Even while it's painful for anybody to lose a loved one, the elderly are more vulnerable to the negative effects of bereavement.
Navigating the path of sorrow may be substantially more complicated for grandparents grieving the death of a spouse.
This is because when it comes to support for grief, grandparents are often too preoccupied with "keeping strong" for their loved ones to process their own emotions.
Even if they may like to think of others before themselves, there are ways you can support your grieving grandparent.
By listening attentively to them, for example, you are giving them an outlet to share memories they cherish of their lost loved one.
Some people learn how to cope better from talking about the person they have lost.
If this is their coping mechanism, encourage them to do more talking while you do more listening.
They might be a grandparent, but they are human too.
Be compassionate and encourage them to express themselves how they see fit.
It will aid their recovery process.
Below are more details on how to support your grieving grandparent.
Grant the grieving grandparent the freedom to share their thoughts and emotions without worrying about being judged.
Don't worry about what they say or how loud they cry.
Don't tell them what to do or how they should feel; everyone deals with loss differently, and it's important to respect that.
Remember that your responsibility is to help the mourning grandparent in their journey through grief, not try to try to fix their problem or take away their pain.
Guilt, rage, hopelessness, and dread are all prevalent emotions.
If your loved one is feeling this way, they need to know it's okay.
In the face of such loss, it is only normal and okay to shed tears.
Bottled-up emotions will eventually become too much for them.
You may be feeling inadequate when you can make them feel better, don't feel this way.
You can't make things better for other people by making their problems go away, but you can be there for them when things become tough.
Sending a sympathy card is a kind gesture of support, but there's nothing like handwritten words.
Envision the smile or warmth you can bring to their face by sharing a touching story about your fondest time spent with your deceased grandparent.
Describe the unique features that made this person stand out to you.
Through this, you are appreciating a d celebrating the life of the deceased parent.
These words are a token of your love for your grandparent and will be treasured forever.
If you want to send a personal letter or have a conversation with a grandparent, use the grandparent's name.
It's nice to know that you haven't forgotten about the grandparent's beloved and sadly missed spouse, and hearing their name may be reassuring in times of grief.
Helping begins with just listening.
Having you there in person and wanting to listen without passing judgment is a way to support your grieving grandparent.
Worrying too much about what you'll say is unnecessary.
There may be instances when you feel absolutely helpless since you will not be able to provide assistance.
Listen carefully to the information being communicated by them.
Grandparents who have lost a loved one may often feel compelled to repeat the same tale about the deceased.
Each time you both have these conversations, they realize that it's as though death becomes a little less dreadful.
Be mindful that this reiteration serves a necessary function in the grandparent's recuperative process.
Just listen and try to understand their healing process.
They may be open to communication sometimes, and at other times they may not.
To that end, it's recommended that you embrace 'uncomfortable' silence if that is what they need at that moment.
Being there for them shows how much you care just by being there.
Simply spending time with them demonstrates your love and concern.
Elderly people may need company too.
They may not ask you to show up, but they will be grateful you did.
Keeping them company is another way to support your grieving grandparent.
However, don't make assumptions about them wanting or not wanting company; always ask first.
While keeping them company, consider offering them help with chores around the house.
Such as preparing food, grocery shopping, laundry, and cleaning the house are just some ways of showing you care.
These tasks may be done every other week, once a month, or however convenient for you, depending on your availability and the nature of the work.
Just as with your presence, be ready to support them for as long as they need you.
They may find it more challenging to cope with their spouse's absence on holidays and other major days like their birthday and the anniversary of their death.
The spouse's absence is emphasized by these occurrences.
Moments like this are when they need their loved ones the most because no one would want to be alone on such significant days.
Ensure you recognize and honor their suffering as a normal part of the grieving process.
It's nice to pay a visit, send a message, or even just offer a brief phone call to the grandparents during these times.
Having your continued support is both needed and therapeutic.
Grief is a difficult experience that calls for a lot of strength and determination to keep going.
This may be taxing for grieving grandparents, who may be emotionally and physically drained from coming to terms with the full scope of their loss.
At this point, they would need all the support for the grief they can get.
You can support your grieving grandparent by letting them share their feelings, writing them a note, listening to them, keeping them company, and remembering the holidays and important anniversaries.
https://time.com/5118994/advice-for-helping-grieving-friend/
https://www.hrrv.org/blog/7-ways-to-help-a-parent-who-has-lost-a-spouse/
https://www.weatherlyfuneralhome.com/griefarticle/article/helping16
https://www.bustle.com/articles/96282-10-ways-to-help-your-partner-cope-with-loss
https://www.thezoereport.com/wellness/how-to-support-grieving-partner
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
It is not mandatory that all conversations revolve around the issue causing your grief but our therapists will provide guidance on how best to process the situation. You are in control of how much or little you want to share in a session, but it is important to stay open and honest with your therapist for optimal results.
If you find yourself having difficulty managing daily activities due to lingering feelings associated with grief such as sadness, anger, guilt or numbness; then it might be beneficial for you to seek professional help through our Colorado Springs Grief Counseling services. Our therapists are trained in helping clients identify their needs and goals related to grieving.
Dealing with grief involves allowing yourself to experience grief, seeking support from family members or a mental health professional, and taking care of your physical health. It's also important to remember that everyone grieves differently and there's no "right" way to grieve.
The duration of grief counseling varies for each individual, depending on the severity of their grief and their progress in therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.
There is no "right" or "wrong" answer when it comes to how long grief will last in the elderly. For some people, the grieving process may last for several months or even years. For others, it may come in waves – they may have periods of intense grief followed by periods of relative calm. It's important to remember that everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace.
The stages of grief, according to the Kübler-Ross model, include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it's important to note that not everyone will experience all these stages, or in this order. Grief is a highly individual process.
