Ways to Help Your Child Cope With a Divorce
A meaningful way to help is to tell them the truth about the divorce rather than keeping it from them because you fear them getting hurt, so they may grieve, come to terms with it, and begin to cope with it.
When you tell them the fact without sugarcoating, it's expected that they will have negative feelings about the situation, and you should let them express these feelings without reservation; for example when they tell you how sad they are that you and your partner can't come together for their games, listen to them and validate those feelings.
To help your child heal faster, it's crucial to involve other people in their recovery process, as the addition of reliable family members, caring friends, and role models can help your child to develop a sense of community and acquire love from other people.
Similarly, ensure that you don't fight in their presence as this can cause them to grow bitter at you, hate the concept of marriage, develop a lack of respect towards the other gender, and suffer bullying at school when they accidentally slip about a lie.
You can contemplate these ways to help your child cope with a divorce.
Tell Your Child The Truth
As much as you fear that your child may be overwhelmed by the truth, it's still important to tell them the truth so it can help your child cope with a divorce.
When you want to tell them, ensure it's after the divorce process has been finalized and not when it's still being considered, and also ensure you will be with them after telling them, to console them with words and hugs.
If possible, try to tell your child with your partner to avoid confusion and allow your child to hear a mutual agreement to separate, which will ensure that the child will continue to trust both of you equally.
Try to be as simple as possible in your explanation, avoiding the deep emotional bits to prevent them from getting confused and only focusing on what is happening, and the days they will spend with both of you.
Allow Expression of Emotions
To help them correctly understand their emotions, you can engage in a learning activity to name their feelings, ensuring that they learn to pinpoint the exact emotion they are dealing with adequately.
With the emotions understood, you can similarly help them identify their body's stress responses to different situations and how to use such information to cope with stress.
For a more holistic appreciation of their emotions and to get them to regularly talk about the divorce till they get it out of their system, you can consult a therapist and organize sessions for your child.
Include Other People
Having a support system can be great for your child in difficult times as the people can listen to your child and offer him assurance and love when you are not around.
You can recruit reliable family members, friends, neighbors, fellow worshippers, or even enroll your child in a sports club to enable them to have someone that will listen to them when you are absent.
Creating these external connections can similarly help your child feel secure, feel like a part of a positive relationship, and gain greater self-esteem, making them feel more positive in life.
Don't Fight in Front of Your Child
It will be a terrible sight for your kid if you fight your partner in front of them as it triggers feelings of sadness and anxiety; thus, you should avoid doing so if you want to help your child cope with a divorce.
You should also not try to block your partner's access to your kid since the child is for both of you, and the child will still long for their parent regardless of what has happened between both of you; therefore, allow an unfettered relationship between them.
Another way to help your child cope with a divorce is to erase the possibility of a situation where they have to choose between you and your partner; try not to make it seem like they aren't allowed to love your partner.
Ensure to think of what's fair to your child, and not only focus on what's acceptable to you as the actions fair to you may not be fair to them; hence, you would be hurting them without knowing.
Clarify That They Are Loved
Usually, kids blame themselves when their parents divorce because their developing minds believe every action in the marriage revolves around them; thus, it’s your duty to take such self-blame away from their minds by telling them they aren’t the fault and you love them.
It’s not enough to say loving words when you want to help your child cope with a divorce, you also have to show it, and you can do this by being an active listener whenever they want to talk to you; ensure you put your gadgets and other distractions away when they initiate a conversation with you.
You can equally show them you love them by creating having fun together through video games, board games, or physical games, allowing you to prove your love to them by creating time out of your schedule to play with them.
Similarly, you may make a special routine for both of you to engage in, such as a bedtime story routine, a special outing every Friday, or a TV show every evening, giving you something unique to share.
Conclusion
A child mourning the loss of their parents’ union can be a painful sight for any parent who wants to always see their child in high spirits and a good mood, hence crafting different tips to help put the child back in high spirits.
If you desire to help your child cope with a divorce, try to tell the child the truth about the situation, allow them to express their emotions, including other people in their recovery, desist from fighting your partner in front of them, and let them know you love them.
Resources
https://extension.okstate.edu/fact-sheets/helping-children-of-divorce-understand-their-feelings.html
https://insights.gostudent.org/en/top-5-benefits-of-friendship-kids-and-parents-need-to-know
https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/how-to-answer-kids-questions-about-divorce/
https://childmind.org/article/dont-let-your-kids-be-casualties-of-divorce/
https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/simple-ways-to-show-your-child-your-love/
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