5 Big Emotional Needs in a Marriage

5 Big Emotional Needs in a Marriage

Everyone has needs, such as the need to have water, air, and food. 

The word 'need' connotes necessary for survival. 

This word also applies to marriage. 

In any marriage, there are particular emotional needs in a marriage necessary for the marriage itself.

One of the fuels that power your marriage is love. 

Partners need to feel loved in a relationship, or other negative thoughts could follow.

It is noteworthy to remember the kind of person your partner is and how they like to feel loved.

A significant source of comfort in marriage is acceptance. 

The understanding that your partner not only loves you how you are but totally accepts the person you are. 

Fulfilling this need in your partners allows them to be comfortable in their skin.

It is common to hear marriage described as the joining of two individuals into one. 

Even though you don't become really one, it creates a relationship of utmost closeness, a connection. 

You also want to feel connected to your partner. 

This connection implies an alignment with your partner.

You can find out more about the big emotional needs in marriage below:

Marriages & Couples Therapists in Colorado

Melvin Lee, LPCC

Melvin Lee, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Abigail Corless, LPCC

Abigail Corless, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

(719) 345-2424
Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Katie (Kate) Castillo, MS, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

(719) 345-2424
Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Margot Bean, LCSW

Margot Bean, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

(720) 449-4121
Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

(719) 345-2424

The Need to Feel Loved

The need to feel loved is one of the essential things in marriage. 

This is generally the main reason for marriage in the first place. 

Feeling love can also be referred to as affection.

Affection helps you and your partner bond. 

It fills your partner with support and love from you. 

Sometimes, it can be challenging to show affection in marriage.

It might have been a long time since 'I love you' was said or affection was expressly shown.

It is vital to mentally note that affection and love are one of the bedrocks of marriage.

Conscious efforts should be made to show affection because when affection levels change, other issues in the relationship may manifest. 

The need to feel affection from your partner is a big emotional need in marriage.

To satisfy the need for affection, study your partner's unique approach to feeling affection. 

They may prefer little gestures of love or physical intimacy. 

It is vital to the relationship to keep the feeling of love around.

The Need to Feel Accepted 

The feeling of acceptance is yet another human need that most people have. 

One of the places people find this acceptance is in their partner, and it's crucial to maintain this trait even in marriage.

The feeling that regardless of imperfections, flaws, and insecurities, your partner accepts you

Acceptance comes from a place of first understanding your partner before accepting your partner. 

The state of feeling accepted is a part of the emotional needs in a marriage.

It enables your partner to feel comfortable and find a sense of home in your marriage without judgment.

Acceptance fosters unity in the marriage.

It means more than fitting in with your partner; it allows means to bring your partner entirely into your life by involving them in various aspects of your life.

When the emotional need to feel accepted is unfulfilled, it can cause secrets to grow and lies to enter the marriage. 

It will make the marriage an uncomfortable place to be.

The Need to be Valuable 

It is a human trait to want to feel valued generally. 

Generally, it is advisable to derive your sense of value from yourself.

However, it doesn't change the emotional need to feel valued by someone you love, your partner. 

Feeling valued and prioritized is one of the big emotional needs in a marriage.

You and your partner may have contributions you make to yourselves in marriage, such as preparing dinner, paying bills, catering to the children, or even walking the dog.

Beyond these contributions, there exists an emotional need to feel valued for just yourself, asides from the responsibilities your partner performs.

Basic interactions between you and your partner that might seem trivial. 

The quality of being appreciated and loved in such a manner is closer to the sense of value in this sense. 

It is imperative to remember that this emotional need exists in your partner. 

This need to feel valued by you, and it's more important to try to convey how valuable your partner is to you. 

This can be done with compliments or simply by just telling them.

The Need to Feel Safe

A feeling of trust usually accompanies the feeling of being safe.

Your partner has to feel they can trust you with anything before they feel safe.

This feeling of safety may be taken for granted because it is assumed that in marriage, you trust and are safe with your partner.

However, it is wrong to seemingly assume there is trust. 

This is especially dependent on you and your partner.

Each person has a unique history with trust and the feeling of being safe based on their experience.

So it is important for you to understand how your partner feels safe and what you can do to make them feel safe.

The need to feel safe is among the big emotional needs in a marriage because it allows you to free your mind and feelings. 

When your partner feels safe with you, then they can tell you about the secrets they would be unable to tell other people or just able to trust you with anything.

The need to feel safe with your partner is common for most couples.

It enables unity in the marriage so that both partners in a marriage feel safe. 

It is important to ensure that your partner always feels safe with you.

The Need to Feel Connected 

Marriage is an act where two people agree to share their lives with each other. 

It is important to remember that these are still two people. 

It is possible for a couple to lose their connection to each other.

Both partners may have separate interests, but even across different interests, a couple must share a connection with each other. 

When you and your partner do not feel connected to one another, it is difficult to be empathetic toward each other. 

It might seem like two different people merely living together.

The need to feel connected to your partner is one of the big emotional needs in a marriage to sustain the bond between the parties.

It is possible to regain the connection even when the connection suffered at some point.

Spending time with your partner and being curious about their lives is a helpful way to regain this connection. 

When you share your life with someone, it becomes easier for you and your partner, this emotional need to have your own person connected to you is crucial to the success of your marriage.


In marriage, there are several emotional needs that partners need. 

However, some are more crucial than others. 

These are the 5 big emotional needs in marriage which are the need to feel affection from your partner, the need to feel accepted by your partner, the need to feel valued by your partner, the need to feel safe with your partner, and the need to feel connected to your partner.


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July 17th, 2024

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