Examples of Narcissist Gaslighting and Ways to Deal with It

Examples of Narcissist Gaslighting and Ways to Deal with It

Are narcissists capable of gaslighting? 


Because gaslighting and narcissism work together

Narcissists are known for being manipulative and overbearing, and lacking empathy.

Narcissistic gaslighting is a significant issue that frequently happens alongside narcissistic abuse.

One of the most dehumanizing experiences one can have is being gaslighted.

Consider how cruel it is to cause someone to doubt their sanity.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Dr. Michelle Palmieri, DSW, LSW

Dr. Michelle Palmieri, DSW, LSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

What does Narcissistic Gaslighting Mean? 

Although narcissistic gaslighting is similar to normal gaslighting, it can be used for slightly different manipulating purposes. 

A narcissist, for example, might employ these strategies to retain or defend their ego, deter people from confronting them, or maintain a sense of dominance over others.

My personal life is full of narcissist gaslighting examples

Once, I was crazy in love. Like every other person blinded by love, I believed this was a once-in-a-lifetime love, just like in the movies.

Gradually, I was informed that I was kind one minute and rude the next. 

My mood, attitude, behavior, and emotions were said to fluctuate from one minute.

You would be shocked at how he tried to make me doubt my sanity. 

When he was among people, he was a different person, and when we were alone, he was a completely different person.

He succeeded in making me question my sanity, and I succumbed to my fears and had myself checked for Bipolar Disorder.

I discovered that I am mentally alright.

Examples of Narcissist Gaslighting 

In an argument, a narcissist would say a lot of things. 

If you hear any of them, run as fast as you can away from that person.

Below are some examples of narcissist gaslighting that everyone should know. 

Some cases of gaslighting could be unintentional, while others are quite deliberate.

1. "You're Feeling Insecure And Jealous." 

Another type of narcissist gaslighting is the accusation of paranoia against the victim. 

When your narcissistic gaslighting spouse makes such an accusation, there are good chances they're unfaithful to you.

Rather than taking responsibility for their actions, they will blame you for their mistakes and insecurities.

Knowing how to respond to gaslighting is crucial at this point for anyone in an unhealthy relationship.

2. "You're Too Sensitive"

You start to fall apart at this point. In a relationship, it is one of the most toxic gaslighting statements. 

You're not a sensitive person.

The abuser is cold-hearted and insensitive. 

They don't give a damn about your sentiments and emotions unless they're helpful to them.

You didn't expect it. It occurs without your knowledge. 

Your self-doubt grows stronger while your conviction and confidence erode.

Your emotions are continually dismissed. You've begun to believe everything.

3. "It's Because I Care About You."

Love bombing is a typical narcissist and sociopath abuse method, but it is also one of the most disregarded narcissist gaslighting examples. 

Gaslighters will always cite love as a defense to get you to believe them. 

They'll blame you for not trusting them or not loving them equally if you disagree with them. 

They will continue to push their hidden agenda and try to sway your thoughts and ideas.

  4. "You Have to Work on That."

Even if you are good at something, being constantly criticized makes you doubt yourself. 

The abuser trying to throw you off balance is one of the most common narcissist gaslighting examples. 

You will be accused of being overly emotional. 

They will critique your life, work, and even your dietary choices. 

They will continuously slam you with insults and make you doubt your Worth.

5. "It's Your Fault. Not Mine"  

A narcissist lies differently than an ordinary person.

To get out of a difficult situation, most people would lie. 

When a narcissist lies to you, however, they will twist events such that the victim feels guilty, as if they were the one who told a lie. 

As if the victim is the one who is responsible. 

They will be guilty but accuse you of gaslighting them. 

Then tag you a narcissistic gaslighter.  

Ways to Regain Your Self-Confidence After Narcissistic Gaslighting

1. Recall the Tactics And Terminology.

The narcissistic gaslighter uses a variety of catchphrases to keep you guessing.

Learn to recognize them immediately. 

You'll be accused of overreacting, making things up, having to calm down, taking things personally, and continually exaggerating events.

2. Identify Your Emotions  

When the gaslighter uses the strategies aforementioned, you can respond calmly by presenting your truths.

Reassure them that your feelings are legitimate. 

Make it apparent that you understand your feelings and what you've observed.  

3. Put Aside Your Competitive Instincts

It's not about outsmarting the narcissist. 

They're never going to confess it anyway. 

Show them instead that you are able and willing to walk away. 

Remove yourself from the conversation. 

They rely on you to help them act out their roles.

4. Collect Evidence  

Evidence is required if you intend to report the gaslighter. 

A narcissist can convince others. 

So, save screenshots, images, and other evidence so that your claims are considered seriously.  

5. Self-Care

You may lose faith in yourself if you are gaslighted. 

Self-care serves as a reminder that you are deserving of your time and attention. 

It also assists in developing the strong version of yourself required to deal with this challenging situation. 

Make a daily routine that includes healthy food, regular sleeping patterns, and physical activity. 

Frequently Asked Questions about Narcissistic Gaslighting

 What is narcissistic abuse and how does it manifest?

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse perpetrated by individuals with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder. 

It often manifests in manipulative behaviors designed to control and take advantage of others. 

This abuse can occur in different types of relationships, including a family member, romantic partners, or colleagues.

What are gaslighting tactics used by a narcissist?

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic used by a narcissist to make someone doubt their own perception of reality. 

Common gaslighting tactics include denial of previous incidents, changing the subject to divert attention, trivializing the person's concerns as "just a joke," or accusing the person of being too sensitive or making things up.

Can you provide some narcissistic gaslighting examples?

An example of gaslighting narcissist might be how a narcissist portrays themselves as the victim when they are called out for their abusive behavior. 

They may also twist and reinterpret events to make the other person feel like they're misremembering or overreacting, undermining their self-esteem and emotional well-being.

What personality traits are common in a narcissist?

Narcissists often exhibit traits such as an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for validation and admiration, a lack of empathy, manipulative behaviors, and difficulty accepting criticism or failure.

How can someone protect themselves from manipulative tactics in an abusive relationship?

It's crucial to cultivate self-awareness and understand the signs of manipulative behaviors. 

If you suspect you're in an abusive relationship, seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional counselors. 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline can provide resources and assistance. 

It's also important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and mental health.

How does narcissistic gaslighting affect a person's self-esteem and emotional well-being?

Narcissistic gaslighting can severely damage a person's self-esteem and emotional well-being by making them question their own reality and perceptions. 

This manipulation can lead to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and depression, and can undermine a person's trust in themselves and their experiences.

What is gaslighting behavior?

Gaslighting behavior involves manipulation tactics that make a person question their own memory, perception, or sanity. 

This behavior is often characterized by persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying to destabilize and delegitimize the person's belief in their own reality.

Are there personality disorders related to narcissism?

Yes, narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. 

Others include borderline, antisocial, and histrionic personality disorders. 

Each has its own unique set of symptoms but they all involve patterns of thinking and behavior that differ significantly from societal expectations and can cause distress or impairment.


Counselors who interact with clients struggling with toxic relationships, broken relationships, and infidelities say that gaslighting perpetrators do not do things purposefully. 

It's the right thing to do for them, and they believe that theirs is the only correct opinion and that any statement or sentiment that does not align with their desires or approval should be changed.

It's important to get away from your abuser

You can keep your distance from those who use abusive, manipulative, and toxic behavior when you notice the early signs of gaslighting. 

Make sure to record incidents rather than how your abuser claims they occurred.

Instead of succumbing to the abuser's distortions and delusions, save text messages, voicemails, e-mails, and audio or video recordings that can assist you in recalling the facts in times of depression.


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July 17th, 2024

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