How to Handle Emotional Neglect in Your Marriage

How to Handle Emotional Neglect in Your Marriage
With life having many ups and downs, it's no surprise that marriage also has its highs and lows.

Among the lows in marriage is emotional neglect, which can cause unfulfillment and dissatisfaction for the affected partner. 

As a forward-thinking partner, you may need to know how to handle emotional neglect in your marriage in case it occurs.

If you notice any emotional neglect in your marriage caused by your partner's disregard for your emotions, you should ensure that you don't play the victim when talking to them about it. 

Instead of blaming them for being emotionally distant, simply share the details of your pain and proffer solutions to the issue.

Also, try to investigate the cause of their emotional distance. 

Being able to pinpoint the moment it started is an excellent pointer toward the type of solution you can use to rectify the situation.

If you can find out the exact trigger for their behavior, you will be able to make plans to modify the trigger directly.

When making plans, ensure that you inform your partner about them. 

You can equally make them understand why you think the plans are the best methods of erasing emotional neglect. 

Your loving partner will surely understand and seek to make you emotionally satisfied.

Be sure to read on to learn how to handle emotional neglect in your marriage:

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Don't Play the Victim 

When your partner has been emotionally distant from you, and you want to handle emotional neglect in your marriage by talking to them, it may be easy to blame them for their failure to give you emotional support.

However, falling into this blame-heaping state is unhealthy for your marriage because it will make your partner defensive rather than accept what you are saying. 

Generally, people want to be the good characters in the world, so you telling them how they did terrible things to you will simply make them want to reject the view you have of them.

Similarly, playing the victim card can lead to damaged trust in your relationship, especially where there is the continued use of the tactic.

If your partner notices that you play the victim regularly to get them to do things for you, they may begin to trust your words less.

Therefore, instead of playing the victim, try to talk to them constructively about the emotional neglect, mention how hurt you are, and suggest ideas to solve it.

Try to Analyze the Cause 

Analyzing the reason for the emotional neglect from your partner can help you deal with it well because it will give you a chance to pinpoint the root of the matter and plan a proper method to resolve the issue together.

If a recent trigger caused it, you can easily handle emotional neglect in your marriage because it would mean it's not their normal behavior.

You simply need to investigate the trigger, which may be work or a new hobby, so you can help your partner create ways to balance the thing with your emotional needs.

In contrast, if there has always been a tinge of emotional neglect or distancing in their behavior that you overlooked, it may be more challenging to handle it. 

Handling it will require an overhaul of their thought processes, but you can succeed by giving them a detailed talk of how great it would be to meet your emotional needs.

When you are analyzing and investigating the cause, ensure that you involve your partner in the process. 

Involving them will enable you to get faster results since they can tell you more about their emotional thought processes than you know.

Plan Activities to Erase the Neglect 

Making a schedule of activities to do together can help you handle emotional neglect in your marriage because it creates evidence of how you want your partner to satisfy your emotional needs.

You can do the planning of the activities alone, but it's best to involve your partner so they can see how much work you are putting into the planning. When they see your efforts, they will know how serious you are and avoid messing it up.

The activities you can include in your plan are swimming in the local pool, working out together, going to an art exhibition together, seeing a blockbuster movie, going to book meets, or learning a new musical instrument.

Whatever activity you plan for, ensure it involves you spending time together and filling the unfilled emotional slots in your heart. 

Seek Counseling 

With counseling, you get an experienced professional who will help you handle emotional neglect in your marriage by using expert techniques to analyze the problem and proffering tested solutions.

The counselor will help you organize the facts concerning emotional neglect in your marriage and investigate its causes. 

As an unbiased professional, if the counselor realizes that you also had some faults, they will let you know and help you learn how to be better.

However, if your partner has all the faults, the counselor will provide you with tips for confronting them and telling them how hurt you are and how much you would love them to become better.

You can choose between individual counseling sessions or a couple's session. 

Usually, having a couple's session is more productive because the counselor will serve as a mediator while the partners solve the issue.

Be Patient 

Patience is a vital virtue in marriage as it enables you to understand that your partner is on a path of growth and to learn how to satisfy your emotional needs.

You can handle emotional neglect in your marriage by exercising patience. 

After you have told your partner how they can satisfy your emotional needs, it's not time to expect an immediate flow of emotional satisfaction.

You should understand that they are trying to move from their inadequacies to be adequate, and this may take a while because they have been used to the past routine. 

Therefore, you should reduce your expectations of how soon they will change.

Similarly, you can practice patience in your daily interactions with other people, so it can be easy for you to be patient with your partner. 

You should also understand that if you force them to meet your emotional needs swiftly, it may end in unfulfillment when you realize they weren't mentally ready for it.


With the human ability to sometimes over-focus on some things while ignoring other things, a partner may forget to cater to their spouse's emotional needs.

If this happens, you can handle emotional neglect in your marriage by not playing the victim when talking to your partner, analyzing the cause of the emotional neglect, planning to erase it, seeking counseling, and being patient with your partner.


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June 3rd, 2023

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