Where Do Anger Issues Come From?

Where Do Anger Issues Come From?

In order for healing from trauma to begin, it is important to ask the question- Where do anger issues come from?

Trauma from your past relationships affects your present relationships.

Especially trauma from past relationships that involved unchecked anger.

Anger caused by trauma has a long shelf life.

Asking the question- where do anger issues come from, can be a first, vital step toward healing from trauma and healthier life.

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Arias Gonzales, MS, LPCC, NCC

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, Colorado

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Where Do Anger Issues Come From? Anger Indicators

Being able to ask where do anger issues come from begins with identifying anger indicators.

Anger can stem from any mental, emotional, or physical suffering caused by abuse. An anger indicator is a feeling or behavior that results from trauma, neglect, or abuse.

What constitutes anger varies with the individual and the individual's personal experiences.

Anger issues can be the result of any number of circumstances. Anger issues can result from sexual abuse or manipulation to physical violence, to extreme neglect.

Anger issues can also be the result of harsh, insensitive treatment and/or longstanding emotional abuse.

All families have problems, and all family members will disagree or squabble from time to time. That's normal.

So, where do anger issues come from?

Anger issues often result from intense, habitual abuse. Those who suffer from such abuse have difficulty dealing calmly or rationally with challenges or strife.

Recognizing anger indicators in yourself or your loved one may help you be more honest about past abuse, and give you tools for seeking professional help in the future. 

Where Do Anger Issues Come From? False Impressions

Creating false favorable impressions or memories in an anger indicator

Many who suffer from anger issues struggle with painful memories.

Many with anger issues struggle with embarrassing memories of being mistreated, manipulated, and/or abused.

Instead of openly and honestly sharing these memories, many people create false, favorable impressions.

False, favorable impressions help someone with anger issues seem more 'normal' and 'acceptable', and therefore less vulnerable.

So, where do anger issues come from? And how do you recognize the signs?

For some, creating false, favorable memories may involve omitting parts of their past. For example, they may mention certain experiences, people, or circumstances.

For others, creating false, favorable memories may involve an outright lie. Anger issues often make someone feel trapped and desperate.

Honesty is the hallmark of any healthy relationship. False, favorable impressions are, well, false.

As long as you pretend to be someone you're not, in any relationship, you may never achieve happiness and healing.

Anger keeps you from being truly yourself.

Where Do Anger Issues Come From? Distrust

Where do anger issues come from? They often stem from distrust.

Many who suffer from anger issues feel that trusting their partner is difficult or unnatural.

Sadly, trust within any relationship should be the sacred glue that holds it together. What is love or friendship without trust?

And yet, for those who suffer from anger issues, trust is at the very heart of their pain.

For most with anger issues, it was someone they were supposed to trust who betrayed them, mistreated, and abused them.

When it comes to asking where anger issues come from, it isn't just about the physical pain of sexual or violent abuse. It's also about the emotional and psychological pain of betrayal.

Betrayal is the opposite of trust and the antithesis of love or friendship.

For this reason, those who suffer from anger issues have difficulty trusting others.

And when someone struggles to trust, they also struggle to love and feel loved.

Where Do Anger Issues Come From? Accepting Blame

Accepting blame, even when you're not to blame, is a learned behavior of someone suffering from anger issues.

If you or someone you know suffers from anger issues, then you know what it feels like to be blamed.

In fact, it is common for those abused to be blamed by their abuser. Anger issues are often the cause of accepting blame when you are not to blame.

In the past, abusers have habitually accused you to the point where now you create an unhealthy pattern of accepting blame.

In any relationship, when someone accepts undeserved blame, they can make their partner feel guilty.

It is difficult to love and support someone when they're constantly putting themselves down through blame.

Where do anger issues come from?

Anger issues come from accepting blame, which is an anger indicator that may drive a deep wedge into your relationships. 

Where Do Anger Issues Come From? Manipulation

Manipulation is another possible answer to the question- where do anger issues come from?

Manipulating others, especially your partner, is an anger indicator.

If you suffer from anger issues, then you know what it feels like to be manipulated.

Abusers, who are the cause of most anger issues, are master manipulators. Not only do they want to control you, but they want you to feel controlled.

Being manipulated makes a person feel controlled, powerless, and like a prisoner in their own life.

Because of these harmful life experiences, those who suffer from anger issues seek to feel empowered again.

And what better way to regain a sense of power than by manipulating someone else?

But let's not judge. This kind of manipulation is not the sinister behavior of the abuser.

This kind of manipulation is reactive to pain and suffering. We must always strive for empathy.

We must always remember to use empathy when asking the question- where do anger issues come from?

Remember, manipulation is an anger indicator. It's a reaction to traumatic abuse.

Those who suffer from anger issues often manipulate others, especially their partner or friends, as a cry for help.

Manipulation, as an anger indicator, is a person reaching out for help, reaching out for healing.

For this reason, it is vital in any relationship to ask- where do anger issues come from, and deal with them. Seek professional counseling.

Do not allow manipulation caused by anger issues to destroy your relationship. Discern it, name it and heal from it.

Conclusion

Identifying trauma and its anger indicators is key to answering the difficult question- where do anger issues come from?

It is the key to healing from trauma and mending relationships.

Do not judge your partner for these behaviors: false favorable impressions, distrust, acceptance of blame, and manipulation. Instead, love them through the healing process.

These anger indicators caused by trauma are not necessarily reasons to end a relationship. Instead, discern the behaviors caused by trauma and anger issues and seek treatment.

A professional counselor can help you and your partner or friend use these behaviors to make your relationship stronger and healthier.

Trauma causes destructive, learned habits- but they can be unlearned, especially with the help of a professional.

Learn more about each other. Be honest and accepting. Acknowledge past trauma.

There is hope and forgiveness, where there is faith.

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August 18th, 2022

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