Realistic Things That Happen in Marriage

Realistic Things That Happen in Marriage

Generally, marriage is touted as a fantasy tale where you have constant happiness and excitement, but it's not always rosy; it is a mix of positive and negative; thus, it's essential to constantly remind yourself of the things that happen in marriage to prepare for the bad and push for the good.

Your partner is most likely your best friend, and being married to them means you will get to enjoy endless companionship, compassion, support, comfort, love, and empathy as long as you make efforts to give each other these positive things.

Another positive thing in marriage is the security that comes with being with a partner that will always come back to you at night, won't break up with you because of an argument, and won't go on a dating spree with other people because they want to punish you.

Contrastingly, be sure to expect conflict as you are different people with different abilities, thoughts, and opinions, and no matter the number of values you share in common, there will be periods where you disagree because you can't come to the same conclusion in terms of money, home location, or type of job.

Explore the more detailed review of the things that happen in a marriage:

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Security 

In a loving relationship, security is the knowledge that your partner will stay with you through thick and thin as they promised in their marriage vow, ensuring that you don't get worried about them leaving you because of a frivolous argument or the emergence of a new friend in their life.

Similarly, when there's security in your marriage, you will allow each other to do your thing without guilt-tripping them about not spending time with you because you understand that you are each other's priority.

Despite being one of the things that happen in a marriage, security still requires a bit of work for its constant activation; therefore, you should try to make your spouse feel more secure by reassuring them whenever there's an issue; for example, in case of a heavy argument, you should reassure them that you still want them.

Another way to make them feel more secure in the marriage is to ensure prompt replies to their communication attempts; whenever they send you messages or call, ensure you reply as soon as possible because a failure to do so may make them think you don't regard them as important.

Conflict 

Avoiding conflict is impossible as it's one of the inevitable things that happen in marriage due to each spouse's diverse habits, value systems, preferences, and priorities; hence, the best thing you can do is to learn to identify the causes and solve them amicably.

A significant cause of conflict is the presence of unreasonable and unmet expectations; in both instances, issues may arise where you have reasonable expectations that your partner fails to meet or unjustified expectations that your partner can't meet.

Whenever these instances arise, the best way to ensure the continued existence of your blissful marriage is to talk about the expectations and reach a middle ground where you can sacrifice some expectations and increase some obligations to satisfy your partner's unmet expectations.

Aside from expectations, finances also contribute to marital conflict when resentment grows because of a lack of disclosure about the financial situation, differences in economic priorities, non-working spouses, and different investment appetites.

Sexual Inactivity 

Sporadic periods of little or no sex are one of the things that happen in marriage, with some couples having more extended periods than others due to a lack of resolution of the issues that caused the sexless periods.

With the aging of both partners and weakening immune systems, there is an excellent chance of having an ailment that can cause reduced libido and desire for sexual intimacy; even the treatment of certain conditions can reduce a partner's passion for engaging in sex.

Similarly, there may be a natural difference in your sex drive, which may cause infrequent sex because you have to wait for each other to be ready for sex before you can engage in it.

With the coming of children, the post-pregnancy period is usually a period of sexual inactivity because the recovery period after pregnancy can take six weeks or more, leaving you to engage in other forms of intimacy.

In these various periods of sexual inactivity, engaging in reasonable conversations with your partner about the issues can smoothen the problems and have you back to the good times with balanced sexual intimacy.

Companionship

Companionship is one of the things that happen in marriage, especially where the marriage is for love, and you are bound to enjoy a great emotional connection with your partner, allowing you to be vulnerable with them, trust them wholeheartedly, and feel comfortable together.

With companionship, you also get a partner who respects your emotional, physical, and sexual boundaries, understanding not to hurt your emotions intentionally, force you to have sex, and inflict physical abuse upon you.

You will also see the commitment from your partner as they will devote themselves to making you happy, ending arguments amicably because they don't want to leave the marriage, and planning with you on ways to improve the marriage.

Proper communication will also be present in your compassionate marriage, where you will discuss openly your feelings and dreams, allowing you to increase your emotional intimacy, maintain honesty, promote positive emotions, and express your desires to each other easily.

Anxiety 

Experiencing anxiety is common, and it's one of the things that happen in marriage because people are afraid that the positive feelings and events in the marriage will end, leading them to have emotional distress and fatigue even before any negative thing happens.

If you constantly worry about how much you matter to your partner, you are likely experiencing anxiety, and you may get more negative thoughts about your partner not missing you, them not offering support to you in terms of need, or them only staying in a relationship with you because of what you offer.

Similarly, doubting your partner's feelings after showing you kind gestures and saying sweet things to you is another indicator of anxiety as you don't believe that everything can be so rosy in a marriage.

To overcome anxiety, try to become more mindful of your feelings; whenever the negative emotions pop up, acknowledge them and disperse them by thinking of the positive parts of your relationship instead.

Conclusion

Knowing the things that happen in marriage, such as relationship security, conflict, sexual inactivity, companionship, and anxiety, you can realistically tailor your expectations to have a solid and compassionate marriage.

Resources 

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/what-is-security-in-a-relationship/

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/resolve-conflict-in-marriage/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-expect-from-your-marriage_

https://www.verywellmind.com/sexless-marriages-

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/characteristics-of-a-good-partner/

https://www.healthline.com/health/relationship-anxiety 

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October 7th, 2022