Techniques to Successfully Manage Your Anger in Your Marriage

Techniques to Successfully Manage Your Anger in Your Marriage
Getting angry with your partner after a painful incident is a reasonable reaction to their wrongdoing. 

But, such anger may become unreasonable when you allow it to control your actions and words. 

Thus, you need to learn techniques to successfully manage your anger in your marriage so you don't shut your partner out.

Whenever you get annoyed at their wrong acts, it's crucial that you maintain a silent mode of calmness before you utter any word. 

This ensures that you can get cool and expel some of the anger from your body before addressing your partner.

Also, you can engage in exercise as a form of anger release to make sure you have no anger left in you.

During exercise, you can transfer all your anger to the equipment and regimens, leaving you mentally exhausted and with no energy for further outrage.

You should also ensure you think of solutions for the current problem so you won't have the cause to continue being angry.

Talk to your partner about the solutions you have thought of and work with them to solve them.

Be sure to read on to discover techniques to manage your anger in your marriage successfully:

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Be Calm Before You Speak 

Thinking before speaking is a skill we all believe we have until we get angry. 

Generally, anger brings out the worst in us because it involves a direct negative feeling toward another entity.

If you want to learn to manage your anger in your marriage, you have to know how to keep calm before speaking.

When you think calmly while angry before saying any word, you can create constructive sentences rather than lashing out at your partner. Being constructive with your words shows the kind of person you are. 

When angry, the more peaceful your words are, the more your partner will appreciate you.

Also, you should understand that your words are powerful. 

Whatever you tell your partner, even when angry, will be recorded. 

If you insult them and call them demeaning names, they will never forget, so be careful how you use words.

And when you say those terrible things to them, you may not mean them. 

But because of your body's tension while angry, they will surely interpret your words as true. 

Therefore, you should be calm before talking to avoid wrong assumptions.

Get Some Exercise 

The benefits of exercise don't stop at increasing muscle mass, reducing body fat, and getting general body fitness.

It also extends to the protection of mental health, and one such mental benefit is providing an outlet for anger.

You can use exercise to manage your anger in your marriage by engaging in various workouts.

If you have a wave of deep anger that you need to release explosively, you can engage in boxing as a means of exercise. 

Boxing helps you punch things and let off some heat.

In contrast, you may desire to process your emotions while exercising calmly.

This will help you take things slow while performing a mentally-boosting activity.

Hence, you can engage in weight lifting or yoga as your major workouts.

By the time you start sweating heavily and trying to understand the various movements involved in the exercises, you will have forgotten your anger. 

At the end of your exercise session, you will also feel a lot of mental satisfaction, enabling you to be entirely separated from the anger.

Think of Solutions 

If you are serious about tackling your anger issues, you can manage your anger in your marriage by diverting your time to thinking about possible ways you can avoid getting angry every time.

It's important to check yourself for your anger because it may not necessarily be your partner's fault that your irritation is so severe. 

Your anger may result from pent-up stress and other factors that arise in different spheres of your life.

When you realize your faults, you should think of ways to change and become a better person. 

You should think of the benefits of being a great companion to your partner and use that to motivate your self-development.

You can also think of engaging in relaxation techniques to help the anger dissipate. 

Relaxation techniques are generally easy to deal with at home; therefore, it should not be hard for you to research and start doing them.

Avoid Blaming Your Partner 

Even if your partner has caused you pain, you can still try to show them love in the way you tell them about it. 

When talking to them, avoid creating a shouting or blaming scenario where you just heap the cause of your pain on them without a filter.

Therefore, you can manage your anger in your marriage by telling your partner what you feel rather than what they have done to you.

Focusing on how they did terrible things to you can make them defensive, making sure there is no resolution to your anger.

Make sure to consider their perspective when thinking of what they did to you. 

This will help you understand their views and stop you from blaming them for their harmless intentions that turned sour.

Always remember that your anger is for you to deal with, and attacking your partner negatively with it will only serve to fracture your marriage.

Seek Professional Help 

Going for anger therapy sessions is arguably the most effective method of dealing with anger as it involves helping you identify the triggers of the anger and learning to prevent them in the future.

A type of therapy that incorporates this style is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which involves the counselor outlining methods for you to control your anger in the future.

The counselor will also create reasonable goals with measurable steps to follow to reach the goals.

You can also opt for psychodynamic therapy, which involves self-reflection on your anger.

The counselor will help you go deep into yourself to find the things causing you to get angry.

Similarly, you may try group therapy. 

It usually works by putting multiple people with similar issues in a group and having them help each other solve their problems. 


Learning how to manage your anger in your marriage is essential to prevent any damage anger can cause to the relationship.

You can manage the anger well by getting calm before speaking, getting some exercise, thinking of solutions to the anger, ensuring you don't blame your partner, and seeking professional help. 

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June 3rd, 2023

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