How to Advise Your Partner Without Much Hassle

How to Advise Your Partner Without Much Hassle
Noticing your partner in a tough spot can be an easy thing to do because of the ease with which you can identify their emotions.

However, should you try to advise your partner in such an instance, it may be tricky, especially when they don't want advice.

You can give them the advice without much hassle by first clarifying their goals in the current turbulent period. 

Defining their goals will help you calm them down while shifting their focus to solving the problems.

Moreover, you can ask them if they want your advice before you go on to give unwanted advice.

If they want your advice, requesting it will make your advice more valuable since they intend to follow it.

And when you give them your advice, be sure to provide several methods to reach the optimal outcome. 

Since your partner wants the best result, it will be helpful to give them several options so they may pick the most suitable.

If you want to advise your partner without much hassle, be sure to consider this overview:

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Help Them Clarify Their Goals 

Clarifying matters before deliberating on them is vital for outlining how the goals should be achieved. 

Thus, if you want to advise your partner easily, you should help them create a roadmap for the goals after clarifying what they want.

You have to make sure your life is in order before you can clarify their goals easily. 

Generally, it's easier to do something that we are used to.

So, if you are already used to identifying your personal goals, it will be easy to help your partner with theirs.

When you start to help them, be sure to communicate. 

Don't just assume their goals because they told you a summary of what they want; instead, ask them for every tiny detail. 

It will be better to gain specific information from them rather than using the inaccurate information you have put together.

If they forget anything you deem essential, be sure to inform them of the piece of information and give them a final choice about it being included in the clarification. 

In every step, just ensure you carry them along. 

Ask if They Want Your Advice 

Sometimes, you may feel sad about a situation, and when you tell your partner about it, they start giving you advice on making things better. 

Despite the soundness of the advice, you know you don't want it; you only want to be consoled.

Unsurprisingly, this can also happen to your partner. 

Therefore, if you want to advise your partner after they share a problem with you, be sure to calm down and ask if they want your advice.

And when you want to ask, don't seem like you are eager to advise them.

If you do so, it will look like you are trying to advise them to feel good for helping them out. 

So, you should ensure you stay calm and ask them gently.

If they reject your offer to give advice, don't take it personally.

It's not their fault; they simply want emotional support, not advice. 

At the point of rejection, you should hug them and listen to them attentively. 

Give Them Several Options 

Giving excellent advice for solving a problem is great, but before getting to that incredible solution, you may need to pick from different options. 
Hence, if you want to advise your partner and land them a perfect solution, you should bring up multiple possibilities.

A way to do this is to regard the number of ideas as more important than quality. 

Regardless of the belief that the quality of an idea is greater than the number of ideas, getting a perfect solution stems from gathering multiple ones and comparing their pros and cons till the best is selected.

Be sure to be positive throughout your brainstorming session. 

When you think of the solutions, try not to remove anyone yet because your partner may not like them or because they may not work.

Simply include every idea that comes to mind and wait till the analysis stage before you begin to check for their flaws.

Also, try to incorporate unconventional ideas if they come up. 

Many times, unusual ideas have saved the day when conventional ones fail.

So, you may keep such a unique idea in reserve if your best idea fails. 

Analyze the Options With Them 

After brainstorming multiple options, the next step in the advice-giving stage is analyzing the options and picking the best.

To advise your partner effectively, this stage must not be skipped because applying all the options to the problem will be time-consuming and energy-sapping.

To analyze the options adequately, you and your partner must understand the problem well. 

You can tell your partner to repeat the stories surrounding the issue so you can get a clear indication of what the problem is. 

Having a clear indication will help you see the right set of options for the problem.

Once you reduce the options based on their suitability to the problem, you should try to look at other options and their effects on your partner. 

If the option is not something your partner is comfortable with, you should erase it.

Then, consider the restrictions around each remaining option and suggest your partner picks the one with the least conditions. 

Draw Back if They Feel Uncomfortable 

Learning how to pull back if your partner is uncomfortable with a situation is a great skill that can help build peace and make them want to listen to you later. 

Thus, if you want to advise your partner, try to pull back if they are uncomfortable with the advice.

If they become uncomfortable while you are talking to them, be sure to acknowledge and validate their feelings. 

Don't ignore them like they have done something terrible. 

They have done nothing wrong; they only got uncomfortable with getting advice.

Once you validate their feelings, try to find out the exact reason for their discomfort. 

Doing this will help you see where things went wrong, allowing you to rectify the issues.

You should also ensure that you learn from the situation so that it won't happen again. 

If your partner keeps getting uncomfortable when you give advice, they may lose interest in hearing your advice. 


Giving the best piece of advice doesn't come easy. It takes years of experience with different methods of perfecting the process.

If you wish to learn how to advise your partner effectively, you should help them clarify their goals, ask if they want your ideas, give them several options, and analyze the options with them, and drawback if they get uncomfortable.


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June 5th, 2023

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