How to Overcome Resentment in Marriage

How to Overcome Resentment in Marriage

Resentment is a natural reaction to a perceived injustice. 

It can be fueled by things like an affair, one spouse feeling ignored or unappreciated, or the lack of intimacy in the marriage.

Resentment doesn't just hurt your relationship; it also hurts you.

Resentment leads to anger and bitterness which are both toxic emotions that can damage your physical and mental health.

If you're struggling with resentment, there are steps you can take to overcome it.

Available Marriage/Couples Counselors in Colorado

Gabriel Cruz Rosa, MFTC

I have always felt called to help others...

Aurora, Colorado

(720) 449-4121

Shawna Fishman, LMFT, LAC

Every person is innately whole.

, Colorado

(800) 498-8043

Lori Geissinger, LPCC

Help me, Help you...

Colorado Springs, Colorado

(719) 345-2424

Identify the Source of Your Resentment

To overcome resentment, you first need to identify what is causing it. 

Once you know what the issue is, you can start to address it.

Some common sources of resentment are an affair, feeling unappreciated, or feeling like your needs aren't being met in the marriage.

Talk to your spouse about your feelings.

It's important to communicate with your spouse about how you're feeling. If you're feeling resentful, tell them why.

This will help to start a dialogue about the issue and potentially help to resolve it. 

This is the first step in learning how to overcome resentment in a marriage. 

Take Steps to Fix the Problem That Caused the Resentment

Once you've identified the source of your resentment, you can start to take steps to fix it.

For example, if you're resentful because your needs aren't being met in the marriage, talk to your spouse about what you need and work together to find a solution. 

Some common needs that are needed are more affection, quality time, and communication.

If you're resentful because of an affair, you'll need to work on rebuilding trust. 

This will require time, patience, and effort.

Therapy or working with a professional marriage counselor might be a solution if the resentment is severe. 

This is an important step to consider when learning how to overcome resentment in a marriage.

Resolve Any Issues With Yourself Before Addressing Them in Your Relationship

If you're carrying any resentment from your past, it's important to deal with that before trying to fix the issue in your marriage. 

A list of things that you might be carrying could be unforgiveness, trust issues, or anger.

If you're holding onto any of these things, it will be difficult to work through the resentment in your marriage.

You might need to seek professional help to deal with these issues.

Resentment can be a result of unresolved anger from your childhood or previous relationships.

If this is the case, therapy might be a good option to help you work through those issues. 

Put Things Into Perspective - Remember That Noone is Perfect and That Everyone Makes Mistakes

It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that no one is perfect. This includes you and your spouse.

Some ways to put things into perspective are to think about the good times you've had together, focus on the present, and look toward the future.

If you're feeling resentful, try to put things into perspective. 

What may seem like a big deal to you might not be as big of a deal to your spouse.

And vice versa - what may seem like a small thing to you might be a big deal to your spouse. 

Try to see things from their perspective. 

This is an important step when learning how to overcome resentment in a marriage.

Communicate With Your Spouse - Let Them Know How You're Feeling and What They Can do to Help

If you're feeling resentful, communicate with your spouse about how you're feeling.

Let them know what they can do to help. 

This might be something like giving you more attention or taking on more responsibilities around the house.

Don't expect them to read your mind - tell them explicitly what you need from them.

It's important to remember that your spouse is not a mind reader, and they can't help fix the problem if they don't know what it is.

Instead of bottling up your emotions, try to sit down and have a calm conversation with your partner.

Explain how you're feeling and what they can do to help make the situation better. 

With open communication, you can start to address the underlying issues causing resentment and begin to move forward as a team.

Seek Professional Help if Necessary - Resentment Can be a Sign of Deeper Issues in Your Marriage That Need to be Addressed

If you're feeling resentful towards your spouse, it's important to take a step back and assess the situation.

Resentment is often a sign of deeper issues in a relationship, and it can be difficult to work through these issues on your own.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or stuck, seeking professional help may be the best course of action.

A therapist can help you to communicate more effectively with your spouse and identify the root cause of your resentment.

In some cases, resentment is caused by unresolved childhood trauma or feelings of insecurity.

However, with the help of a therapist, you can learn how to address these issues and build a stronger marriage.

Disclaimer

The content in this article is only meant for informational purposes.

It is not meant to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.

If you need help with your mental health or marriage issues, please seek official medical advice from a licensed professional. 

You can find many resources online, including teletherapy.

You can also check your local listings for a professional near you.

FAQs

What are some signs that I am feeling resentment in my marriage?

If you're feeling resentful towards your spouse, it might be because you feel like you're not being heard or appreciated. 

Other signs of resentment include feeling constantly put upon or taken for granted. If you're feeling any of these things, it's important to communicate with your spouse about how you're feeling.

What are some common causes of resentment in marriage?

There are many common causes of resentment in marriage. 

Some couples feel like they're not being heard or appreciated, while others may feel like they're constantly being put upon or taken for granted.

In some cases, resentment is caused by unresolved childhood trauma or feelings of insecurity.

How can I overcome resentment in my marriage?

If you're feeling resentful towards your spouse, it's important to take a step back and assess the situation. 

Resentment is often a sign of deeper issues in a relationship, and it can be difficult to work through these issues on your own.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or stuck, seeking professional help may be the best course of action. 

A therapist can help you to communicate more effectively with your spouse and identify the root cause of your resentment.

In some cases, resentment is caused by unresolved childhood trauma or feelings of insecurity. 

However, with the help of a therapist, you can learn how to address these issues and build a stronger marriage.

I think my spouse is feeling resentment towards me, what should I do?

If you think your spouse is feeling resentful toward you, the best thing to do is to talk to them about it. 

Try to have a calm conversation and explain how you're feeling and what you think they can do to help make the situation better.

With open communication, you can start to address the underlying issues causing resentment and begin to move forward as a team.

Conclusion

Resentment is a common issue in marriages, but with work and persistence, it can be overcome. 

Consider communicating your thoughts to your partner. 

If needed, seek professional help.

×
Stay Informed

When you subscribe to the blog, we will send you an e-mail when there are new updates on the site so you wouldn't miss them.

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
May 17th, 2022

Cron Job Starts