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Signs You are Not Putting Effort Into Your Marriage
Understandably, you may not notice that you are not putting effort into your marriage because you are overwhelmed by life's issues.
A prominent sign of you not putting effort is when you notice that being vulnerable with your partner is now demanding.
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Being Vulnerable is Difficult for You
Maintaining a solid emotional bond in your marriage is vital for achieving a blissful union, and to get that strong bond, there has to be some form of vulnerability you show your partner that will indicate that you are true to your intentions about loving them.
Saying "sorry" or "I love you" are two ways of being vulnerable to your partner because one of them means that you are submitting to guilt and picking the relationship over your feelings, while the other means that you are expressing what you feel about them without the fear of what they would say in return.
When you notice that you are finding it difficult to say these words to them, it may mean that you are no more putting effort into your relationship.
This is because taking the blame for situations and expressing how you feel is emotionally taxing, and they require mental effort before you can utter them.
Once you notice that you are exhibiting this sign, try to think about how vulnerability can help your marriage become better.
Consider that vulnerability can help you build trust in your relationship because it will show your partner that you are putting some effort into making them know you more intimately.
You No Longer Spend Time Together
You can spend quality time together by doing food exploration across various restaurants, visiting a local museum, going to a concert of your favorite musician, taking an evening walk, going to the cinema, or playing board games at home.
If you realize that you have not been spending much time together due to you always avoiding the moments or never initiating them, it may indicate a noncommittal response to your marriage.
As a reasonable adult, it's expected that you should try to rectify issues you caused immediately you discover you are the cause.
You are Not Interested in Knowing More
Reducing communication between you is a sign that you no longer wish to know more about them.
Similarly, if you used to talk to them for hours physically or over the phone about their day and goals, and you now opt for shorter conversations between both of you, that's a strong indication that you are not interested in knowing more about them.
Since constantly updating your knowledge about your partner will help you know the best ways to make them happy, you should consider getting back to the periods you used to be crazy about them.
The Thought of Being Intentional Stresses You
When you create such excuses for yourself, that's a sign of you not wanting to put effort.
When you promise your partner to make efforts, it's essential that you start to think of ways to make them happy in the marriage.
Once you make a conscious decision to make efforts to improve your marriage, it will become easy for you to regularly make your partner happy and strengthen the emotional bond between you.
Your Partner Wants to Leave
Usually, a partner will stay through many ups and downs before embarking on a divorce journey because it's not easy to move on after a divorce or let a companion go.
It's possible that you took the relationship for granted, feeling safe that your partner will always stay with you.
Whatever behavior may have caused you to put little effort into your relationship, it will only matter if you can convince your partner that you will change the behavior so they can forget the divorce papers and move on with you in the relationship.
Conclusion
It's essential that you know that a successful marriage is the contribution of the partners' efforts.
If you notice that you are finding it challenging to be vulnerable to your partner, no longer spending time together, no longer interested in learning more about them, finding it stressful to make efforts, and finding out that your partner wants to leave, then it's very likely that you have not been putting effort into your marriage.
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