Yes, It's Normal for a Healthy Couple to Argue

Yes, It's Normal for a Healthy Couple to Argue

Though it's often portrayed as a bad thing, arguing can actually be a sign of a strong relationship.

A healthy couple argues because they care about each other enough to want to resolve their differences.

They understand that an argument is not the end of the world and that it can help them grow closer together.

Of course, every couple is different and there's no magic number of arguments that indicates a healthy relationship. 

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Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

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Sarah Tapia, LPCC

Sarah Tapia, LPCC

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What is a Healthy Couple

A healthy couple is not defined by the number of times they argue, but by the way in which they argue.

Couples who can disagree without being disagreeable are usually the ones who have lasting relationships.

When a couple can understand and respect each other's perspectives, they are more likely to find solutions that work for both of them.

It is also important for couples to be able to apologize when they have said or done something that has hurt their partner.

A healthy couple will also make an effort to connect regularly, even when they are going through a difficult time.

By understanding what it takes to be a healthy couple, you can create a relationship that will stand the test of time. 

The Benefits of Arguing in a Relationship

It is perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with your partner from time to time. 

In fact, it can be beneficial to argue in a relationship.

When done healthily, arguing can help you to resolve disagreements, communicate effectively, and even strengthen your bond. 

Other benefits include:

  • Allowing you to practice self-control
  • Helping you to learn more about your partner
  • Encouraging you to be more assertive
  • Giving you an opportunity to practice active listening
  • Helping you to feel closer to your partner


There is a big difference between arguing healthily and engaging in destructive fighting.

If you find yourself constantly yelling and name-calling, it may be time to take a step back and reassess your approach.

When done right, arguing can be an important part of a happy and healthy relationship.

Tips for Resolving Conflicts in a Healthy Way

When you're in a relationship, you will inevitably have disagreements with your partner from time to time. 

But how you handle those disagreements can make all the difference in the world. 

If you're looking for tips on how to argue healthily, here are a few things to keep in mind:

  1. Avoid getting personal. It's easy to start hurling insults at each other when you're in the heat of an argument, but try to avoid doing that. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and stay calm.
  2. Don't bring up past issues. If you're arguing about something that happened a while ago, leave it in the past and focus on the present. Dredging up old arguments will only make things worse.
  3. Communicate effectively. This means listening as well as speaking. Pay attention to what your partner is saying and try to see their point of view. If you're both able to see each other's perspectives, it will be easier to find a resolution.
  4. Be willing to compromise. In any relationship, there has to be some give and take. You won't always get your way, but neither should your partner. If you're both willing to compromise, it will be easier to find solutions that work for both of you.


Arguing is a normal part of any relationship. 

But how you handle those arguments can make all the difference in the world. 

By following these tips, you can learn how to argue in a healthy way and keep your relationship strong.

How to Know If you and your Partner are Arguing Too Much

Even though arguing is a normal part of any relationship, there may come a time when you start to wonder if you're arguing too much. 

If you're concerned that your arguments are getting out of hand, here are a few things to look for:

  • Are your arguments escalating quickly?
  • Do you find yourself yelling or name-calling?
  • Are you bringing up past issues?
  • Are you able to resolve your disagreements?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to take a step back and reassess your approach.

Arguing is a normal part of any relationship, but there is such a thing as too much arguing.

If you're concerned that your arguments are getting out of hand, be sure to look for these warning signs.

By taking the time to address the issue, you can get back on track and start enjoying a healthy relationship.

When to Seek Relationship Counseling

If you're having difficulty resolving conflicts in your relationship, it may be time to seek professional help. 

Relationship counseling can help you to communicate effectively, resolve disagreements, and even strengthen your bond.

If you're not sure if counseling is right for you, here are a few signs to look for:

  • You're constantly arguing
  • You're not able to communicate effectively
  • You're unable to resolve your disagreements
  • You're feeling disconnected from your partner


If you're experiencing any of these problems, counseling may be able to help. 

If you're not sure where to start, ask your doctor or look for a qualified therapist in your area.

FAQs

How often do healthy couples argue?

There is no one answer to this question, as every couple is different. However, it is normal for a healthy couple to argue from time to time. If you're worried that you're arguing too much, be sure to look for signs that your arguments are getting out of hand.

What should I do if I'm having difficulty resolving conflicts in my relationship?

If you're having difficulty resolving conflicts, it may be time to seek professional help. Relationship counseling can help you communicate effectively, resolve disagreements, and even strengthen your bond.

What are some tips for arguing in a healthy way?

Some tips for arguing in a healthy way include: staying calm, focusing on the issue at hand, communicating effectively, and being willing to compromise. By following these tips, you can learn how to argue in a way that is healthy for your relationship.

Disclaimer

The content in this blog post is meant for informational purposes only. 

The content in this blog post should not be used as a substitute for official medical advice from a licensed professional.

Conclusion

Arguing is a normal part of any relationship, but it's important to handle those arguments in a healthy way. 

There are some benefits to healthily arguing, like communicating better and resolving disagreements.

If you're having difficulty arguing in a healthy way, it may be time to seek professional help.

If you're concerned that your arguments are getting out of hand, be sure to look for warning signs and seek professional help if necessary.

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September 29th, 2023

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