5 Reasons Your Spouse Blames You for Everything

5 Reasons Your Spouse Blames You for Everything

A key determinant of success in a marriage is the ability of each partner to take responsibility for their actions. 

If your spouse blames you for everything, it may be due to several reasons.

For one, your spouse pours all the blame on you because they are not ready to change. 

People have different approaches to change, and your spouse may not be open to change. 

Instead of changing their attitude, they prefer to blame others.

Also, your spouse may not have the confidence or self-esteem to confront their weaknesses and make an adjustment. 

A spouse with low self-esteem would blame others instead of asking for help.

Stress may also be a reason why your spouse shifts most blame to you. 

When a person is stressed, they tend to get angry or frustrated quickly. 

This anger often leads them to blame people around them for everything that goes wrong.

Read on to gain insights into why your spouse blames you for everything:

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They are Not Open to Change 

Change is constant, and responding appropriately to change is an important life skill. 

However, some people react better to change than others. 

If your spouse does not like change, you might experience some challenges. 

One of these challenges is that your spouse blames you for everything when you get into arguments.

People resist change due to different reasons. 

These factors include the kind of change it is, the implications of this change, and the ability to cope with the consequences. 

Also, complacent people may not find it easy to change.

You might complain to your partner about one of their behaviors that you do not like. 

A partner who does not want to change would find reasons to blame you for their bad attitude instead of taking steps to change their behavior.

High resistance to change is why your spouse loves to blame you for everything. 

You might encourage your spouse to have a better attitude to change by gradually easing them through the change process.

They Have a Low Self-esteem 

Self-esteem goes a long way in shaping your relationship with your spouse. 

Self-esteem is vital because your self-esteem determines how you see yourself and the people around you. 

When you are married to someone who has low self-esteem, there is a likelihood that your spouse blames you for everything.

Someone who has low self-esteem may struggle with managing conflicts. 

They will likely take criticism personally or lash out at the slightest inconvenience. 

Their low self-esteem would invariably make them resolve to blame others for everything.

Healthy self-esteem makes it easier for you to have positive and loving relationships with others. 

Also, when you're confident in who you are and what you feel, you tend to express yourself better without fearing being judged. 

Healthy self-esteem helps to strengthen your relationship.

If your spouse loves to blame you at every opportunity, they might be suffering from low self-esteem. 

You can help them improve their self-esteem if you're not pleased with their blame-shifting attitude.

They are Stressed 

Sometimes, life gets stressful for adults. 

When you do not handle stress properly, you might begin to nag at every inconvenience. 

Pressure is one of the reasons your spouse blames you for everything.

Stress might be from work or your relationship. 

For instance, if your spouse's new boss is stressing them, they likely transfer the aggression from work to you. 

Since they cannot precisely blame their boss, they come home and blame you for everything else.

Also, if the relationship stresses your spouse, they might bottle up and make it difficult for you to know what they are going through. 

Bottling up stress makes it difficult for anyone to express themselves. 

Instead of saying their needs, they blame you for not knowing them.

Your stressed partner would likely blame you for everything. 

You might consider talking to them about their stress or de-stressing them to solve the problem.

They are Irresponsible 

It is the nature of some people to avoid responsibilities. 

When your spouse blames you for everything, they most likely do not like to take responsibility for their actions. 

They might also feel they are always right and blame others for every wrong.

A spouse who feels they are the only one putting effort to sustain the relationship would always blame their partner. 

Also, people who avoid taking responsibility do not like to apologize. 

If your spouse does not want to apologize, they would rather blame you for everything.

People avoid responsibilities for many reasons, including trauma, a sense of entitlement, perfectionism, shame, inability to adapt to change, poor communications skills, and many more.

If your partner loves to blame you, it might be due to their irresponsible nature. 

Finding out the cause of their carefree nature is a step closer to solving the problem.

They are Narcissistic 

A narcissist is someone who believes they are better than others. 

Narcissists are usually self-obsessed, and they tend to be very controlling. 

If you marry a narcissist, you might have your spouse blame you for everything.

Narcissists believe they are always right, and you might find yourself always apologizing when you are married to a narcissist. 

Also, narcissists usually have manipulative traits. 

Your narcissistic spouse has a way of subtly threatening and blaming you in your relationship.

You might also start having feelings of inadequacy.

A narcissist tends to water down your achievements. 

They also find ways to blame you for their inadequacies

Narcissists believe no one is equal to them, and every evil thing in their lives happens because of someone else.

If you are married to a narcissist, you might never get an apology throughout your marriage.


It can get exhausting in marriage when you take the blame for everything that goes wrong.

You might also wonder why your spouse blames you for everything.

Some reasons your spouse always blames you are because they are not ready to change, have low self-esteem, are stressed, are irresponsible, or are narcissistic.


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May 25th, 2024

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