Do You Have a Narcissist Looming Over You?

Not all narcissistic abuse in relationships is covert.  Sometimes it’s more overt. This tends to become more prevalent when the narcissist starts to feel as...

Not all narcissistic abuse in relationships is covert.  Sometimes it’s more overt. This tends to become more prevalent when the narcissist starts to feel as though they’re losing control. There are many ways that this occurs.

Are They Always Trying to Control Your Every Move?

One of the main characteristics of narcissistic abuse in relationships is controlling behavior. Initially, they may only want to control your time and attention, but they'll eventually start demanding more from you. They'll insist that you adhere to their likings and get you to only take part in events and activities that are beneficial or pleasing to them. Some of this narcissistic abuse in relationships may occur subtly, but it's persistent. Narcissists will lie, chat, and withhold information to get what they want. For them, control is power.

A hand held out against a forest with a man and a dog inside the hand.

Are They Keeping You Socially Isolated?

Those who engage in narcissistic abuse in relationships attempt to isolate their partner. They don't want them to see their friends and family. This is especially true of anyone who may question how much you've changed since you started your relationship. Typically, this occurs because the narcissist is making themselves your primary focus, which is a precursor of the harsher abuse that's to come. They accomplish this by breaking bonds of trust, speaking poorly of your friends or family, being confrontational, or creating emergencies so you can't make plans with others. This will make you look standoffish towards anyone whom the narcissist deems threatening. When you do eventually leave the relationship, this type of narcissistic abuse in relationships will leave you feeling disoriented about social norms. You won't know how to behave "appropriately" around other people.

Are They Causing Your Friends and Family to Not Trust You?

Once the narcissist in your life starts socially isolating you, you'll feel like you can't trust anyone. This is because they'll lie and manipulate fragile situations to ensure that you trust them more than you trust anyone else. You may rely on them to verify the truth. This gives the narcissist further opportunities to sow seeds of distrust in your mind. Eventually, you'll find that you can't trust anyone but them. You won't even trust your loved ones, authority figures, or professionals whose thoughts and opinions contradict the narcissist.

A face in the dark with a shadow cast over it.

Are They Invading Your Digital Privacy?

Physical isolation isn't the only type of narcissistic abuse in relationships. Many of those who've been in a relationship with a narcissist will tell you they've experienced technological narcissistic abuse in relationships, too. This happens when the narcissist does things like placing restrictions on your use of technological devices, blocking your use of social media, and stealing your passcodes. They may even create a fake profile to interact with you to ensure your complete loyalty to them. Invading your digital privacy in any of these ways or physically isolating you is equally intrusive and damaging.

Are They Censoring Your Every Move?

When you're in a relationship where there's narcissistic abuse in relationships, you'll feel like you're walking on eggshells. You'll become hypervigilant and your thoughts will race because you're constantly trying to determine how the person will react to your every move. These actions become a part of everyday life. Narcissists ingrain a code of conduct in you where censorship is normal. Because of the narcissistic abuse in relationships, you'll think or say things like, "I don't want to say the wrong thing."

"I should ask them what's best."

"I shouldn't get involved."

These statements show how there's a power dynamic in the relationship that's clearly tipped in favor of the narcissist.

Conclusion

Those who are victims of narcissistic abuse in relationships report they can't make decisions on their own. This is especially true regarding physical separation because codependency plays a major role in the control techniques that were mentioned in this article. Unfortunately, this means that when you leave a narcissist, you may not be able to make your own decisions or create your own boundaries. At Overcomers Counseling, we'll work with you to create a healthy future, so when you're ready, get in contact with us.

Resources

Five Types of Physical Abuse Narcissists Use on Spouses (psychcentral.com)

Narcissism: The Term and the Concept - Sydney E. Pulver, 1970 (sagepub.com)

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissistic woman?

Having a relationship with a narcissistic woman can be challenging due to their self-centered behaviors and lack of empathy. However, understanding the nature of the disorder and setting boundaries can help manage the relationship. It's also recommended to seek professional mental health support if needed.

Is narcissism a personality disorder or a mental disorder?

Narcissism is considered a type of personality disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). However, it is also part of the broader category of mental disorders. It's crucial for a mental health professional to diagnose these conditions, as they require specialized knowledge and experience with personality disorders.

What is a narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance and a need for attention and admiration. They may be very charming and charismatic, but they also tend to be manipulative and abusive.

What are some key narcissistic traits that might lead to cheating?

Narcissistic traits that may lead to cheating include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for constant admiration, and poor impulse control. These individuals may feel entitled to pursue other relationships without considering the feelings of their current partner.

Can narcissism be treated?

Yes, narcissism can be treated, often with psychotherapy. The goal is to help individuals with NPD understand their behaviors, develop healthier relationships, and improve their self-esteem.

How can I deal with a cheating narcissist?

Dealing with a cheating narcissist can be challenging due to their manipulation tactics and lack of remorse. It's recommended to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide strategies and tools for managing the relationship and your emotions. They can also help you decide whether it's in your best interest to stay in the relationship or leave.