Where matters of the heart are concerned, critical thinking barely takes precedence. In any kind of relationship; family, romantic and platonic, it is normal for individuals to become 'too' comfortable with one another.
By being too comfortable, one may start to cross boundaries, and develop certain unpleasant habits, and traits. All these can slowly melt or destroy the bond you and your partner share without anyone noticing until it's too late.
The good thing is if these habits are noticed on time, the damage can be averted before it becomes irreversible. The good thing is that you and your significant other can still go for counseling or couples therapy to fix the relationship.
Anyway, here are some bad habits to look out for.
When you've become used to certain acts that your partner performs for you, you may stop showing appreciation for them. This isn't something that you may do intentionally, so you won't notice when you do it. You may start seeing those acts as normal and start feeling entitled to them. This is what breeds the lack of appreciation.
When your partner notices this, it can make them feel sad and unappreciated. These feelings can slowly give way to anger or resentment.
It is important to seize every opportunity to show your partner how much you appreciate them and everything they do. It'll make them happy to see that their efforts don't go unnoticed.
Sometimes you may become blind-sighted to the things your partner does for you. You begin to focus on what your ex used to do or what other people's partners do for them.
The moment you start comparing your partner to other people, you stop seeing everything good about them. You make yourself unhappy and you make them unhappy. Comparing your partner to other people would make you unsatisfied, you will feel they can never be enough or amount to the standard of those you compare them to.
Repeatedly making your partner the butt of your jokes, especially in the company of friends is a bad habit. You make them feel embarrassed, small, and ridiculous.
If you bring up personal or private information about your partner when other people are there, you are killing your relationship. Because your partner would never be happy about being made a laughing stock. What may seem like harmless fun to you, isn't harmless to them.
Let's be honest, being a little jealous and protective of your partner is normal. But sometimes you can let that jealousy consume you and you start being possessive. You refuse to respect their boundaries or trust them any longer.
You may ask your partner to cut off their friends or people whose relationship makes you jealous. This can lead to an unhealthy obsession over what your partner does, and who they do it with.
You will end up pushing your partner away and sabotaging your relationship.
This has to be the worst habit of all. Because if you tell one lie, you would have to cook up two more to cover up the first. And that is how the cycle begins.
And there's no such thing as a white lie or a half-truth, especially in relationships. You may decide hiding a few details won't hurt them but in reality, it does. Even if your intentions were pure, nothing built on lies or dishonesty lasts.
Some people feel like this is better than being straight-up aggressive. But the two are just as bad. Taking little jabs at your partner for whatever reason won't help the situation.
It is best to speak to your partner directly about any grievances you may have. Being passive-aggressive would make them feel constantly criticized and unworthy.
For people who have OCD, this might be quite difficult. It's just their nature to want things a certain way and when it doesn't happen that way, they can be a little critical.
But if your constant criticism is harming your relationship and partner, it is time to dial it down.
Try to be more understanding and accommodating of your partner's imperfections. So never speak negatively to them, especially about the things they can't change or love. Things like their style of dressing, career, hobbies, etc.
Constantly assess your relationship with your partner to ensure no one feels underappreciated, unloved, or unseen. It makes it easier to see where each person can do better. And know what bad habit they can do away with.
Relationships take work, so don't find it tiring to check in with your partner constantly. Ask them how they feel about certain things you do, and be willing to change.
Also, be willing to bring in a third party who specializes in couples counseling into the relationship when it's clear it could use one.
When you subscribe to the blog, we will send you an e-mail when there are new updates on the site so you wouldn't miss them.
In order to perform this action you have to login