How to Fall in Love with Your Spouse Again

a couple walking on a sidewalk

Falling in love with your spouse again can seem like a challenging task, especially after years of being together.

However, it's not impossible.

It's important to connect with your spouse and it can take work sometimes. 

With some effort and commitment, you can rekindle your love and build a stronger relationship with your partner.

Here are some ways to fall in love with your spouse again.

Marriages & Couples Therapists in Colorado

Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

(720) 449-4121
Melvin Lee, LPCC

Melvin Lee, LPCC

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Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

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Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

Melanie Klinke, MA, MFTC, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
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Abigail Corless, LPCC

Abigail Corless, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Margot Bean, LCSW

Margot Bean, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

Olivia Woodring, LPCC, NCC

(719) 345-2424

Communicate Openly and Honestly

One of the keys to any successful relationship is open and honest communication.

Take the time to express your feelings to your partner, both positive and negative.

Focus on using "I" statements and avoiding blame or criticism.

Listen to your partner's thoughts and feelings with an open mind and without judgment.

Spend Quality Time Together

Life can get busy, especially if you have children, work, or other obligations.

However, it's important to prioritize quality time with your spouse. Plan activities that you both enjoy, such as a date night or a weekend getaway.

Even small moments of connection throughout the day, like taking a walk together or cooking dinner together, can help strengthen your relationship.

Find and Celebrate Each Other's Love Language

Gary Chapman's book, "The 5 Love Languages," explains how different people express and receive love in different ways.

Take the time to understand your partner's love language and find ways to express love in a way that resonates with them.

This could be through words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or receiving gifts.

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Show Appreciation and Gratitude

Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner can go a long way in making them feel valued and loved.

Take time to acknowledge the things your partner does for you, whether it's making dinner, cleaning the house, or simply being there for you when you need them.

A small note, kind word, or thoughtful gesture can make all the difference.

Another love language from the book talks about gifts.

You should show your spouse that you appreciate them by giving gifts.

You can give a thoughtful gift like a special book they've been wanting, or something simple like flowers to brighten their day. 

Keep Things Fun and Spontaneous

Try new things together and keep things fresh and exciting.

This could be trying a new hobby, taking a class together, or going on an adventure.

Be spontaneous and open to new experiences.

Keeping things fun and lighthearted can help to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

FAQs about Falling Back in Love with Your Spouse

Here are some frequently asked questions that may provide some guidance.

Is it normal to fall out of love with your spouse?

It's normal for feelings to change over time. Relationships go through ups and downs, and it's common for feelings of love and passion to fluctuate.

Can love be rekindled in a marriage?

Yes, love can be rekindled in a marriage. It takes effort and commitment, but it's not impossible. 

By prioritizing communication, quality time, and showing appreciation and gratitude, it is possible to reignite the spark in your marriage.

What can I do if my spouse isn't interested in rekindling the relationship?

While it can be challenging when one partner isn't on board with working on the relationship, it's important to have open and honest communication. 

Express your feelings and why it's important to you to work on the relationship. 

It may also be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist to work through any issues or to navigate the situation.

How can I find my love language?

There are many resources available online, including quizzes and assessments, that can help you find your love language. 

Gary Chapman's book, "The 5 Love Languages," is also a great resource to help you identify and understand your love language.

How can I make quality time for my spouse if we have busy schedules?

Prioritizing quality time together can be challenging with busy schedules, but it's important to make it a priority. 

Schedule date nights or make the most of the time you do have together, such as during meals or by planning activities that are quick and easy to do.

How can I show appreciation to my spouse when we're going through a rough patch?

It may seem challenging to show appreciation when going through a rough patch, but it's important to make an effort. 

Start small by expressing appreciation for even small things, and be specific about what you appreciate. 

This can help to shift the focus from negative to positive.

How can we keep things fun and spontaneous in our marriage?

Be open to trying new things and be spontaneous in your everyday life. 

Plan dates or activities that are out of the norm, even if they are simple. 

Keep things light and don't be afraid to be silly or playful.


The information provided in this blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Falling back in love with your spouse requires sensitivity and understanding, and it's important to recognize that everyone's situation is unique. While the tips provided in this post may be useful for some, they may not be appropriate for everyone.

If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, we strongly recommend seeking the guidance of a qualified relationship therapist or counselor. They can provide personalized advice and support based on your unique circumstances.

Remember that prioritizing the health of your relationship is a brave and important decision, and there is no shame in seeking professional help if you need it.


Falling in love with your spouse again takes commitment and effort, but it's worth it.

Remember to communicate openly and honestly, spend quality time together, find and celebrate each other's love language, show appreciation and gratitude, and keep things fun and spontaneous.

By following these tips, you can reignite the love and passion in your relationship and build a stronger foundation for the future.

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July 18th, 2024

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