Ways to Create Emotional Safety in a Marriage

Ways to Create Emotional Safety in a Marriage

When you laugh, cry, express your feelings easily, and talk about your goals freely in front of your partner, it's evident that there's some level of automatic emotional safety with your spouse and understanding of how to create emotional safety in a marriage can help you know the conscious decisions to make for the continued existence of the positivity.

Actively listening to your partner is one way to make them feel safe because they know they can always talk to you and you would listen; thus, you should use proper non-verbal communication methods, ask them questions about what they are saying, and give them a summary of their discussion when they are done talking.

Similarly, being transparent to your spouse can help you create emotional safety in a marriage because the openness about your actions, whereabouts, and feelings helps them feel secure in their understanding of who you are.

Furthermore, you can create an emotional safe zone by giving them the benefit of the doubt in difficult situations, enabling them to confide in you easily because they know you won't judge them even if you disagree with what they have done.

You can utilize these methods to create emotional safety in a marriage:

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Be Transparent 

Hiding phones or having another private life should not be in a marriage because the union between two individuals should contain transparency since they have come together to become one.

To create emotional safety in a marriage, you have to let transparency in, and you can do this by making a mutual agreement with your partner to never keep secrets from each other and to always see each other as confidants.

Also, ensure that you give them the first announcement of every vital news or event so they may know everything about you before others and not have to hear it from someone else.

You should equally ensure you have nothing to hide from them on your phone or social media accounts; if you become fidgety when they hold your phone, it's evident that you are hiding something from them, and it would be great to come clean before they find it out themselves.

Set Boundaries 

Setting boundaries can help you create emotional safety in a marriage as they help you keep your sense of personal identity, allowing you to stay "you" and use your uniqueness to accommodate your partner's emotional needs.

It's great to place boundaries in your marriage as soon as possible so your partner will get used to them and not see them as hindrances to the marriage if you introduce new ones later.

Try to communicate adequately with your partner whenever you desire to set some boundaries so you can share the way it would operate, the reason for placing it, and how it would affect them; also, the conversation will allow them to give you feedback on the feasibility of the boundary and if it rubs them in a good way.

During this conversation with them, ensure you are considerate and kind with your sentences and give them respect by using a gentle tone without blaming them for forcing you to create a boundary.

Consider Counseling 

Introducing regular counseling sessions into your time spent together can help you create emotional safety in a marriage as it would allow you to benefit from the experience of a marriage counselor who would give you fantastic tips for a healthy marriage.

Meeting with a counselor will give you access to a mediator that can help you and your partner communicate your emotional desires to each other where you have had issues with such communication.

Moreover, they can help you analyze your behavioral traits to see the ones your partner appreciates the most, so you can keep doing them, and the ones they despise, so you can change them and stick to the good deeds providing emotional safety.

You will also learn more realistic details about your partner from a counseling session, enabling you to see them for who they are and not for what you want them to be.

Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt 

There are likely times when you have gotten mad at your partner and later discovered that they were trying to help you, and if you had only given them the benefit of the doubt, you would have seen their true intentions and praised them for the efforts.

Thus, it's essential to give your partner the benefit of the doubt in a marriage, and you can do this by ensuring you don't jump to conclusions whenever there's an issue; instead, you should ask them questions about your suspicions and wait for them to give you answers before you start connecting dots.

Furthermore, you can make this behavior stick by getting used to it and doing it every time you suspect certain things, and the more times you employ this strategy, the easier it becomes to give them the benefit of the doubt in any situation.

You can try to breathe slowly and calm down whenever there's a situation that can make you jump to conclusions; then, remember your partner as your confidant, helper, and lover and give them the benefit of the doubt based on your intimate relationship.

Listen Actively 

Getting immersed in your partner's speech can help create emotional safety in a marriage because it would show them that you care and love them, which would make them feel safe with you and open to discussing anything with you.

As an active listener, you should put aside all distractions, focus on your partner, push everything out of your mind, and ensure your body language indicates intense interest in what they want to say, giving them a sense of security that you care about their words.

As they talk, ensure you don't interrupt or give advice; simply listen to them throughout the speech without breaking their flow or giving an emotional reaction that makes them uncomfortable.

And at the end of their talk, summarize all they have said and repeat it back to them with your added pieces of observation, and ask them if your summary was correct; doing this will help them know that you listened throughout, and they would feel safer discussing emotional topics with you.


Making your marriage an emotionally safe spot for you and your partner is a goal that can be achieved when you create emotional safety in marriage by being transparent, setting boundaries, having counseling sessions, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, and actively listening to them.


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June 6th, 2023

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