5 Reasons Why Grieving People Get Angry

5 Reasons Why Grieving People Get Angry

Getting angry is a natural human emotion that almost everyone has dealt with.

In the process of grieving, you might be noticeably angrier.

Seeking support for your grief might suggest you look into why grieving people get angry.

One of the reasons why grieving people get angry is that anger could be a part of their grieving process.

Different people react to grief in different ways; anger is a common stage most people pass through.

It would be essential to channel anger in a controlled manner.

Displacement is a defense mechanism that allows you to transfer your real feelings into something else.

The reason a grieving person gets angry may be that they are displacing their real feelings into anger.

Consider addressing the underlining feelings to resolve the anger.

The reason why grieving people get angry is possible to regain a sense of control of their life.

Death can be a stark reminder of how little control someone has over their life.

Some people respond to this feeling by channeling their fear of lack of control into anger.

You can find out the reasons why grieving people get angry below:

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They're Processing Grief 

Grief can cause strong, intense feelings in people.

Although there are some traits that people dealing with grief could share, most people process grief in peculiar ways.

Most people also have a broad range of emotions they experience during grief.

One of these emotions that you might experience is anger. Being angry is a normal part of the grieving process for most people.

This anger could be directed at particular things or general things like the world or even the reason for grieving.

It is essential to let yourself grieve in your own natural way.

Even if this is through experiencing anger, it might be tempting to block out some perceived negative emotions, such as anger and sadness.

The reason why grieving people get angry could be to process grief.

However, you might lose control of your anger at difficult times.

There are methods to channel your anger.

For instance, you could pick up some exercises that help manage anger safely and safely.

Displacement of Other Feelings 

Displacement of feeling is one of the reasons why grieving people get angry.

Displacement is a way one's mind can protect itself from negative thoughts or emotions. Your anger could be your body's defense mechanism to avoid dealing with your own feelings.

It can be easier to be angry than to feel vulnerable.

Displacement is usually unconscious, so it is difficult for people to become aware of it.

For instance, in dealing with the loss of a loved one could be unable to express their true feelings.

Anger can be an easy target for people to disguise their true feelings.

Consider if you have had any sudden change to your behavior since you started grieving.

Self-reflection will be vital to addressing any displacement.

Sometimes, you might be unable to address the source of your displacement and anger.

If you lose someone dear to you, it is likely impossible to speak to them again. However, it will help your anger figure out how to address your true feelings.

They are in Pain 

One of the emotions that people commonly feel during grief is pain.

The loss of a loved one can cause a person to be in intense pain.

Being in pain is one of the reasons why grieving people get angry.

Naturally, a person in pain is likely to be grumpy and easily frustrated.

You might have noticed that when people grieve, they might be less patient and more likely to respond to simple things with anger.

In this case, you will have to address the underlying pain to manage your anger.

Unfortunately, pain from grief can be difficult to manage.

There is no simple manner for people to get rid of the pain.

Pain is a significant part of grief for most people.

It might be difficult to make rational decisions when you are in pain.

Most people have a natural process of grief.

Blocking your feelings could hurt the grieving process of a person.

It might be easier to concentrate on self-restraint until the pain of losing a loved one declines. 

They are Trying to Regain Control

Death can make a person feel a loss of control over their life.

Based on the course of life, it is easy for a person to assume that they control their lives.

However, losing someone could be the reason why grieving people get angry in their attempts to regain the notion of control of their lives.

Losing something dear to you can be disorienting.

Facing the inability to control certain aspects of life could compensate for the inability. Anger can be a tool that some use to retain control of their life.

Since death can come to anyone at any time, death can shake the sense of control people have.

Death can suddenly remind people how little control we have in the grand scheme.

In processing the shock of death, some people attempt to control their lives even more.

The feeling of seeking control through anger is understandable.

Rather than facing the fear that comes from acknowledging the real control a person has, some people choose to rely on anger to deal with the feeling.

However, anger does not mean a person has more control over their life.

They Feel Abandoned 

A big part of being human is forming intimate relationships.

The loss of any relationship can be challenging to manage.

In the case of death, the relationship could change abruptly and drastically.

The death of a loved one will likely change your life.

The extent of your closeness with your lost loved one can be hard to deal with.

For instance, the death of a parent or a wife can be a significant gap in your life.

This can create feelings of abandonment in some people.

This does not necessarily mean a person is angry at their loved one.

Instead, the focus here is on feeling alone due to the absence of the loved one.

The absence of your loved one can lead to other feelings associated with abandonment.

A grieving person might have lost their confidante and advisor.

This is one of the reasons why grieving people get angry. 


Grief processing can be a challenging phase of life for most people.

A common response people have in grief is anger.

To understand how to provide grief support, it is worth studying why grieving people get angry, which includes processing grief, displacement of other feelings, being in pain, trying to regain control, and feeling abandoned.


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July 22nd, 2024

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