Do you have consummate love in your marriage? Most everyone is in love or has been in love once before...
Do you have consummate love in your marriage? Most everyone is in love or has been in love once before. One problem, though, is many of us don't know what true love is. Also, there is no actual set-in-stone definition of what love is. However, one psychologist, Robert Sternberg, has a theory about love known as the triangle of love or three components of love. Love can occur in various interpersonal relationships; it is not always associated with sexual experiences and flowers. Let's explore the three facets of love, the additional types you can experience, and what consummate love entails.
According to Sternberg's theory, which states there are three components of love, including:
Intimacy
Intimacy is simply being able to tell each other about your day. Eager to get home and change clothes so you can lay on the couch with your significant other, watch a movie and just "be." Intimacy involves telling the other person about your innermost fears, hopes, or dreams and knowing that they will not judge you but love you no matter what.
Passion
Chemistry, butterflies, and the irresistible urge to be "together" are the sparks of passion. Passion includes physical attraction.You might not be able to shake this person from your mind. However, passion can be fleeting at times. Consider yourself fortunate if you are still passionate about each other years later.
Commitment
Being faithful and not cheating on each other are just two aspects of commitment. When you commit, you are devoted to the other person.It entails having an honest and open relationship with your partner. Another type of commitment is mutual respect for one another.
The three aspects of love interact to varying degrees.
Therefore, any combination of the three characteristics of love is possible.
These combinations represent various love experiences.
According to Steinberg, they are seven different styles of love that include:
If you have experienced consummate love, then you know the highest possible feeling of love that you can ever feel. Because consummate love has all three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment—the most favorable marriages will have all the components of love. So often, though, people only get two of these things right. For example, many couples don't seem to get commitment right.
Or maybe you're committed, but the marriage has no spark left?
If you find someone, though, and you feel all three components of love, you have indeed found something magical and should never let this person go.
Suppose you want to improve the relationship but feel like one element is missing. Then, couples therapy is a great way to determine whether you can save a relationship. Giving and receiving in a marriage involves open communication about needs and wants. Unfortunately, life frequently interferes with relationships—families, careers, hobbies—and couples lose some essential elements of love. However, there is still hope if both parties are willing to work to repair the relationship. Love can always rekindle and bear fruit.
Couples frequently struggle with commitment. We must remember that infidelity is a sign of a deeper issue in the relationship. If there is an affair, therapy is a great tool to help keep the connection alive. You can heal the other aspects that may have contributed to the cheating in the first place by simply talking about it and other related issues with a qualified therapist. Communication is essential in an ideal love relationship. Therapy can also help couples who are having trouble communicating.
A relationship can succeed even if only one aspect of love is present. For example, let's say you have had a friendship with someone for a long time. It's as if the other person is your mirror. They are aware of every important aspect of your life. You may not remain committed to one another and lack passion, but you are always intimate. This type of love still represents deep love.
Another illustration is a young couple who marries while experiencing a fatuous love that is passionate and committed. However, before they genuinely get to know one another, once they are aware of some of their differences, it is challenging to make it work. But they persevere and eventually manage to have all three aspects of love.
Consummate love encompasses every aspect of love: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Of course, there are many different forms of love, but consummate love is the type of love that endures long-term. With it, you can face anything in your marriage together. So, even if you have one aspect of love, if this person is essential to you, it will be worth the work to add other elements of love to the equation.
https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-love-we-experience-2303200
https://www.simplypsychology.org/types-of-love-we-experience.html
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
Many things can damage trust in a relationship. Some common examples include lying, cheating, and hiding information from your partner.
The first step is to take responsibility for your actions and apologize. Next, be honest with your thoughts and feelings. Show that you're willing to change and be a better partner. Finally, set some boundaries to help prevent future hurt. Remember to be patient as it takes time to rebuild trust.
Yes, like any relationship, interdependent ones can face challenges such as power imbalances, external pressures, and conflicts. Addressing these challenges requires open communication, empathy, willingness to compromise, and sometimes seeking external guidance to navigate through difficulties.
If your spouse is resistant to treatment, you might need to get help from a professional. An interventionist can work with you and your family to plan a confrontation that will encourage your spouse to seek help.
Interdependence involves a balanced give-and-take dynamic where both partners benefit and grow. In contrast, co-dependence features an imbalanced relationship dynamic, where one partner's needs and behaviors excessively dictate the other's actions, often leading to unhealthy dependency.
Yes, therapists are bound by confidentiality rules, and anything you discuss in therapy is kept private, with a few exceptions related to safety and legal issues.
