How To Support Your Wife After a Miscarriage

Sad Women

The loss of a pregnancy is a difficult time for a couple.

A miscarriage means that your wife is experiencing physical and emotional challenges.

As a husband, watching your wife go through pain when you know that there is nothing you can do, the pain can be heartbreaking.

Although you cannot feel the pain your wife is feeling, you can provide grief support to her.

A major way to support your wife after a miscarriage is to fully communicate with her to understand what she is going through.

You can also support your wife after a miscarriage by creating the space for her to grieve.

Help her with things around the house.

And be patient while she deals with the loss.

You both can attend grief therapy so that you know how to provide her with support better.

Below are ways to support your wife after a miscarriage.

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Communicate With Her

When a miscarriage happens, most times, women isolate themselves from people, including their partner.

During this period, your wife may not know how to ask for help, especially if it's the first time you are both experiencing it.

She may be super quiet or withdrawn so she would need extra coaxing and encouragement from you.

You need to let her know that it is okay for her to discuss her feelings with you.

If you are unsure what to say, you can ask questions such as how I can support you.

Do you need some space, or do you need me to stay here with you?

Do you need us to honor our baby's memory?

Or say things like; I'm here to support you, I'm here for you no matter what, we are in this together, and we will get through this together.

You could also share your feelings with her.

This would help her to know that she is not alone and that she can share her grief and heal from it.

Create Space for Her

While you and your wife are grieving a miscarriage, you need to create a space where your wife can be herself.

She needs to communicate her thoughts and feelings.

You must know that the situation cannot be changed.

You cannot also undo what has been done, so you support your wife after a miscarriage by letting her know that you are a safe space for her to be vulnerable with how she's feeling.

She may be crying a lot, screaming, ranting, and overwhelmed with guilt, but you must let her know you are at her side and will remain there.

This is because often, women feel responsible for the miscarriage and feel like they could have prevented it.

Constantly reassure her that the miscarriage is due to no fault of hers.

You can also create space by actively listening to her needs and being open to whichever healthy way she might need to deal with her grief.

Provide Help

While you ensure she gets all the medical help she needs, you can support your wife after a miscarriage by helping with things around the house.

Due to the pain and sadness, your wife would feel at this point, she may be unable to do even the smallest things.

Things like getting out of bed, eating, and taking a shower can be difficult to do at this time.

Think of helping her with things that would mean so much to her or helping with activities such as cooking or ordering meals, grocery shopping, doing the laundry, running errands, and taking care of the children or pets.

This would help take pressure off her so that she can get some rest and fully recover.

You can also help by setting up the shower or running a bath, massaging her, and encouraging her to do the things she loves and enjoys.

Doing all of these would let her know you love and support her.

Although you wouldn't be able to anticipate all of her needs, you can take a step further by asking her how you can help to make her feel better.

Grief & Loss Therapists in Colorado

Sierra Brown, SWC

Sierra Brown, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Jacquelynne Sils, LPC

Jacquelynne Sils, LPC

(719) 696-3439
Barbra Styles, LPC, LAC

Barbra Styles, LPC, LAC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Susan Taylor, LPCC

Susan Taylor, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

(720) 449-4121
Kelsey Maestas, LPCC

Kelsey Maestas, LPCC

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Amber Chambless, LPC

Amber Chambless, LPC

(720) 449-4121
Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Vanessa Dewitt, LCSW

Vanessa Dewitt, LCSW

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439

Be Patient With Her

There is no timeline for grief, and the premature loss of a child is a difficult thing to handle.

One day, your wife might seem okay, and the next day she's struggling.

Watching your wife go through all this pain and sadness would be very difficult for you.

This might make you feel like you cannot wait for her to get over her grief.

She might be experiencing feelings of sadness, guilt, shame, confusion, isolation, anxiety, or depression.

You need to take steps to let her know that she is loved.

Having you present is a major way to make her feel loved and whole again.

Showing support to your wife after a miscarriage also means you don't rush her grieving process.

Reassure her that everything is going to be okay.

You also need to be extra careful about what you say now.

Statements such as 'we can still have other kids' and 'let's put it past us' are triggering and not helpful.

This is also not one of the situations you can fix.

Therefore, don't try to go around trying to fix the situation, instead, be patient with her.

She needs a listening ear and reassurance of your love most at this time.

Grief Therapy

Miscarriage is an unpleasant experience and has devastating effects on couples.

It leads to physical, emotional, and psychological effects and may affect a couple's relationship.

You can support your wife after a miscarriage by jointly attending grief therapy.

It would help you both to deal with the challenges and effects of the miscarriage.

It would also help you deal with the grief of miscarriage better.

Through grief therapy, you can both show support for one another.

There are support groups that can help you connect with other couples that have gone through the same situation.

Sharing their journey and how they were able to navigate the difficult situation would help you to cope with the loss better.

Encouraging your wife to do all of this would show that she has your love and support.


Miscarriage takes away the joy and excitement couples experience when they are about to have a baby.

You can support your wife after a miscarriage by communicating with her, creating a space for her to grieve, helping her, being patient, and jointly attending grief therapy.


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July 22nd, 2024

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