Strategies to Handle Your Partner's Fear of Intimacy

Strategies to Handle Your Partner's Fear of Intimacy

Many people struggle with the fear of intimacy due to their bad experiences in past relationships.

Falling in love with someone with this fear might be difficult because they don't know how to respond to love. 

Therefore, learning how to handle your partner's fear of intimacy is essential.

One way to manage your partner's fear of intimacy is to be empathetic towards them. 

Empathy towards your partner helps you see things from their perspective.

It also allows you to find reasons for their behavior.

Another way you can manage your partner's fear of intimacy is by taking active steps to get closer to them. 

When you get closer to them in ways other than romantic ways, it could foster emotional intimacy between you and your partner.

It will also help if you are open about the situation with your partner. 

Your partner who fears intimacy might not know how their behavior makes you feel. 

However, when you're honest with them, they become conscious and find ways to adjust.

Continue reading to learn about the strategies you can employ to handle your partner's fear of intimacy.

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Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

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Hailey Gloden, MA, LPC, NCC

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Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Margot Bean, LCSW

Margot Bean, LCSW

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Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

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Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

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Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

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Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

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Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

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Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Be Empathetic 

Empathy is crucial in sustaining lasting relationships. 

Empathy helps us to understand the feelings of others and how we can respond to these feelings, thus, learning empathy to handle your partner's fear of intimacy can be helpful.

You can develop empathy toward your partner by sharing their feelings. 

Sharing their feelings involves putting yourself in their shoes. 

When you put yourself in your partner's shoes, you tend to understand them better. 

Also, identifying with the feelings of others would generally improve your level of empathy.

It will also help if you cultivate the habit of being a good listener. 

Listening goes beyond hearing your partner. It involves paying your undivided attention and thinking of ways to find a solution to the situation. 

When your partner is aware of this, they tend to discuss more with you, which would further build your intimacy.

Taking the necessary steps to develop empathy would positively impact your relationship with your spouse.

Get Closer to Your Partner 

Taking active steps to build a stronger connection with your partner can never be over-emphasized. 

Getting close to your partner can also help to improve your intimacy with them.

It is an excellent way to handle your partner's fear of intimacy.

You can get closer to your partner by showing genuine interest in what makes them happy. 

For instance, if your partner loves to play football, you can follow them to the field and even cheer them on when they score a goal.

You could also take evening strolls with them.

It will also help if you support your partner's ambitions. 

Doing this would make them feel closer to you. 

Everyone wants someone who is constantly in their corner, rooting for them. 

Supporting your partner's dreams also has a way of fostering intimacy.

Building a strong bond between you and your partner who is afraid of getting intimate would assist them in getting over their fear of intimacy.

Be Open With Your Partner 

One of the reasons why your partner might be afraid of intimacy is because they find it challenging to be vulnerable with you.

Being open with your partner makes you vulnerable to them, which is an excellent strategy to handle your partner's fear of intimacy.

Honesty helps to build compatibility with your partner. 

When you discuss your past and present challenges with your partner, you tend to understand each other better. 

Better understanding between you and your partner would also foster intimacy.

It will help if you are honest about your partner's fear of intimacy. 

Opening up to them about their fears would make them feel safer with you. 

It would also help in finding solutions to their worries.

You can also discuss how you overcome your fears with your partner.

Generally, openness provides a sense of security in any relationship. 

An excellent way to sustain your relationship with your partner is to be open and honest with them.

Seek Help for Your Partner 

Therapists play a significant role in mending relationships.

If you struggle to show intimacy with a partner, you might consider referring them to a therapist. 

A therapy session would help you handle your partner's fear of intimacy.

A therapist is in an excellent position to find out the cause(s) of your partner's fear of intimacy and provide solutions to the problem. 

A therapist would also help you view the issues from an unbiased perspective.

You could see the therapist together, a couple. 

You can also refer your partner to a therapist.

Sometimes, depression causes fear of intimacy. 

A partner who fears intimacy due to depression would find a therapist very helpful.

It is always advisable to employ the services of a therapist in your relationship because therapists receive intense training in identifying the issues within a relationship and finding solutions to the problems.

Give Them Space 

When all alternatives fail, you can consider giving your partner some space. 

Your partner might need some time to evaluate their thoughts. 

Giving your partner space is an excellent way to handle your partner's fear of intimacy.

Giving your partner space might be challenging, especially when you are very fond of them.

However, if you communicate properly, you might not experience any challenges.

It will help if you discuss how and why you need some personal time away from your partner.

You could also try to set healthy boundaries with your partner to create space. 

Setting boundaries involve scheduling the time you love to spend alone for your work or self-care. 

It will also help if you spend time with friends and family when you need space from your partner.

Although spending quality time with your partner is very healthy, it is equally beneficial to spend time alone.

Quality time with yourself helps you rejuvenate and can be very refreshing for your relationship.


It might be harrowing to have a partner who fears intimacy.

However, proper management of the situation would help you sustain the relationship.

To handle your partner's fear of intimacy, you should be empathetic, get closer to them, be open with them, seek help, and give them some space.


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May 18th, 2024

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