How to Rebuild Trust in a Marriage

Relationships can be complicated, but the one thing you have to remember is that your spouse will always love you. ..

Marriage
March 21, 2025

Relationships can be complicated, but the one thing you have to remember is that your spouse will always love you.

You just need to show them that you are worth it by working on rebuilding trust.

A relationship needs trust in order for it to grow and thrive.

Trusting someone means believing they will do what they say they'll do, be honest, and not hurt you.

It can be difficult to trust again after your trust has been betrayed.

If you're ready to work on rebuilding trust in your marriage, here are some tips.

Understand Why Trust Was Broken in the First Place

Trust is an essential ingredient in any marriage, but it can be delicate and easily broken.

If you suspect that your spouse has been untrustworthy, it's important to take the time to understand why trust was broken in the first place.

Only then can you start to rebuild the trust that has been lost.

There are many reasons why a trust may have been broken in your marriage, but some of the most common include cheating, lying, or hiding information from one another.

If you can identify the reason why trust was broken, you can start to put steps in place to prevent it from happening again.

Only then will you be able to start rebuilding the trust that is essential for a happy and healthy marriage.

scrabble tiles with trust written on them

Talk About What Happened and How You Feel About it

It's important to talk about what happened and how you feel about it if you want to start rebuilding trust.

This can help the other person understand your perspective and begin to repair the damage that's been done.

Some of the things that you can say during this are:

  • "I feel betrayed because _____ happened. I need you to know that it hurt me deeply."
  • "I'm willing to work on rebuilding trust, but I need to know that it won't happen again. Can you tell me what you'll do differently next time?"
  • "I understand why you did what you did, but I need some time to heal. I hope you understand."

It's also important to listen to your spouse during this conversation. They may have their own things that they need to say about the situation. Listening and being understanding will go a long way in rebuilding trust.

Trust is essential in any relationship, so it's worth taking the time to work on rebuilding it.

You'll need to be patient and understanding, but with time and effort, you can get your relationship back on track.

Don't Blame Each Other, But Take Responsibility for Your Actions

One way to start rebuilding trust is by taking responsibility for your actions.

This means not blaming your partner for your mistakes, but owning up to them and apologizing.

Some effective ways you can phrase your apology are:

  • "I'm sorry for what I did. It was wrong and I'll try to make it right."
  • "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."
  • "Please forgive me. I promise to do better."

It also means being honest about your thoughts and feelings, even when it's difficult.

When both partners are willing to take responsibility for their actions, it can help rebuild the trust that was lost and create a stronger marriage.

Show That You're Willing to Change and Be a Better Partner

One key way to begin rebuilding trust in a marriage is by demonstrating a willingness to change and be a better partner.

Often, when couples experience difficulties, it can be tempting to point the finger of blame at the other person.

However, this only leads to further resentment and distance.

Instead, try to take a step back and look at your role in the situation.

  • What could you have done differently?
  • What can you do in the future to improve things?

By taking responsibility for your actions and showing that you're willing to change, you can send a powerful message of forgiveness and reconciliation.

This can help to begin rebuilding the trust that has been lost.

a person holding a notebook saying love and respect

Be Patient. Take Small Steps. Set Boundaries.

It takes time to rebuild trust.

There is no quick fix. It will take patience, understanding, and a lot of hard work.

But it is possible to get your relationship back on track.

Start by taking small steps.

Forgive each other for past mistakes and strive to be better partners moving forward.

Set boundaries to help prevent future hurt.

And most importantly, be patient with each other as you work through this difficult time.

Some common boundaries to set are:

  • Communicating more openly and frequently
  • Being more transparent with each other
  • Setting aside time to spend together without distractions

Developing these new habits will take time and effort, but they can help to rebuild trust in a marriage.

If you're willing to put in the effort, you can start to rebuild the trust that's essential for a happy and healthy marriage.

Disclaimer

The information in this blog post is meant for informational purposes only.

Please do not consider it professional medical advice.

If you need help from a licensed professional, please reach out to them.

There are many options online or you can check your local listings.

Conclusion

If you want to rebuild trust in your marriage, it's important to understand why it was broken in the first place.

This will help you avoid making the same mistakes again.

Talk to your spouse about what happened and how it made you feel. It's important to be honest with each other so you can start to move on.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

What are the eligibility requirements for accessing marriage counseling through Tricare?

Any active duty, retired, or eligible family member of a military service member who has Tricare coverage can access marriage counseling if it's deemed necessary for treating a diagnosed mental health condition.

How can we tell if couples therapy is working?

Signs that therapy is working can include improved communication, better conflict resolution, and increased relationship satisfaction. However, progress can sometimes be slow and it's important to be patient.

Is everything we discuss in therapy confidential?

Yes, therapists are bound by confidentiality rules, and anything you discuss in therapy is kept private, with a few exceptions related to safety and legal issues.

Does Tricare cover online or telehealth marriage counseling sessions?

Yes, Tricare does cover telehealth services, including mental health counseling sessions conducted over a secure video conference.

How can I improve my communication with my spouse?

In order to improve your communication with your spouse, you need to be open to change.This means being willing to change the way you communicate, as well as the way you think about and handle conflict.It is also important to be patient when communicating with your spouse. This means taking the time to listen to what they have to say and trying to understand their point of view. Lastly, it is important to be respectful when communicating with your spouse. This means using kind words and avoiding put-downs or criticisms. When you are open to change, you can learn new ways of communicating that can improve your marriage.

How can mindfulness help me overcome overthinking?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on what's happening right now. When we're caught up in overthinking, our minds are often stuck ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises can help bring us back into the present moment and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.