How to Support your Partner with Depression

Marriage
March 21, 2025

Recognizing signs of depression in your spouse is just the first step in how to support a partner with depression.

To truly help your loved one, immerse yourself in learning about mental health conditions, including severe depression, and consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional.

Encourage your partner to seek therapy for depression near them, as professional help can make a big difference during this difficult time.

Practice self care for maintaining your own energy and well-being; this will allow you to be a stronger source of support.

Nurturing your own happiness through friendships and hobbies can better share the positive energy needed for your struggling loved one.

Supporting your partner with depression can help the marriage become stronger because it indicates that you value the marriage and are committed to their good living. 

Learn About Depression 

The first step to learn how to support a partner with depression is learning about the mental illness.

Educate yourself on the symptoms and understand that depression isn't always triggered by a negative event.

This knowledge helps in dealing with your partner's emotions and behavior without attributing their condition to something specific.

Depression affects neurotransmitters, causing mental and physical fatigue, but there's hope as it is treatable.

Talk to your partner and see if they may consider to seek therapy and offer to listen to their feelings, providing tips to reignite their interest in activities.

In so doing you can help them deal with the difficult journey and combat any angry outbursts they may experience.

Take Care of Yourself 

Generally, we need to refill and recharge our social batteries after making people happy and before making more people happy. 

This situation also exists if your partner is depressed, as you will need to have moments for self-care to be at your best for them.

Therefore, when planning how to support your depressed partner every day, think of how to support your mental health so it won't degrade.

You can incorporate a 45-minute personal time to catch up with activities that give you joy.

In your specified time, you can perform solo activities such as following a TV show, taking an evening walk, going to the spa, taking a long drive to think only positive thoughts, singing and dancing to music, filling in your diary, or call family members.

You may also engage in activities with friends to enjoy the ambiance from their happy thoughts and have someone to talk to. 

You can go to the cinema with your friend, go shopping, run with them, exercise with them, watch live performances, or go on a short hike.

Involve a Professional Counselor 

As heroic as you may be feeling, depression is not a light condition that emotional home remedies can solely tackle. 

To support your depressed partner, you may need to involve a professional counselor to allow your partner to benefit from their expert advice and methods.

When your partner sees a counselor, the session will involve helping your partner realize the actual events that caused their depression. 

Pinpointing these reasons can help develop measures that will prevent their occurrence and the subsequent manifestation of depression.

Also, the counselor will help your plan set realistic goals in the path to recovery using their expert knowledge and proven methods. It's essential to let a counselor set the goals because they need to be measurable and achievable for easy achievement.

The professional counselor will also help your depressed partner develop the necessary skills to combat their episodes of depression and prevent such episodes. 

Don't Blame Your Partner 

If it ever becomes tiring for you to cope with your partner's mood swings, lethargy, and sadness, take a deep breath and calm down. To support your depressed partner, you need to encourage them and help them rather than blame them.

Avoid telling them to try harder to get out of the depression. It's not something they can easily turn off, and it's not like they also enjoy the negativity around it. 

Try to help in your ways and be patient with the methods to help improve their condition.

Similarly, you should not be dismissive of their condition because this will cause them more sadness. 

If you disregard the depression, they may feel unloved and alone in the world since you are their partner and you are supposed to be their emotional companion.

Ensure that you also don't resort to shaming them. 

A depressed person is constantly embarrassed by their situation, and you shaming your depressed partner will only cause them to feel more significant embarrassment and shy away from you.

Two people holding each others hands

Work With Them 

Going through thick and thin in your relationship involves you working together to create a stronger marriage. 

When you support your depressed partner by working with them to heal the condition, it will strengthen your emotional bond and create a more blissful marriage.

Working with them may mean talking to them about how they feel and asking them to help you understand it so you can somewhat realize the depth of the condition.

Furthermore, you can work with them by being involved in every activity that can help them heal and get back to their regular functioning schedules.

You can also attend their counseling sessions with them, enabling you to partake and help them answer some questions when they are too mentally fatigued to continue. 

Your presence in the sessions can also give them a source of familiarity and motivation to carry on with the counselor.

Conclusion

For better, for worse with your partner means you are with them through every event of joy or incident of sadness, celebrating or supporting them.

Thus, you can support your depressed partner by immersing yourself in learning about depression, engaging in self-care to get the mental fortitude to care for them, involving a professional counselor, making sure not to blame them, and working with them to help them heal.

Resources 

https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-facts-you-should-know-1067617

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-care-in-relationships-creating-me-time-within-we-0512165/amp/

https://www.apa.org/topics/depression/overcoming

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/5-ways-to-offer-support-when-your-spouse-is-depressed/

https://www.verywellmind.com/worst-things-to-say-to-someone-who-is-depressed-1066982

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325523#questions-to-ask-about-symptoms

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

When should I consider going to therapy?

If you're struggling with abandonment issues, it may be helpful to seek professional support. Consider consulting a mental health professional if your feelings of fear or insecurity are impacting your relationships or daily functioning. No matter what, it's important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength. Taking this step can be an important part of overcoming abandonment issues and improving overall well-being.

How do I make my spouse feel special over text?

Here are some ideas:

  • Send a sweet and heartfelt message in the middle of the day
  • Tell them how much you love and appreciate them
  • Send a cute photo with a loving message attached
  • Plan a surprise for later in the day or week
  • What are some thoughtful things to do for your spouse?

Some thoughtful things you can do for your spouse are:

  • Write them a heartfelt letter expressing your love and appreciation for them
  • Make them breakfast in bed
  • Plan a surprise weekend getaway
  • Do something that they've been wanting to do but haven't had the time for
  • What are some romantic things to do for your spouse?

Is the information shared in couples counseling kept confidential?

Yes, therapists are bound by ethical guidelines and legal requirements to maintain client confidentiality. This means that the information shared during your couples counseling sessions will not be disclosed to anyone without your written consent, except in cases where there is a risk of harm to yourself or others, or when required by law. It is essential to discuss any concerns about confidentiality with your therapist at the beginning of therapy to ensure a safe and trusting therapeutic environment.

How can I identify if I am experiencing relationship insecurity?

The key signs of relationship insecurity include feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, low self-esteem, difficulty trusting your partner, fear of rejection or abandonment, and anxious thoughts. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it may be beneficial for you to seek professional help.

What are abandonment issues?

Abandonment issues refer to a set of emotional struggles that can result from experiences of rejection, neglect, or loss in childhood or adulthood. People with abandonment issues may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, experience intense fear of abandonment, and struggle with self-esteem.

How can I access marriage counseling through Tricare?

To get started, locate a certified marriage and family therapist who is covered by Tricare using their "Find a Doctor" tool.

After you've found a suitable therapist, schedule an initial evaluation. If the therapist determines that marriage counseling is necessary for treating a diagnosed mental health condition, they will submit a request for approval to Tricare.