Great Ways to Apologize in Marriage

Great Ways to Apologize in Marriage

As an emotionally mature person, it's expected that you will have different ways to apologize in marriage as a simple "sorry" won't cut it in many situations depending on the severity of what you did wrong to your partner.

After saying "sorry," you can create an action plan that shows your desire to change and become better in the relationship; ensure that you tell your partner about this plan to change so they understand that you are emotionally invested in the relationship.

Similarly, you can share your benign reasons for doing what you did, helping your partner understand that your intentions were not malicious; things just went wrong.

One of the straightforward ways to apologize in marriage is to try to find out the most profound reason why your partner is mad at you because, on the surface level, they may be mad at you for a minor current incident while in actuality, the anger is rooted in a consistent, behavior of yours.

It's equally important that you use the right tone when apologizing to your partner because the right tone can mean all the difference to their hurt feelings; thus, ensure that you are ready to apologize when you talk to them, so you don't make matters worse with an insincere apology.
Contemplate these great ways to apologize in marriage:

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Plan to Change 

Apologizing to your partner for your misdeeds and following it with a commitment to change your actions or behavior is one of the best ways to apologize in marriage as it shows your desire to rebuild the union from the point your behavior placed it.

In your plan to change, ensure you identify the traits that caused you to hurt your partner's feelings and seek ways to eliminate them or prevent their future occurrence so you won't ever hurt your partner with those traits.

Also, try to customize the plan for only you as including your partner in it may annoy them further since it was you that committed a wrong and needs to change for the better; even if you have something crucial you want them to change, ensure you first change before you demand theirs.

You may similarly consider taking advice from other people so they can guide you through your plan and give you pointers and tips to incorporate into your plan for change.

Explain Your Perspective 

When you upset your partner, it's usually not you going out of your way to offend them but a lack of luck with the intended results; therefore, you need to explain this to your partner so their anger may diffuse.

When telling them your perspective, ensure you are mindful of the approach you use so they won't flare up and take your explanation the wrong way hence disrupting one of the ways to apologize in marriage.

Also, try to agree when they are talking to you about what you did wrong so it can be evident that you have realized your wrongs and that explaining your perspective is a means to let them know your true intentions and not a tool of defense.

After telling them your perspective, summarize what both of you have said, especially the positive parts, and thank them for listening to you, helping them understand that your gentle intentions were genuine.

Use the Right Tone

Creating a blissful period after doing something wrong can be done by using the right tone in your apology to your partner, enabling them to see your sincerity and remorse easily.

As one of the proper ways to apologize in marriage, using the right tone in an argument is bound to have your partner listen to you longer and assimilate your words quicker than when you are yelling at them and making matters worse.

When apologizing, consider using the right timbre so that you may convey the proper emotions with your words and not present a cold, forced, or frustrated apology that your partner would not appreciate.

Also, ensure you are conscious of your voice's pitch and modify it so that it won't offend your partner or create an avenue for a new argument; for example, try to make your voice low-pitched so they won't view you as argumentative.

Get to the Matter's Core

Usually, a person may be slightly upset with their partner because of a recent incident, but a more intense display of anger may stem from a more serious behavioral trait of their partner that they don’t want to talk about.

Since getting to the core of the matter is one of the correct ways to apologize in marriage, you may need to use it when your partner is not communicating about the real issue that made them mad at you, and you can start using it by telling your partner what you feel about them keeping their true feelings.

Also, try to be empathetic to know that it's sometimes difficult to share the cause of pain with other people and keep your emotions in check, allowing them to process the thoughts till they are ready to share.

Similarly, giving them time to reflect on their emotions can be a boon because there would be no rushed emotional decision, and they would give an honest report of the matter that caused their anger.

Validate Your Partner’s Feelings 

When your partner says you have wronged them, validate their feelings by listening to them without getting defensive or judging them; instead, give them your rapt attention and make them understand that you are soaking up their every word.

To show you are paying attention to them, consider repeating what they say after each point, clarifying their feelings, cementing their thoughts in your mind, and giving them the chance to say more since they know you are listening.

Also, help them normalize their feelings and let them know many people would feel what they feel if they were in the same situation; your task is to make them feel okay for getting upset since you did something wrong.

If they have calmed down enough to talk calmly, you may introduce physical touch to help them stay calm and understand that you are trying to appease them because you know your faults and their pain.


Accepting your wrongdoings and understanding that a simple "sorry" won't soothe your partner will help you realize that you should try these ways to apologize in marriage: plan to change your behavior, explain your perspective, use the right tone when talking to them, get to the matter's core, and validate your partner's feelings.


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March 30th, 2023

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