Ways to Maintain a Healthy Marriage After a New Baby

The few months after a baby’s arrival can be overwhelming with all the child-rearing duties, leaving you little time to spend with your partner and making you begin to consider if there are ways to maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby. 

A simple yet effective way is to appreciate the small gestures of care that your partner does, whether it’s taking the other kids out so you can get alone time or getting up in the middle of the night to rock the crying baby so you may get more sleep.

Maintaining your personal mental health can help you maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby; therefore, you should not shy away from asking family and friends for occasional help if they have the time, so you may rest and have some alone time with your partner.

Similarly, endeavor to understand your partner's shortcomings in taking care of the new baby, remembering that everyone has a different learning curve, and your partner is also trying their best.

You can also consider creating some time to talk about other events in your lives that are not the baby; you can talk about the hobbies you miss doing, your jobs, how you are generally feeling, and what the future offers.

Practicing these ways can help you maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby:

Appreciate Your Partner

It's essential to show gratitude to your partner for the little things they do around the house for you and the kids, ensuring that they feel appreciated for their efforts, and helping you maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby.

A little note of appreciation can go a long way in making your partner feel good about the effects of their efforts; thus, you can put one in an easily accessible place for them, such as their glove compartment, suitcase, pocket, bathroom mirror, or on their favorite chair.

Another means of showing them gratitude is allowing them to take a few hours off from the hustle and bustle of the family, ensuring that they get the needed time to take a break and take care of themselves.

You can also whip up a meal you know they love or a recipe they have been trying to create, thanking them with the meal and other embellishments like candles, music, and wine.

Ask Family and Friends for Help 

Asking for help can help you maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby because you can't do everything alone, from shuttling kids from one event to the next, taking care of the kids while going for an appointment, and cleaning the house, to grocery shopping. 

You have to put aside every unreasonable expectation of yourself to do all the tasks, remembering to put aside your ego and realize your mortal limits bind you to do so much before you require other pairs of hands for the best results. 

Before you ask for help, you should consider the most dependable persons, especially if you have a large community of friends to pick from; and when you have a few choices, you may consider joining a pool of supportive parents in your community. 

You should note that there's a significant chance your request for help may be declined; thus, be prepared for the discomfort that may engulf you and understand that they didn't reject you because they are bad persons, but because they are also busy with events in their lives. 

Criticize Your Partner Less

Constructively criticizing your partner may help them realize some errors in their parenting habits and change their ways, but when you criticize them too often, there will be a loss of connection, and you may require a rethink of your strategy to maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby. 

If you routinely criticize their actions, they may begin to hide these activities and other things from you; they may take parenting courses or buy new baby products without your knowledge because they know you'll see faults in everything. 

The constant criticism may similarly lead to pent-up resentment in your partner, with them silently resenting you for the constant feeling of inadequacy and incompetence you put them through because you couldn't give them the space to learn from their mistakes. 

Instead of creating an unhealthy marriage, you can criticize them lovingly by choosing a good time to initiate the discussion, appreciating them for their efforts, and making the conversation dialogue to allow them to air their views. 

Maintain Intimacy 

The period after the birth of a child may lead to a decline in intimacy due to the introduction of new life demands, and this may necessitate an intentional re-adoption of intimacy to maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby. 

It's essential that you have a conversation about the troubles preventing you from being intimate with them, ensuring to explain that it's nothing personal against them and it would eventually cease when your demands reduce. 

Despite the conversation, you shouldn't starve them of intimacy; you can initiate emotional and physical intimacy without sexual intimacy by engaging in joint showers, massage, and cuddling, allowing for an opportunity to grow into sexual intimacy. 

Given that you both understand the current constraints on your sexual intimacy, you may keep the sexual spark up by making plans on what to do when you have the opportunity and talking about your dreams to enable your partner to fall in love with your vulnerability. 

Create Alone Time 

Creating alone time to spend with your partner can help you maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby because it will grant you the opportunity to continue the intimate and emotional journey you had before the baby came along. 

You may organize a date night to get away from the hassle of caring for kids and dealing with other family matters, getting someone to babysit for you while you and your partner get some outdoor meals, walks, or go to the movies. 

Even if you don't have the time to go out when the sun goes down, you can get creative and do some activities together, like cooking, baking, getting lunch, and watching street performances. 

Another activity you can do in your time with your partner is to play games like board games, indoor darts, crossword puzzles, or card games, allowing you to feel some real excitement and create shared positive emotions.  

Conclusion

New births are accompanied by additional routines and procedures to an already busy life, requiring you to be intentional to maintain a healthy marriage after a new baby. 

The habits you can practice to maintain a great emotional connection with your partner include appreciating them, asking friends and family for necessary help, criticizing your partner less, maintaining intimacy with them, and creating alone time to spend with them. 

Resources 

https://www.symbis.com/blog/10-ways-show-gratitude-spouse/

https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-ask-for-help-with-childcare-4845829

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/you-are-always-criticizing-your-partner-read-this.html

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/sex-after-childbirth/6-tips-help-your-marriage-survive-new-baby

https://www.helpinghandsdoula.com/5-steps-to-maintain-intimacy-after-birth/

https://www.babycenter.com/family/relationships/9-ways-to-make-time-for-your-partner-after-the-baby-arrives_365