Sometimes, the best thing to do in a heated argument is to leave before it begins.
Heated discussions are terrible and can cause fractures in relationships.
To avoid these fractures and to communicate effectively with a defensive partner, it's vital that you learn how to walk away from an argument.
When you notice that you telling them of your feelings is about to cause a fight, you should realize that it's time to leave.
Once you realize this, be sure to inform your partner that you need space to process things.
As you inform them, be sure to include a specific time and reason for which you want to be away.
It may be 20, 30, or 40 minutes; just make sure to tell them.
You should let them know you are coming back, so they will understand that you aren't backing out; instead, you want to calm down for a while before revisiting the issue.
After taking as long as you need to calm down, you should come back and handle the conversation more calmly.
You may share what you meditated upon in the minutes of walking away, helping you show that you are intentional with your thoughts.
Depending on the situation that caused an argument between you both, a compromise can take different forms.
Regardless of the form, a compromise will always involve reducing your needs to accommodate your partner's needs.
Doing this can help you communicate effectively with a defensive partner.
If the situation that caused the argument was a choice of vacation spots, your compromise could take a writing-based form.
In this form, since you can't agree on a particular vacation spot, both of you can write your best locations with their characteristics, then pick a neutral place with the combination of the best parts.
Furthermore, if your argument revolved around the division of house chores, you can solve the issue by compromising.
You and your partner can write a list of your best and worst tasks and then compromise based on an exchange of chores.
You may experience an issue with spending time together and alone.
One of you may be more solitary than the other, resulting in an argument about not trying to spend time.
You can compromise by reducing the number of time spent alone while also reducing the number of time needed together by the other person.
Being defensive about perceived allegations is natural for most people since we don't like to be the bad guy.
But this usually leads to ineffective communication because the defensive person will likely not listen to what the hurt person is saying.
Therefore, if you want to communicate effectively with a defensive partner, you should try to collaborate with them, accommodate them, walk away from them, compromise, and frame the conversation on your personal experience.
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