5 Reasons to Use Therapy in Marriage

5 Reasons to Use Therapy in Marriage

Many couples experience conflict about money, work, and children, which may lead to resentment and unhealthy feelings, causing couples to use therapy in marriage to help them create communication tools for resolving their issues.

A good reason to seek marriage therapy is the presence of repetitive unproductive arguments that only continue to divide you and create negativity, instead of getting to the root of any matter and solving it.

Financial friction may also be another factor for marriage therapy because there may be overwhelming frustration from disagreements over the amount of money being contributed by a partner, how to spend, how to save, and what investment plans to own.

You may also use therapy in marriage to rekindle the emotional connection that has been lost in the marriage due to you growing apart, likely because of busy schedules, the lack of interest in each other's hobbies, or the replacement of a partner with something else.

Similarly, the infidelity of a partner in a marriage may necessitate marriage therapy to help deal with the cheating partner's promiscuous thoughts, pacify the faithful partner, and create a roadmap to getting the marriage back together.

There are various reasons to use therapy in a marriage:

Available Marriage/Couples Counselors in Colorado

Regular Unproductive Arguments 

Regular arguments may require a couple to use therapy in a marriage, especially where these arguments devolve into criticisms of a partner's entire value instead of only talking about their current errors and how to make things better. 

Unproductive arguments also happen where a partner is always defensive about every problem rather than listening attentively to their partner, understanding the issue, analyzing its cause, and seeking ways to remedy the situation. 

Similarly, a scenario where a partner stonewalls the other without replying to their attempts at a conversation is unproductive, as it doesn't give any opportunity to constructively discuss matters and reach comfortable conclusions. 

Furthermore, picking a bad time to discuss problems or individual errors can lead to an unproductive argument because the party that's not mentally ready will not be able to adequately listen and proffer solutions. 

With therapy, you'll learn how to initiate conversations respectfully and end disagreements reasonably, without animosity and resentment brewing. 

Money Clashes 

There may be monetary issues that necessitate a couple to use therapy in marriage to smoothen financial friction; particularly an issue of splitting personal income between one's spending and home maintenance which may cause disagreements because of a disproportionate division of bills. 

Incurring debts may also cause financial friction, especially in states where debts incurred after marriage are deemed to be jointly owed even when the debts were incurred individually. 

Partners with different personalities concerning the spending of money may similarly have money clashes because their personalities range from a saver who is considered risk-averse and miserly, an investor who puts all the money in high-risk investment plans, to a large spender who regularly makes big purchases and even racks up debts. 

Marriage therapy helps to create a level ground for couples to discuss their finances, financial expectations, and obligations, properly organize the financial aspect of the marriage and prevent further money clashes.

Growing Apart

Growing apart after years of sharing a deep emotional bond usually calls for a couple to use therapy in a marriage, as there's no more communication between partners about daily lives, jobs, goals, dreams, and harmless gossip. 

You and your partner are growing apart if both of you don't tolerate each other's thoughts and opinions anymore; resorting to contemptuous looks and replies whenever they voice a different opinion from yours, instead of understanding and respecting the difference. 

A very rigid mindset in all discussions is also a precursor to a marriage falling apart because it means you don't want to concede any ground or display any vulnerability to your partner despite the fact that a simple compromise can help the relationship stay strong. 

When you begin to notice doing the smallest things for your partner takes a lot of effort for you, you should consider marriage therapy as it can help you devise means of rekindling communication in the marriage and prescribe ways to maintain the newly-built connection. 

Infidelity

Generally, infidelity ends marriages as the party that was cheated on can't deal with getting betrayed by their partner, but there can be a continuation of companionship when a couple uses therapy in marriage to diffuse the situation and prescribe ways to move on in love. 

The case of infidelity may be an opportunistic one that occurred despite the love the cheating partner has for their spouse because an easy opportunity presented itself, they had a momentary risk-taking behavior, or there was ingestion of an emotion-altering substance. 

A partner may have also cheated because of a lack of emotional connection in the marriage causing them to have an affair to fill the emotional deficit in their life, without actually intending to leave their spouse for the person they have an affair with. 

Whatever type of infidelity it is, marriage therapy can help understand the reasons for the infidelity, if and how it can be fixed, soothe the pain of the betrayed partner, and guide the marriage on a path to recovery of emotional connection. 

Lackluster Sex Life

A non-existent or dwindling sex life may require a couple to use therapy in a marriage in hopes of re-discovering their sexual spark that may have been lost due to the work stress, general life stress, pregnancy, medication, or sexual incompatibility. 

Stress is a major cause of a lackluster sex life especially when you are under a lot of pressure to deliver at work, make financial contributions at home, and pay back debts, leaving you no time to think of initiating sexual intimacy or responding appropriately to your partner's attempts at intimacy. 

Another cause may be a reduction of self-esteem or self-value causing you not to feel sexy enough for your partner or enough to want sexual intimacy and making you reject their sexual advances because you don't feel as hot as other people. 

Undergoing marital therapy can help you kick-start your barely-kicking sex life by making you come to terms with the most likely reason for the lackluster sex life and how to rectify it.  

Conclusion

Marriages are usually not smooth rides, with occasional periods of roughness that may require a couple to use therapy in marriage to guarantee continued companionship. 

If you have marital issues such as regular unproductive arguments, regular money clashes, decreasing emotional connection, infidelity, and lackluster sex life, you may consider marriage therapy to keep your marriage on the right track. 

Resources 

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/the-6-most-common-mistakes-couples-make-when-fighting-and-how-to-fix-them/amp/

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/pf/09/marriage-killing-money-issues.asp

https://feeds.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/marriage-counseling.html?_amp=true

https://www.brides.com/different-types-of-infidelity

https://www.moshtaellaw.com/thinking-about-divorce-/divorce-early-signs/

https://www.prevention.com/sex/g20432826/why-your-sex-life-is-non-existent/

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October 7th, 2022