Ways to Cope With Guilt After a Miscarriage

Almost every woman who has had a miscarriage has felt guilt.It's natural to wonder if you did something wrong or if something could have been done to...

Grief
June 26, 2025

Almost every woman who has had a miscarriage has felt guilt.

It's natural to wonder if you did something wrong or if something could have been done to prevent the loss.

Whether it occurred early in your pregnancy that you didn't know you were pregnant or if it happened just days before your due date, it is a normal reaction.

The unfortunate reality is that there probably wasn't much you could have done.

Nothing can bring back what you have lost, but there are forms of grief support available to you that can aid in your healing and recovery.

One way to cope with guilt after a miscarriage is to give yourself permission to feel and express your emotions.

There is a wide range of feelings after a miscarriage, similar to those after the death of a loved one.

In order to heal, it's important to process these feelings.

Consider memorializing the baby as another way to cope with guilt after a miscarriage.

Appropriate and healthy grieving can include acknowledging pregnancy loss in a way that is meaningful to you.

A healthy recovery from a miscarriage still requires attention to one's own needs, despite the fact that the pregnancy will not continue.

Recovery can be aided by getting plenty of water, eating well, doing some light exercise, and resting.

Learn more details on ways to cope with guilt after a miscarriage. 

Consider Reaching Out To A Mental Health Provider

The loss of an unborn child is devastating.

It may be helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor about the range of feelings and grief that may accompany a miscarriage.

Women who have suffered from depression or anxiety are likely to find it hard to cope with guilt after a miscarriage.

This is why it's important to seek help during times like this.

Check out the mental health coverage provided by your health insurance plan, or look for a service provider who offers more affordable fees.

Furthermore, there are many local and virtual support groups for those who have experienced a similar tragedy.

While you can always count on your loved ones, it can be comforting to speak with people who have been through similar experiences.

A man kissing his wife

Commemorate Your Loss

Whenever a miscarriage occurs, the mother grieves the loss of her unborn child and the possibility of becoming a parent.

Loss is a painful experience but finding a way to remember the one you lost can be therapeutic.

Some women, especially those who have experienced an early miscarriage, may feel as though they have no right to take any action at all.

However, you are free to choose how you wish to honor the memory of your child.

Don't feel obligated to observe a ritual of mourning if you don't want to.

Feelings following a miscarriage are subjective and cannot be judged.

Many parents want to do something special to honor their child's memory or to feel like they've said goodbye to their child in a meaningful way.

The most important thing is figuring out what works for you. 

A husband holding his wife

Acknowledge And Express Your Feelings

Recognizing your own feelings of guilt after a miscarriage is important, whether or not your actions or inactions contributed to the loss.

Realizing that your emotions are just that and not a reflection of your actual guilt can be the first step in overcoming them.

Both you and your partner have been through a traumatic experience and could benefit from finding healthy ways to talk about and express how you both feel.

Perhaps you could also consider expressing to the baby your regrets or feelings.

Intimate talks with other people or internally can often help people feel better.

The practice of writing down one's thoughts and feelings in a diary or journal can be therapeutic for some.

It's important to recognize that everyone's experiences and coping mechanisms will be unique. 

Make A Change

You can and should make adjustments to your life if you believe your actions or inactions contributed to your loss.

If you decide you still wish to expand your family, this period will be a good time to start prioritizing your health.

If you have a chronic health issue, such as high blood pressure or diabetes, it is especially important that you adhere to your doctor's recommendations.

Ensure you work on stopping habits that affect your health, eliminate alcohol, practice stress reduction, and maintain regular medical checkups.

Take Care Of Yourself

It may be difficult, but remember to take care of yourself physically and emotionally as you move through your grief.

After getting the green light from your doctor, make an effort to eat well, drink plenty of water, and get regular exercise.

Think about trying out some new physical activity that either makes you happy or helps you let some pent-up feelings out.

One simple way to help your body and mind is to go for a walk every day.

Take care of your emotional needs as much as your physical ones.

Don't push your emotions down, and ignore them.

Get angry, frustrated, and emotional if you need to.

You shouldn't beat yourself up if you aren't perpetually sad; it is normal.

Also, Indulge in some lightheartedness and happiness without shame.

It's important to Spend more time and energy on yourself during such a hard time.

Conclusion

It may seem at first as though you will never recover emotionally from the loss of your pregnancy.

Feelings of isolation or withdrawal are common after a miscarriage but know that you have support.

Some ways to cope with guilt after a miscarriage include: consider reaching out to a mental health provider, commemorating your loss, acknowledging your feelings, making a change, and taking care of yourself.

Resources 

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/support-after-miscarriage/your-feelings-and-emotions-after-miscarriage

https://www.geisinger.org/health-and-wellness/wellness-articles/2021/02/16/17/34/4-things-after-a-miscarriage

https://online.nursing.georgetown.edu/blog/emotional-healing-after-miscarriage-guide-women-partners-family-friends/

https://www.self.com/story/why-you-shouldnt-feel-guilty-after-a-miscarriage/amp

https://www.healthline.com/health/coping-with-miscarriage#takeaway

https://www.eehealth.org/blog/2020/10/coping-after-miscarriage/

Author

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions

Questions about Grief

How do I deal with grief?

Dealing with grief involves allowing yourself to experience grief, seeking support from family members or a mental health professional, and taking care of your physical health. It's also important to remember that everyone grieves differently and there's no "right" way to grieve.

The holidays were always my loved one's favorite time of year. What can I do to honor their memory?

There are many ways you can honor your loved one's memory during the holidays. You could decorate in their favorite colors, play their favorite music, make their favorite food, or even just talk about them often throughout the holiday season. You could also create a new tradition in their memory, such as planting a tree or making a donation in their name.

How long does grief counseling typically take?

The duration of grief counseling varies for each individual, depending on the severity of their grief and their progress in therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.

What are some things I should avoid saying to an elderly loved one who is grieving?

There are a few things you should avoid saying to someone who is grieving, as they can come across as insensitive or unhelpful. For example, don't tell them that it's "time to move on" or that they "should be over it by now." It's also best not to make any assumptions about how they're feeling or what they need – instead, ask them directly how you can help.

What are some healthy ways to cope with the pain of a breakup?

There are many healthy ways to cope with the pain of a breakup. Some strategies include engaging in self-care activities, writing in a journal, reaching out to loved ones for support, and reframing your perspective. Additionally, seeking professional help can be an important step toward healing after a breakup.

What are some signs that you're ready to move on?

Some signs that you may be ready to move on include feeling at peace with the breakup, no longer regularly thinking about your ex, and having a renewed sense of optimism. Ultimately, only you can decide when you're ready to start dating again or take other steps toward moving on.

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