How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

It is possible to overcome sexual performance anxiety, which is more common than you may think.

Signs and symptoms of sexual performance anxiety include lack of interest in sex, inability to get or maintain an erection, flaccidity, premature ejaculation, and vaginal dryness.

Unfortunately, many people who experience sexual performance anxiety or have a partner who suffers from it, simply give up or look elsewhere.

For this reason, in many cases, sexual performance anxiety is extremely destructive to relationships.

That's because many people do not seek treatment for how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

The good news is that there are ways how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

A healthy sexual life is important for mental, emotional, and overall psychological health.

With this in mind, let's look at a few ways how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Anxiety Therapists in Colorado

Molly Jameson, LCSW

Molly Jameson, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Jasleen Karir, SWC

Jasleen Karir, SWC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Joshua Goldberg, LPCC

Joshua Goldberg, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Dominique Schweinhardt, MA, LPCC, LPP

Dominique Schweinhardt, MA, LPCC, LPP

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Kimberly Nefflen, LPCC

Kimberly Nefflen, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Sarah Munk, LPC

Sarah Munk, LPC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Brooke Moraski, LPCC, NCC

Brooke Moraski, LPCC, NCC

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Deb Corbitt, LPC

Deb Corbitt, LPC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Rachel Hazelwonder, LPCC

Rachel Hazelwonder, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Jennifer Wilson, LPCC, NCC

Jennifer Wilson, LPCC, NCC

Colorado
(720) 437-9089
Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Alex Wiley, LPC

Alex Wiley, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Noah Suess, MA, LPCC

Noah Suess, MA, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 481-3518
Sarah Lawler, LPCC

Sarah Lawler, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021
​Randal Thomas, SWC

​Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Meditation

Meditation is one of the ways you can learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

For many people, meditation is a trusted way to improve your ability to focus.

Those who suffer from sexual performance anxiety often have trouble focusing during sex.

The inability to get or maintain an erection or even orgasm may stem from difficulty focusing.

As a means of how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, try meditating before sex.

Spend some time thinking about your partner, about their body, and/or fond memories of sex with them.

Remember, meditation before sex is most often a private activity.

Sexual arousal is personal and individual.

So, meditate on what makes you personally feel sexual.

Preparing your mind for sex through mediation can help you focus on your own needs, and those of your partner too.

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Acceptance

Accepting that sex is always 'perfect' is one of the ways you can learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

When you desire sex and feel aroused, it's natural and common to get excited.

Expecting sex comes with sexual expectations- that's just part of being human.

However, accepting yourself and your partner for who you are, the good and the bad, may help you discern how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Nobody's perfect. And past failures don't necessarily mean present or future failure- especially in the bedroom.

Some days you may not be in the mood for sex. It's natural.

Be honest with your partner about it, so they don't feel inadequate or slighted.

When you accept that sex isn't always perfect, it can give you the freedom to be more confident.

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Communication

Open and honest communication is another way you can learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Sex isn't always easy to talk about- especially when there have been problems in the bedroom.

Often partners don't know how to express their feelings about sex.

And if you're feeling disappointed by your or your partner's lack of performance, communication may even more difficult.

How do you talk about how to overcome sexual performance anxiety without making your partner feel inadequate?

Honest communication, especially about sex, requires vulnerability.

It means admitting shortcomings and being willing to listen without fear of judgment.

If you're having trouble honestly communicating about how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, seek the help of a licensed professional counselor.

A licensed professional counselor can often provide an objective, third-party opinion about issues in the bedroom.

Remember, the worst thing you can do when seeking out how to overcome sexual performance anxiety is be silent.

Don't sweep the signs and symptoms of sexual performance anxiety under the rug.

Humble yourself. Honest communication is often the first step toward how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Masturbation

Masturbation is another way you can learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Not surprisingly, anxiety is a key part of sexual performance anxiety.

Feeling anxious, worried, or fearful of failure often makes sexual performance anxiety worse.

Sometimes when it's been a while since you had sex, it can be challenging to go the distance.

Recall that premature ejaculation is a sign of sexual performance anxiety.

Masturbation can be an effective means of how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Sometimes a healthy physical release can relax the body and mind, preparing you for sex.

As long as it doesn't become a replacement for pleasing your partner, masturbation can contribute to a healthier sex life for you and your partner.

Recall that a sign of sexual performance anxiety is the inability to get and/or maintain an erection.

And yet, an erection is not always the only way to please your partner.

There are many other safe, healthy alternatives in the bedroom.

With your partner's consent, explore other ways to please each other.

For many, the willingness to try new things in the bedroom is often interpreted by their partner as a selfless gesture of good faith.

Pleasing your partner is more about being present in the moment and giving than it is about achieving some physical activity.

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Professional Therapy

We have examined many ways how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

And we've established that it's a serious condition that can have seriously damaging effects on your relationship.

When it comes to sex, changing bad habits and creating new ones can be challenging.

You've heard the phrase, "It takes two to tango".

Well, when it comes to ways how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, it takes two partners working together towards a common goal- sexual healing.

And yet, even when it comes to your partner and lover, it can be difficult to work through issues in the bedroom.

The professional advice of a licensed counselor can be invaluable when seeking ways how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Being able to have an objective moderator to guide you and your partner through conversations about sex may be the key to sexual healing and forgiveness.

Sex is never just about the physical act.

Sex involves your emotional, mental, and overall psychological health.

That's why seeking the help of a health professional, with experience in how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, could save your relationship. 

Conclusion

There are many things to learn about how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Sexual performance anxiety should never be ignored or dismissed.

The fallout from not discovering how to overcome sexual performance anxiety can be disastrous- infidelity, separation, and divorce.

Sex is of paramount importance in most relationships, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Many people just give up on their sex life, resigned to being unsatisfied or unable to satisfy their lover.

The truth is, there is hope.

Seek advice and guidance for your anxiety from a licensed professional counselor who can provide the objectivity, honesty, and empathy you and your partner need.

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September 29th, 2023

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