How to Be a Good Companion to Your Spouse

Sometimes people take their spouses for granted. After all, we know them so well and we're used to being around them...

Marriage
May 23, 2025

Sometimes people take their spouses for granted. After all, we know them so well and we're used to being around them. But being a good companion to your spouse is important - it can make or break your relationship. Here are some tips on how to be the best spouse you can be.

Respect your Spouse's Privacy and Personal Space

Respect is a crucial foundation in any lasting relationship, and it works both ways. While being married means you're close, it doesn’t mean invading your spouse's personal space or privacy whenever you feel like it. Everyone, even your spouse, needs time to recharge, so if they want some time alone, it’s not a sign of disinterest—it’s simply a need for space.

However, if your spouse starts consistently withdrawing from the relationship, it may signal something deeper that requires a conversation. Respecting their privacy and giving them personal space is essential for being a supportive and understanding partner.

hands holding each other

Don't Criticize Them in Front of Others

To be a good companion to your spouse, avoid criticizing them in front of others. Public criticism can deeply hurt your spouse’s feelings and make them feel inadequate. Instead, focus on their positive qualities to help build their confidence and make them feel valued. If you need to address something negative, do so privately to avoid making them feel put down in front of others.

Be Supportive and Understanding During Tough Times

Being a good companion to your spouse is truly tested during tough times. When things are going well, it's easy to be supportive, but adversity reveals the depth of your commitment. During these moments, you must be their rock and foundation—someone they can rely on no matter what. Being a good companion means being there for them, offering support and understanding, especially when it's difficult. So, remember, during challenging times, that's when your spouse needs you the most.

Give Them Time to Themselves, Without Feeling Guilty

To be a good companion to your spouse, it's important to give them time for themselves without feeling guilty. Having time apart allows both of you to miss each other and appreciate one another, and it can be used for hobbies, work, or simply taking a break. Feeling guilty about taking time for yourself can lead to resentment and harm the relationship. A healthy relationship requires balancing togetherness and independence, so learning how to respect each other's space is key.

Make Time for Each Other, Even When You're Busy

Being a good companion to your spouse involves making time for each other, even when life gets busy. This might mean setting aside time each week to talk or planning regular date nights. It’s easy to get caught up in daily routines and forget to nurture your relationship, but making time for each other strengthens your bond. By prioritizing time together, you create a more connected and fulfilling relationship. Don’t wait for the perfect moment—make time for each other from the start, and your relationship will thrive.

two people hiking on a hill

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Good communication is essential in any healthy relationship, especially in marriage. When you share your life with someone, it's important to openly express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Without clear and honest communication, misunderstandings can arise, leading to conflicts. To maintain a strong relationship, it's crucial to ensure that you are always communicating effectively with your spouse.

If you're not sure how to do that, here are a few tips:

  • Always be respectful when you're communicating with your spouse. Even if you disagree on something, there's no reason to be disrespectful. Just remember to always communicate with kindness and understanding.
  • Learn to listen as much as you talk. When you're in a conversation with your spouse, really listen to what they're saying. Don't just wait for your turn to talk; try to understand their perspective.
  • Avoid making assumptions. It's easy to assume that we know what our spouses are thinking or feeling, but more often than not, we're wrong. If you find yourself making assumptions, try to check in with your spouse to see

Seek Help if Necessary

If you're having difficulty being a good companion to your spouse, it's important to seek help if necessary. There are plenty of resources available to help you strengthen your relationship. You can talk to a counselor, read books on marriage, and relationship experts, or even go to workshops or retreats.

Disclaimer

The content in this blog post should only be used for informational purposes. This content should not be used as a substitute for medical advice from a licensed professional.

Conclusion

Being a good companion to your spouse takes some effort, but it's worth it. It's important to make time for each other, communicate openly and honestly, and seek help if necessary. If you put in the work, you can have a healthy and happy marriage and a good companion for your partner.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

How can mindfulness help me overcome overthinking?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on what's happening right now. When we're caught up in overthinking, our minds are often stuck ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises can help bring us back into the present moment and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.

Should we do anything between sessions?

It can be beneficial to reflect on what was discussed during sessions and try to implement any strategies or actions suggested by your therapist.

How does interdependence differ from co-dependence?

Interdependence involves a balanced give-and-take dynamic where both partners benefit and grow. In contrast, co-dependence features an imbalanced relationship dynamic, where one partner's needs and behaviors excessively dictate the other's actions, often leading to unhealthy dependency.

How do you rebuild trust in a marriage after betrayal?

The first step is to take responsibility for your actions and apologize. Next, be honest with your thoughts and feelings. Show that you're willing to change and be a better partner. Finally, set some boundaries to help prevent future hurt. Remember to be patient as it takes time to rebuild trust.

How Do I Know if My Husband is Codependent?

There are many different signs of codependency, but some common ones include: feeling responsible for your partner's happiness or well-being, enabling your partner's bad behavior, feeling like you can't function without your partner, and being overly dependent on your partner.

Can couples counseling help if only one partner is willing to participate?

While it is ideal for both partners to actively engage in couples counseling, therapy can still be helpful if only one partner is willing to attend. In such cases, the participating partner can learn valuable skills and strategies to improve communication, manage conflicts, and create a more positive relationship dynamic, which may eventually encourage the other partner to join the process.