Ways to Cope With Guilt After a Miscarriage

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Almost every woman who has had a miscarriage has felt guilt.

It's natural to wonder if you did something wrong or if something could have been done to prevent the loss.

Whether it occurred early in your pregnancy that you didn't know you were pregnant or if it happened just days before your due date, it is a normal reaction.

The unfortunate reality is that there probably wasn't much you could have done.

Nothing can bring back what you have lost, but there are forms of grief support available to you that can aid in your healing and recovery.

One way to cope with guilt after a miscarriage is to give yourself permission to feel and express your emotions.

There is a wide range of feelings after a miscarriage, similar to those after the death of a loved one.

In order to heal, it's important to process these feelings.

Consider memorializing the baby as another way to cope with guilt after a miscarriage.

Appropriate and healthy grieving can include acknowledging pregnancy loss in a way that is meaningful to you.

A healthy recovery from a miscarriage still requires attention to one's own needs, despite the fact that the pregnancy will not continue.

Recovery can be aided by getting plenty of water, eating well, doing some light exercise, and resting.

Learn more details on ways to cope with guilt after a miscarriage. 

Grief & Loss Therapists in Colorado

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

(719) 345-2424
Marie Whatley LPCC

Marie Whatley LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Katherine Miller, LPCC

Katherine Miller, LPCC

(720) 449-4121
Jacquelynne Sils, LPC

Jacquelynne Sils, LPC

(719) 696-3439
Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

(719) 452-4374
Deb Corbitt, LPC

Deb Corbitt, LPC

(719) 345-2424
Paitton Callery, LPC, ATR-P

Paitton Callery, LPC, ATR-P

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Stefanie Kerr, LPCC

Stefanie Kerr, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021
Jackie Erwin, LPC

Jackie Erwin, LPC

(719) 345-2424

Consider Reaching Out To A Mental Health Provider

The loss of an unborn child is devastating.

It may be helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor about the range of feelings and grief that may accompany a miscarriage.

Women who have suffered from depression or anxiety are likely to find it hard to cope with guilt after a miscarriage.

This is why it's important to seek help during times like this.

Check out the mental health coverage provided by your health insurance plan, or look for a service provider who offers more affordable fees.

Furthermore, there are many local and virtual support groups for those who have experienced a similar tragedy.

While you can always count on your loved ones, it can be comforting to speak with people who have been through similar experiences.

Commemorate Your Loss

Whenever a miscarriage occurs, the mother grieves the loss of her unborn child and the possibility of becoming a parent.

Loss is a painful experience but finding a way to remember the one you lost can be therapeutic.

Some women, especially those who have experienced an early miscarriage, may feel as though they have no right to take any action at all.

However, you are free to choose how you wish to honor the memory of your child.

Don't feel obligated to observe a ritual of mourning if you don't want to.

Feelings following a miscarriage are subjective and cannot be judged.

Many parents want to do something special to honor their child's memory or to feel like they've said goodbye to their child in a meaningful way.

The most important thing is figuring out what works for you. 

Acknowledge And Express Your Feelings

Recognizing your own feelings of guilt after a miscarriage is important, whether or not your actions or inactions contributed to the loss.

Realizing that your emotions are just that and not a reflection of your actual guilt can be the first step in overcoming them.

Both you and your partner have been through a traumatic experience and could benefit from finding healthy ways to talk about and express how you both feel.

Perhaps you could also consider expressing to the baby your regrets or feelings.

Intimate talks with other people or internally can often help people feel better.

The practice of writing down one's thoughts and feelings in a diary or journal can be therapeutic for some.

It's important to recognize that everyone's experiences and coping mechanisms will be unique. 

Make A Change

You can and should make adjustments to your life if you believe your actions or inactions contributed to your loss.

If you decide you still wish to expand your family, this period will be a good time to start prioritizing your health.

If you have a chronic health issue, such as high blood pressure or diabetes, it is especially important that you adhere to your doctor's recommendations.

Ensure you work on stopping habits that affect your health, eliminate alcohol, practice stress reduction, and maintain regular medical checkups.

Take Care Of Yourself

It may be difficult, but remember to take care of yourself physically and emotionally as you move through your grief.

After getting the green light from your doctor, make an effort to eat well, drink plenty of water, and get regular exercise.

Think about trying out some new physical activity that either makes you happy or helps you let some pent-up feelings out.

One simple way to help your body and mind is to go for a walk every day.

Take care of your emotional needs as much as your physical ones.

Don't push your emotions down, and ignore them.

Get angry, frustrated, and emotional if you need to.

You shouldn't beat yourself up if you aren't perpetually sad; it is normal.

Also, Indulge in some lightheartedness and happiness without shame.

It's important to Spend more time and energy on yourself during such a hard time.


It may seem at first as though you will never recover emotionally from the loss of your pregnancy.

Feelings of isolation or withdrawal are common after a miscarriage but know that you have support.

Some ways to cope with guilt after a miscarriage include: consider reaching out to a mental health provider, commemorating your loss, acknowledging your feelings, making a change, and taking care of yourself.


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July 17th, 2024

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