How to Rebuild Trust in a Marriage

Relationships can be complicated, but the one thing you have to remember is that your spouse will always love you. ..

Marriage
May 23, 2025

Relationships can be complicated, but the one thing you have to remember is that your spouse will always love you.

You just need to show them that you are worth it by working on rebuilding trust.

A relationship needs trust in order for it to grow and thrive.

Trusting someone means believing they will do what they say they'll do, be honest, and not hurt you.

It can be difficult to trust again after your trust has been betrayed.

If you're ready to work on rebuilding trust in your marriage, here are some tips.

Understand Why Trust Was Broken in the First Place

Trust is an essential ingredient in any marriage, but it can be delicate and easily broken.

If you suspect that your spouse has been untrustworthy, it's important to take the time to understand why trust was broken in the first place.

Only then can you start to rebuild the trust that has been lost.

There are many reasons why a trust may have been broken in your marriage, but some of the most common include cheating, lying, or hiding information from one another.

If you can identify the reason why trust was broken, you can start to put steps in place to prevent it from happening again.

Only then will you be able to start rebuilding the trust that is essential for a happy and healthy marriage.

scrabble tiles with trust written on them

Talk About What Happened and How You Feel About it

It's important to talk about what happened and how you feel about it if you want to start rebuilding trust.

This can help the other person understand your perspective and begin to repair the damage that's been done.

Some of the things that you can say during this are:

  • "I feel betrayed because _____ happened. I need you to know that it hurt me deeply."
  • "I'm willing to work on rebuilding trust, but I need to know that it won't happen again. Can you tell me what you'll do differently next time?"
  • "I understand why you did what you did, but I need some time to heal. I hope you understand."

It's also important to listen to your spouse during this conversation. They may have their own things that they need to say about the situation. Listening and being understanding will go a long way in rebuilding trust.

Trust is essential in any relationship, so it's worth taking the time to work on rebuilding it.

You'll need to be patient and understanding, but with time and effort, you can get your relationship back on track.

Don't Blame Each Other, But Take Responsibility for Your Actions

One way to start rebuilding trust is by taking responsibility for your actions.

This means not blaming your partner for your mistakes, but owning up to them and apologizing.

Some effective ways you can phrase your apology are:

  • "I'm sorry for what I did. It was wrong and I'll try to make it right."
  • "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."
  • "Please forgive me. I promise to do better."

It also means being honest about your thoughts and feelings, even when it's difficult.

When both partners are willing to take responsibility for their actions, it can help rebuild the trust that was lost and create a stronger marriage.

Show That You're Willing to Change and Be a Better Partner

One key way to begin rebuilding trust in a marriage is by demonstrating a willingness to change and be a better partner.

Often, when couples experience difficulties, it can be tempting to point the finger of blame at the other person.

However, this only leads to further resentment and distance.

Instead, try to take a step back and look at your role in the situation.

  • What could you have done differently?
  • What can you do in the future to improve things?

By taking responsibility for your actions and showing that you're willing to change, you can send a powerful message of forgiveness and reconciliation.

This can help to begin rebuilding the trust that has been lost.

a person holding a notebook saying love and respect

Be Patient. Take Small Steps. Set Boundaries.

It takes time to rebuild trust.

There is no quick fix. It will take patience, understanding, and a lot of hard work.

But it is possible to get your relationship back on track.

Start by taking small steps.

Forgive each other for past mistakes and strive to be better partners moving forward.

Set boundaries to help prevent future hurt.

And most importantly, be patient with each other as you work through this difficult time.

Some common boundaries to set are:

  • Communicating more openly and frequently
  • Being more transparent with each other
  • Setting aside time to spend together without distractions

Developing these new habits will take time and effort, but they can help to rebuild trust in a marriage.

If you're willing to put in the effort, you can start to rebuild the trust that's essential for a happy and healthy marriage.

Disclaimer

The information in this blog post is meant for informational purposes only.

Please do not consider it professional medical advice.

If you need help from a licensed professional, please reach out to them.

There are many options online or you can check your local listings.

Conclusion

If you want to rebuild trust in your marriage, it's important to understand why it was broken in the first place.

This will help you avoid making the same mistakes again.

Talk to your spouse about what happened and how it made you feel. It's important to be honest with each other so you can start to move on.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

How can I show appreciation to my spouse when we're going through a rough patch?

It may seem challenging to show appreciation when going through a rough patch, but it's important to make an effort. Start small by expressing appreciation for even small things, and be specific about what you appreciate. This can help to shift the focus from negative to positive.

How can I access marriage counseling through Tricare?

To get started, locate a certified marriage and family therapist who is covered by Tricare using their "Find a Doctor" tool.

After you've found a suitable therapist, schedule an initial evaluation. If the therapist determines that marriage counseling is necessary for treating a diagnosed mental health condition, they will submit a request for approval to Tricare.

Can couples therapy make things worse?

It's possible for therapy to bring up difficult feelings or conflicts. However, this is often part of the process of resolving issues and improving your relationship. It's important to communicate with your therapist if you're finding sessions too difficult.

What are the common outcomes of EFT couples therapy?

Couples who undergo EFT often experience improved emotional connection, reduced conflict, and a stronger secure attachment. The change process promotes healthier interactions and greater satisfaction in the relationship.

What are abandonment issues?

Abandonment issues refer to a set of emotional struggles that can result from experiences of rejection, neglect, or loss in childhood or adulthood. People with abandonment issues may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, experience intense fear of abandonment, and struggle with self-esteem.

How do I make my spouse feel special over text?

Here are some ideas:

  • Send a sweet and heartfelt message in the middle of the day
  • Tell them how much you love and appreciate them
  • Send a cute photo with a loving message attached
  • Plan a surprise for later in the day or week
  • What are some thoughtful things to do for your spouse?

Some thoughtful things you can do for your spouse are:

  • Write them a heartfelt letter expressing your love and appreciation for them
  • Make them breakfast in bed
  • Plan a surprise weekend getaway
  • Do something that they've been wanting to do but haven't had the time for
  • What are some romantic things to do for your spouse?