect your partner's behavior and your own emotional state. Heavy drinking can lead to changes in personality, anxiety, and depression. It can also lead to financial problems, job loss, and legal issues.

It can lead to risky behaviors like driving drunk. If you're married to someone with a drinking problem, you may find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, feeling like you have to tread carefully to avoid triggering a possible outburst. You may feel like you're always cleaning up the messes caused by your spouse's drinking.

If this sounds familiar, it's important to get help. There are resources available to assist you in dealing with a spouse with a drinking problem. Don't suffer in silence - reach out for help today.

What You Can Do to Help Your Spouse Get Treatment

If you're worried that your spouse is drinking too much, it's important to take action. Left untreated, alcohol abuse can lead to a variety of health problems, including liver damage, heart disease, and cancer.It can also result in accidents, violence, and financial ruin.Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your spouse get treatment.The first step is to talk to your spouse about your concerns.

If they're open to talking, try to express your worries in a non-judgmental way. You might say something like,

  • "I've noticed that you've been drinking more lately and I'm worried about you"
  • "I'm worried about your health"
  • "I'm worried that you're going to get hurt"
  • "I'm worried that your drinking is going to ruin our relationship"

If your spouse is resistant to treatment, you might need to get help from a professional. An interventionist can work with you and your family to plan a confrontation that will encourage your spouse to seek help.Treatment for alcohol abuse often includes counseling, support groups, and medication.With the right help, your spouse can recover from alcoholism and go on to lead a healthy and happy life.

a hand holding a drink

How to Cope with the Situation Until They Get Help

Many people find themselves in the position of having to tell their spouse that they drink too much.This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to remember that you are not alone.

  • Talk to your spouse about your concerns in a non-judgmental way.
  • Encourage them to seek professional help.
  • Don't enable their drinking behavior by covering for them or making excuses.
  • Make sure you take care of yourself emotionally and physically.

If you are facing this situation, remember that you are not alone and there is help available. With the right support, you can get through this.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you need professional help contact a therapist, counselor, or interventionist in your area. They can give you the tools and resources you need to deal with this situation.You can also find support groups in your area that can help you cope with having a spouse with a drinking problem.Reach out for help today so you can get the support you need.

Disclaimer

The content in the blog post is meant for informational purposes only. This blog post should not be used as a substitute for official medical advice from a licensed therapist, counselor, or other professional.

Conclusion

If you are worried that your spouse is drinking too much, it's important to take action.Left untreated, alcohol abuse can lead to a variety of health problems.With the right help, your spouse can recover from alcoholism and go on to lead a healthy and happy life.In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself emotionally and physically.If you need professional help, there are many resources available. Reach out for help today so you can get the support you need.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

How long does marriage counseling take?

Again, this will depend on the specific goals and needs of the couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may need more.

How can I tell if my relationship is emotionally healthy?

There are a few key indicators that can help you to tell if your relationship is emotionally healthy. First, do you and your partner feel safe communicating with each other? Do you feel like you can express your emotions freely, without judgment or criticism? Are there mutual respect's needs and boundaries? Are you both willing to compromise when necessary? If you answered "yes" to all of these questions, then it's likely that you have an emotionally healthy relationship.

What is the role of a licensed mental health professional in EFT couples therapy?

A licensed mental health professional guides couples through the EFT process, helping them navigate their emotional experiences and fostering positive change. The therapist facilitates understanding and connection between partners.

What are some practical strategies for managing relationship anxiety?

Some practical strategies for managing relationship anxiety include practicing self-compassion and self-care, setting healthy boundaries, getting enough sleep, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor.

Can EFT couples therapy be used alongside family therapy?

Yes, EFT couples therapy can complement family therapy by addressing the emotional dynamics within the couple relationship, which can have positive ripple effects on family members and overall family well-being.

Should we tell our friends and family we're going to counseling?

This is a personal decision that each couple will need to make for themselves. Some couples feel more comfortable sharing this information with their close friends and family, while others prefer to keep it to themselves. Ultimately, the decision is up to you.