How to Spot Narcissism and Depression

Can a narcissist suffer from depression? The answer is yes...

Can a narcissist suffer from depression? The answer is yes. Generally speaking, when you think of narcissism certain traits come to mind: outgoing, over-bearing, A-type personality, controlling, etc. Narcissists are often charismatic, and charming and attract friends, followers, and even fans. But what happens when a narcissist experiences depression, and why? What are the factors at play that make a normally outgoing, charismatic, and popular person feel depressed? The symptoms of both narcissism and depression may be severe, and cause the individual to suffer many different mental, emotional, and even physical problems. But to suffer from both narcissism and depression at the same time? This can have extreme consequences for the narcissist and those within their sphere of influence. If you or someone you know suffer from narcissism and depression, seek immediate professional treatment from a licensed counselor. Let's examine the signs and symptoms of narcissism and depression.

How to Spot Narcissism and Depression: Highs & Lows

The life of someone suffering from narcissism and depression can seem like a roller coaster. Narcissism and depression cause a person to experience extreme moments of happiness and sadness. One day they may be on top of the world, and the next immobile and confined to bed. Those suffering from narcissism and depression experience extreme desires to be super-social, and at other times anti-social. All narcissism is rooted in low self-esteem. Narcissists need to constantly feed their ego, to boost their low self-esteem. Those who suffer from narcissism and depression tend to binge on feeling significant. Think of it as eating too much when you're really hungry, then not eating for a while afterward. The narcissist over-satisfies their appetite for social interactions, gaining gross amounts of significant feelings. Then, gorged from the social experiences, retreats into depression. A common symptom of depression is the desire to be alone and left alone. You might say those who suffer from narcissism and depression are gluttons for significance.

How to Spot Narcissism and Depression: Fatigue & Illness

Narcissists are constantly trying to control and manipulate others. They are obsessed with presenting a larger-than-life persona. To a narcissist, all relationships are merely a means to an end. The narcissist will use and discard people, in a desperate attempt to feed their ego. Being a narcissist is hard work. Always conniving, calculating, and plotting how to manipulate people will make you tired. Those who suffer from narcissism and depression often struggle with fatigue, lethargy, forgetfulness, and body aches- all common signs of depression. Other symptoms of narcissism and depression include insomnia or excessive sleep, irritable bowel, eating disorders, and mood swings. When you are exhausted, especially from stress, your body becomes more susceptible to physical illness. Those who suffer from narcissism and depression often also suffer from chronic illness. The mind and body are one. So, it's no surprise that fatigue caused by narcissism often manifests as depression.

How to Spot Narcissism and Depression: Self Sabotage

It's not uncommon for those suffering from narcissism and depression often resort to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is when you intentionally destroy personal projects or plans and wreck potential opportunities. Narcissists often aggrandize or exaggerate their plans, goals, or accomplishments. They may brag about investments, job opportunities, income, and getting good deals. Remember, a narcissist is obsessed with their public persona. However, when their exaggerated predictions of success don't come to fruition, those suffering from narcissism and depression may self-sabotage. For example, a narcissist may brag about a potential, high-paying promotion by the end of the year.

But as the date for the promotion approaches, the narcissist may realize they will not get it. So, the narcissist sabotages their own potential for promotion by not working as hard or even quitting. A person suffering from narcissism and depression would rather self-sabotage than admit to failure. Common symptoms of depression include overwhelming pessimism, a refusal to even attempt success, and an inability to admit failure or accept blame. Those suffering from narcissism and depression often blame others, even when they self-sabotage.

narcissism and depression

How to Spot Narcissism and Depression: Acts of Violence

When a person with narcissism and depression feels they have been exposed to others, they may resort to acts of violence.

How does a narcissist feel exposed?

Ever hear the old saying- You can't fool all of the people all of the time?

A narcissist lives to fool others. They want you to buy into their fantasy world where they rule supreme.

But what happens when you realize a narcissist is not all their cracked up to be?

Maybe you catch them in a lie?

Maybe you see their hypocrisy?

Maybe you witness them fail?

For those suffering from narcissism and depression, being exposed for what they really are is often too much to take. When the world of a narcissist falls apart, the narcissist often lashes out. Violent fantasies and acts of violence are common symptoms of both narcissism and depression. If I can't have the world my way, an exposed narcissist might say, then I'll destroy this one. This may include vandalism as a means of revenge, domestic or workplace violence, and even violence against innocent strangers. For those suffering from narcissism and depression, an act of violence restores their feeling of power and control.

How to Spot Narcissism and Depression: Suicidal Thoughts In a similar way, suicidal thoughts and even action are often symptoms of narcissism and depression. When the narcissist's public persona is exposed as fake, and their world crumbles around them, they may desire to leave the world. It's common for those suffering from narcissism and depression to view the world as cold, cruel and stacked against them. Real success, happiness and contentment feel impossible. These kinds of feelings, induced by narcissism and depression, may lead to suicidal fantasies or even the act of suicide itself. If I cannot manipulate the world to my liking, the depressed narcissist may say, then I'll leave this world. Suicide is one of the most selfish acts one can commit, and yet, those who suffer from narcissism and depression thrive on selfishness.

Conclusion

As we've seen, narcissism and depression are a dangerous combination. The signs and symptoms of narcissism and depression are destructive to all involved. The extreme lengths a narcissist will go to in order to control and manipulate the world makes them a potential threat to themselves and others. Seek professional treatment for narcissism and depression immediately, before it's too late. A licensed professional counselor can help identify the symptoms of narcissism and depression, and treat them effectively. There is hope for real human connections, genuine love, and true hope. Narcissism and depression can be treated. Get help today.

Resources

https://www.amazon.com/BEYOND-PIPE-DREAMS-PLATITUDES-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B08M6H7RMQ/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=1AMLZKA6PV917&keywords=narcissism&qid=1659388168&s=books&sprefix=narcissism%2Cstripbooks%2C105&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyWFgySEJPMElJUTBRJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMjA3MTgxMk1GRlk3VlYwM0ZGSyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTg4NzU5MlVXTlQxV1VOVUJaUCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Mirror-Overcoming-Narcissism-Self-Centeredness-Relationships/dp/0578903245/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1AMLZKA6PV917&keywords=narcissism&qid=1659388188&s=books&sprefix=narcissism%2Cstripbooks%2C105&sr=1-4

https://www.amazon.com/Unmasking-Narcissism-Guide-Understanding-Narcissist/dp/1623156424/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1AMLZKA6PV917&keywords=narcissism&qid=1659388188&s=books&sprefix=narcissism%2Cstripbooks%2C105&sr=1-5

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

What should I do if a female narcissist is part of my social circle or family?

If you have a female narcissist in your social circles or family, it's crucial to protect your mental health. Recognize the common traits of narcissism, such as an inflated sense of self, self-centeredness, and lack of empathy. In many cases, women with narcissistic traits exert control through manipulation tactics. Seek professional help if you find it difficult to manage the situation. Therapists can provide strategies to deal with narcissistic behavior effectively.

What is the most dangerous type of narcissist?

The most dangerous type of narcissist is the Malignant Narcissist. They are often very charming and successful, but they also have a complete lack of remorse or empathy. They will do whatever it takes to get what they want, and they can be very dangerous.

What does narcissistic supply refer to and why does it matter if a narcissist ignores you?

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that narcissists crave. If a narcissist is ignoring you, it could mean they're not getting their desired narcissistic supply from you, so they resort to emotional abuse like completely ignoring to manipulate you into giving them more attention.

What is causing narcissistic injury and how does it relate to a narcissist ignoring you?

Causing narcissistic injury means hurting a narcissist's ego or self-importance. Even the smallest mistake or criticism can cause this injury. When injured, a narcissist might ignore the person who caused the injury to protect their inflated self-image...

How can I tell if I'm dating a narcissist?

If you're dating someone who is always seeking attention and approval, is extremely charming and successful or has a deep need for admiration, they may be a narcissist. However, the best way to know for sure is to consult with a mental health professional.

Why do narcissists ignore people when they feel jealous?

Jealous narcissists may ignore people as a way to punish or control them. If a narcissist perceives someone else as having all the cool things they want or being overly busy with other people, they might resort to silent treatment out of jealousy.