7 Signs You're in a Toxic Co-Parenting Relationship

7 Signs You're in a Toxic Co-Parenting Relationship

If you're sharing custody of your children with your ex, it's important to have a good co-parenting relationship.

This can be difficult to achieve, but it's worth it for the sake of your kids. Unfortunately, not all co-parenting relationships are healthy.

Some are even toxic.

Here are seven signs that you might be in a toxic co-parenting relationship.

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1). You're Always Arguing

If you and your ex can't seem to get through a conversation without arguing, that's a red flag.

Constant arguing is not only frustrating, but it's also harmful to your children.

They need to feel like they can rely on both of their parents for support, not just one.

Your reactions and behavior must be predictable because children often take their cues from how their parents respond to things.

2). You're Not Talking at All

Another sign of toxic co-parenting is when you're not communicating with your co-parent at all.

This can be just as detrimental to your child as constant arguing, as it can lead to a feeling of isolation and confusion.

If you're not talking to your co-parent, try to find a way to open up the lines of communication so that you can discuss important matters about your child's welfare.

It's important to maintain a good relationship with your co-parent for the sake of your children.

3). You're Always Putting Your Kids in the Middle

If you find yourself constantly talking about your ex to your kids or trying to get them to take sides, that's a sign of a toxic co-parenting relationship.

Your children should not be put in the middle of your disagreements.

They need to feel like they have both of their parent's support, regardless of what's going on between the two of them.

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4). You Badmouth Each Other in Front of the Kids

Being a co-parent is not easy. You have to juggle the needs of your children with the demands of work and your own social life. And on top of that, you have to try to get along with your ex.

It can be tempting to vent about your co-parent in front of your kids, but it's important to resist this urge.

Badmouthing your co-parent in front of your children can damage their relationship with both of you. It can also make them feel caught in the middle and torn between two parents who don't get along.

If you need to vent about your co-parent, do it in private, away from your children. This will help to protect their relationship with both of you.

5). You Try to Control What the Other Parent Does with the Kids When They're With Them

As a co-parent, it's important to remember that you are not in control of what the other parent does with the kids when they are with them.

It can be tempting to try to exert your control by dictating how the other parent should spend their time with the kids, but this will only serve to create conflict.

Instead, focus on creating a parenting plan that outlines each parent's responsibilities and provides flexibility for each parent to make decisions that are in the best interest of their child.

By working together and respecting each other's role as a parent, you can create a cooperative parenting relationship that will benefit your children.

6). You Withhold Information about the Kids from Each Other Out of Spite 

Withhold information about the kids from each other out of spite.

It might seem like a way to get back at your ex, but in reality, it just ends up hurting the kids. They need both parents to be on the same page, and withholding information makes it difficult for them to do that.

It can also create feelings of distrust and resentment between the parents. If you're having trouble communicating with your ex, it's best to seek out help from a professional.

A therapist can help you learn how to communicate more effectively, and they can also provide support for the kids.

Withholding information from your ex is only going to make things harder for everyone involved.

7). You Make Decisions About the Kids Without Consulting Each Other First 

As co-parents, it is important to consult with each other before making decisions about the kids.

This helps to ensure that you are both on the same page and that the children's best interests are always kept in mind.

Of course, there will be times when you need to make quick decisions without consulting each other first.

However, whenever possible, it is always best to err on the side of communication.

By taking the time to talk things through, you can avoid misunderstandings and help to foster a more positive relationship with your co-parent. 

Seek Professional Help if Necessary 

If you find that you are constantly arguing with your co-parent or you are having difficulty communicating, it might be time to seek professional help.

Toxic co-parenting relationships can be harmful to the children involved. If you find yourself in a toxic co-parenting relationship, it's important to seek help from a professional.

A therapist can help you learn how to better communicate with each other and they can also provide support for the kids.

If you're struggling to co-parent effectively, don't be afraid to reach out for help. It can make a world of difference for your family.


It's important to keep track of the signs that you might be involved in a toxic co-parenting situation. If you notice any of the signs, it's important to seek professional help.

Overcomers Counseling can help you to work through the challenges that you're facing in your co-parenting relationship. They offer individual counseling, couples counseling, and family counseling.

If you're interested in learning more about the services, please contact them today.

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March 29th, 2023