How to Be a Good Companion to Your Spouse

Sometimes people take their spouses for granted. After all, we know them so well and we're used to being around them...

Marriage
March 21, 2025

Sometimes people take their spouses for granted. After all, we know them so well and we're used to being around them. But being a good companion to your spouse is important - it can make or break your relationship. Here are some tips on how to be the best spouse you can be.

Respect your Spouse's Privacy and Personal Space

Respect is a crucial foundation in any lasting relationship, and it works both ways. While being married means you're close, it doesn’t mean invading your spouse's personal space or privacy whenever you feel like it. Everyone, even your spouse, needs time to recharge, so if they want some time alone, it’s not a sign of disinterest—it’s simply a need for space.

However, if your spouse starts consistently withdrawing from the relationship, it may signal something deeper that requires a conversation. Respecting their privacy and giving them personal space is essential for being a supportive and understanding partner.

hands holding each other

Don't Criticize Them in Front of Others

To be a good companion to your spouse, avoid criticizing them in front of others. Public criticism can deeply hurt your spouse’s feelings and make them feel inadequate. Instead, focus on their positive qualities to help build their confidence and make them feel valued. If you need to address something negative, do so privately to avoid making them feel put down in front of others.

Be Supportive and Understanding During Tough Times

Being a good companion to your spouse is truly tested during tough times. When things are going well, it's easy to be supportive, but adversity reveals the depth of your commitment. During these moments, you must be their rock and foundation—someone they can rely on no matter what. Being a good companion means being there for them, offering support and understanding, especially when it's difficult. So, remember, during challenging times, that's when your spouse needs you the most.

Give Them Time to Themselves, Without Feeling Guilty

To be a good companion to your spouse, it's important to give them time for themselves without feeling guilty. Having time apart allows both of you to miss each other and appreciate one another, and it can be used for hobbies, work, or simply taking a break. Feeling guilty about taking time for yourself can lead to resentment and harm the relationship. A healthy relationship requires balancing togetherness and independence, so learning how to respect each other's space is key.

Make Time for Each Other, Even When You're Busy

Being a good companion to your spouse involves making time for each other, even when life gets busy. This might mean setting aside time each week to talk or planning regular date nights. It’s easy to get caught up in daily routines and forget to nurture your relationship, but making time for each other strengthens your bond. By prioritizing time together, you create a more connected and fulfilling relationship. Don’t wait for the perfect moment—make time for each other from the start, and your relationship will thrive.

two people hiking on a hill

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Good communication is essential in any healthy relationship, especially in marriage. When you share your life with someone, it's important to openly express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Without clear and honest communication, misunderstandings can arise, leading to conflicts. To maintain a strong relationship, it's crucial to ensure that you are always communicating effectively with your spouse.

If you're not sure how to do that, here are a few tips:

  • Always be respectful when you're communicating with your spouse. Even if you disagree on something, there's no reason to be disrespectful. Just remember to always communicate with kindness and understanding.
  • Learn to listen as much as you talk. When you're in a conversation with your spouse, really listen to what they're saying. Don't just wait for your turn to talk; try to understand their perspective.
  • Avoid making assumptions. It's easy to assume that we know what our spouses are thinking or feeling, but more often than not, we're wrong. If you find yourself making assumptions, try to check in with your spouse to see

Seek Help if Necessary

If you're having difficulty being a good companion to your spouse, it's important to seek help if necessary. There are plenty of resources available to help you strengthen your relationship. You can talk to a counselor, read books on marriage, and relationship experts, or even go to workshops or retreats.

Disclaimer

The content in this blog post should only be used for informational purposes. This content should not be used as a substitute for medical advice from a licensed professional.

Conclusion

Being a good companion to your spouse takes some effort, but it's worth it. It's important to make time for each other, communicate openly and honestly, and seek help if necessary. If you put in the work, you can have a healthy and happy marriage and a good companion for your partner.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

Are there any out-of-pocket costs for marriage counseling under Tricare?

Out-of-pocket costs can vary depending on the specific Tricare plan. For instance, Tricare Prime has no enrollment fees for active duty service members, but there are copayments for some services. It's recommended to check your specific plan or contact Tricare directly to understand any potential out-of-pocket costs.

How often do we need to go to counseling?

This is something that you'll need to discuss with your counselor. In some cases, weekly sessions may be appropriate. In other cases, you may only need to meet every other week or once a month.

What can happen if we don't seek help for our relationship issues?

Ignoring relationship issues can exacerbate problems and make them more challenging to manage over time. This can result in a negative impact on your emotional well-being, increased conflict, and potential dissolution of the relationship.

What are some common marriage problems?

Some common marriage problems include communication difficulties, financial stress, and infidelity.

Is it possible to overcome abandonment issues completely?

While complete recovery from abandonment issues may not be possible for everyone, it is possible to manage symptoms effectively with the help of professional support, self-care practices, and ongoing personal development. With time and effort, it is possible to build healthier relationships and increase overall well-being.

What can I do if my spouse isn't interested in rekindling the relationship?

While it can be challenging when one partner isn't on board with working on the relationship, it's important to have open and honest communication. Express your feelings and why it's important to you to work on the relationship. It may also be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist to work through any issues or to navigate the situation.