Strategies to Handle Your Partner's Fear of Intimacy

Overcoming a fear of intimacy can be challenging, especially when past experiences in intimate relationships have led to anxiety disorders and avoidance...

Marriage
May 23, 2025

Overcoming a fear of intimacy can be challenging, especially when past experiences in intimate relationships have led to anxiety disorders and avoidance.

When someone struggles with a fear of romantic intimacy or emotional intimacy, it can be difficult for them to engage in meaningful emotional and physical connections. Managing this fear is crucial in adult relationships to prevent relationship failures.

  • Show empathy to understand your partner's deep-seated fear, helping them feel safe and supported.
  • Encourage open communication about the fear of intimacy, fostering a stronger emotional connection.
  • Engage in non-romantic activities to build a comfortable and trusting intimate relationship.
  • Address any avoidance anxiety by gradually introducing elements of physical intimacy at a comfortable pace.

Couples counseling can help people learn what fear intimacy brings and learning the steps to overcome it. It can help you can transform anxiety into a more fulfilling and supportive romantic relationship. Developing empathy and open dialogue are essential strategies for managing intimacy avoidance and building lasting connections.

Be Empathetic

Empathy plays a vital role in nurturing lasting romantic relationships by allowing us to understand and respond to our partner's feelings. For instance, when dealing with a partner who has an avoidant personality disorder or a bad memory from childhood, relationships that cultivate empathy can be key to overcoming fear and building trust.

This understanding can help prevent relationship failures and enhance emotional connections.

  • Put yourself in your partner's shoes to better understand their perspective and emotions.
  • Practice active listening to show genuine interest and care, which can encourage open discussions.
  • Identify and share the feelings of others to enhance your empathy skills in social relationships.
  • Support your partner in overcoming fear by fostering an environment where they feel heard and valued.

Committing to these empathetic practices can strengthen your relationship, creating a deeper bond that supports both emotional and sexual intimacy. Developing empathy is a continuous journey that enriches both short term relationships, long term relationships, and adult partnerships, leading to more fulfilling connections.

Get Closer to Your Partner

Taking active steps to build a stronger connection with your partner can never be over-emphasized. Getting close to your partner can also help improve your intimacy with them and is an excellent way to handle your partner's fear of intimacy. You can get closer to your partner by showing genuine interest in what makes them happy. For instance, if your partner loves to play football, you can follow them to the field and cheer them on when they score a goal.

You could also take evening strolls with them. It will also help if you support your partner's ambitions. Doing this would make them feel closer to you, as everyone wants someone who is constantly in their corner, rooting for them. Supporting your partner's dreams also fosters intimacy. Building a strong bond between you and your partner who is afraid of getting intimate will help them overcome their fear of intimacy.

Be Open With Your Partner

One of the reasons your partner might be afraid of intimacy is because they find it challenging to be vulnerable with you. Being open with your partner makes you vulnerable to them, which is an excellent strategy to handle their fear of intimacy. Honesty helps build compatibility between you. When you discuss your past and present challenges, you both tend to understand each other better, which fosters intimacy.

It will help if you are honest about your partner's fear of intimacy. Opening up about their fears would make them feel safer with you and help find solutions to their worries. You can also share how you overcome your fears with your partner. Openness provides a sense of security in any relationship, and an excellent way to sustain your relationship is by being open and honest with each other.

Getting close to your partner can help them get over their fear of intimacy.

Seek Help for Your Partner

Therapists play a significant role in mending relationships. If you struggle to show intimacy with your partner, you might consider referring them to a therapist. A therapy session can help handle your partner's fear of intimacy. A therapist is well-equipped to identify the causes of your partner's fear and provide solutions. They can also offer an unbiased perspective on the issues you're facing.

You could see the therapist together as a couple, or you can refer your partner to a therapist alone. Sometimes, depression causes a fear of intimacy, and a partner dealing with this would find therapy very helpful. It is always advisable to seek the services of a therapist in your relationship, as they are trained to identify and address relationship issues effectively.

Give Them Space

When all alternatives fail, giving your partner some space can be an effective way to handle their fear of intimacy. Your partner might need time to evaluate their thoughts and emotions. Although it can be challenging, especially when you care deeply for them, clear communication can make this process smoother.

It's important to discuss why and how you need personal time away from your partner. Setting healthy boundaries, such as scheduling time for work, self-care, or spending time with friends and family, can help create the necessary space. While spending quality time with your partner is essential, time alone can also be beneficial, as it allows for personal rejuvenation and can bring fresh energy into your relationship.

Conclusion

It might be harrowing to have a partner who fears intimacy. However, proper management of the situation would help you sustain the relationship. To handle your partner's fear of intimacy, you should be empathetic, get closer to them, be open with them, seek help, and give them some space.

Resources

https://www.psychalive.org/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-your-partners-fear-of-intimacy/

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Close-to-Someone-with-Intimacy-Issues

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-develop-empathy-in-relationships

https://theconversation.com/understanding-others-feelings-what-is-empathy-and-why-do-we-need-it

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/honesty-and-openness.htm

https://talkingcirclestherapy.com/6-important-benefits-of-couples-therapy/

https://eugenetherapy.com/article/how-to-create-space-in-your-relationship/

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

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EFT couples therapy is beneficial for couples experiencing relationship distress, marital issues, or emotional disconnection. It is suitable for partners looking to improve their emotional intelligence and create a more secure attachment.

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Yes, Tricare does cover telehealth services, including mental health counseling sessions conducted over a secure video conference.

What are the eligibility requirements for accessing marriage counseling through Tricare?

Any active duty, retired, or eligible family member of a military service member who has Tricare coverage can access marriage counseling if it's deemed necessary for treating a diagnosed mental health condition.

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