How to Talk About Marriage Problems

How to Talk About Marriage Problems

Marriage problems are a common topic for couples to discuss. 

The goal is to find solutions and work through the issue, not just vent frustrations or anger.

Marriage counseling can be helpful in this process.

This article will help you talk about marriage problems with your spouse and explore the different types of therapy available to improve communication skills and make any necessary changes.

Marriages & Couples Therapists in Colorado

Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Travis Call, MA, MFTC

Travis Call, MA, MFTC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Zachary Peterson, LCSW

Zachary Peterson, LCSW

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Hailey Gloden, MA, LPCC, NCC

Hailey Gloden, MA, LPCC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Joel Harms, MA, LPC

Joel Harms, MA, LPC

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Jessica Packard, SWC

Jessica Packard, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
​Randal Thomas, SWC

​Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Sarah Tapia, LPCC

Sarah Tapia, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Winnie Siwa, LPCC

Winnie Siwa, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424

Talk About the Problem Calmly and Honestly

The first step is to talk about the problem with your spouse. 

This can be difficult, especially if you are feeling hurt or frustrated. 

Some ways to introduce the ideas of talking about this are:

  • "I want to talk about something that's been bothering me."
  • "I feel like we're not communicating well about this issue."
  • "I think we need to talk about our expectations for this marriage."


It is important to be honest and open about your feelings. 

You may need to set aside some time to have this discussion so that you can both focus on the issue at hand.

If you are having trouble communicating with your spouse, you may want to consider marriage counseling.

Marriage counselors are trained to help couples improve communication and resolve conflict. 

This is an important step when learning how to talk about marriage problems. 

Don't Bottle Up Your Feelings - Express Them in a Healthy Way

It is important to express your feelings in a healthy way. 

This may mean talking to a friend or family member about your marriage problems or writing in a journal.

You should avoid expressing your feelings in a way that is hurtful to your spouse, such as through yelling, name-calling, or making threats. 

These behaviors will only make the situation worse.

Some ways to express yourself healthily are:

  • "I feel like I can't talk to you about this without yelling, so I'm going to take a break for a little while."
  • "I need to talk to someone about this issue, and I was wondering if you would be willing to listen."
  • "I know it's hard to hear, but I need to tell you how I feel about this situation."


Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and work together to find solutions to the problems.

Seek Professional Help if Necessary

If you are having serious marriage problems, you may want to seek professional help. 

This can be in the form of marriage counseling or therapy.

Therapy can also be helpful for couples dealing with marriage problems. 

This type of therapy is often conducted by a licensed therapist or counselor.

It can help couples learn how to communicate better and understand each other's needs. 

It can also guide how to deal with specific issues, such as infidelity or financial stress.

Make Changes to Improve Your Relationship

Once you have identified the problem areas in your marriage, you can start to make changes to improve your relationship. 

This may mean making a commitment to spend more time together, communicating better, or attending counseling sessions.

Some changes that you might have to make are:

  • Spend more time together: This may mean making a date night once a week or taking a weekend trip together.
  • Communicate better: This may mean learning how to listen to your spouse without interrupting, taking turns talking, and avoiding using hurtful words.
  • Attend counseling sessions: This can help you learn new communication and problem-solving skills.


Making these changes can be difficult, but it is important to remember that marriage is a commitment. 

With effort and time, you can improve your relationship.

Communicate Effectively and Be Open to Change

In order to effectively communicate with your spouse, you need to be open to change.

This means being willing to change the way you communicate, as well as the way you think about and handle conflict.

It is also important to be patient when communicating with your spouse. 

This means taking the time to listen to what they have to say and trying to understand their point of view.

Lastly, it is important to be respectful when communicating with your spouse. 

This means using kind words and avoiding put-downs or criticisms.

When you are open to change, you can learn new ways of communicating that can improve your marriage.

Some tips for effective communication are:

  • Try to understand your spouse's point of view.
  • Use "I" statements when sharing your feelings.
  • Avoid using hurtful words or put-downs.
  • Take turns talking and listening.
  • Be patient with each other.


Communication is an important part of any relationship, but it is especially important in marriage. 

With effort and time, you can improve the way you communicate with your spouse.

Be Patient and Understand That it Will Take Time to Work Through the Problem

This type of work can take time. 

You may not see results right away, but it is important to be patient and understand that change takes time.

It is also important to understand that you and your spouse are on a journey. 

This means that there will be ups and downs along the way.

The most important thing is to keep working at it. 

With time and effort, you can improve your marriage.

This is an important thing to consider when learning how to talk about marriage problems.

Disclaimer

Please do not consider the contents of this article as official medical advice. 

This article is for informational purposes only. 

If you need help or you are struggling, then please reach out to a licensed professional, consultant, or medical professional who can provide you with the guidance you need.

FAQs

Q: My spouse and I are having serious marriage problems. What should we do?

A: If you are having serious marriage problems, you may want to seek professional help. 

This can be in the form of marriage counseling or therapy. 

Therapy can also be helpful for couples dealing with marriage problems. 

This type of therapy is often called couple's therapy.

Q: What are some common marriage problems?

A: Some common marriage problems include communication difficulties, financial stress, and infidelity.

Q: How can I improve my communication with my spouse?

A: In order to improve your communication with your spouse, you need to be open to change.

This means being willing to change the way you communicate, as well as the way you think about and handle conflict.

It is also important to be patient when communicating with your spouse. 

This means taking the time to listen to what they have to say and trying to understand their point of view. 

Lastly, it is important to be respectful when communicating with your spouse. 

This means using kind words and avoiding put-downs or criticisms. 

When you are open to change, you can learn new ways of communicating that can improve your marriage.

Conclusion

When you're facing marriage problems, it's important to talk about them with your spouse. 

This can be a difficult conversation, but it's necessary to find solutions and work through the issue. 

You may feel anger, frustration, or sadness, but it's important to express these feelings healthily.

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September 27th, 2023

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