Finding Your Safe Space

Finding Your Safe Space

Our journey towards mental well-being and health often draws us toward inner reflection. 

These reflections could be about healthy and unhealthy behaviors, people, and places in our lives. 

Especially if we have gone through rough experiences and trauma, we become more susceptible to feeling unsafe constantly.

Be it our mind or body, it feels like there's a constant race going on, and our thoughts are winning.

Helping our mind and body feel safe requires a safe space for ourselves, whether it is somewhere outside or within us.

Available Trauma Counselors in Colorado

Arias Gonzales, MS, LPCC

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love...

, Colorado

(719) 345-2424

Heather Comensky, LPC

Therapy is about you and your goals.

Aurora, Colorado

(720) 449-4121

"I SURVIVED
BECAUSE
THE FIRE
INSIDE ME
BURNED
BRIGHTER
THAN THE FIRE
AROUND ME."

How does a Safe Space help?

Whether internally or externally, a safe space helps you have a place you can reach out for when the going gets tough and fighting seems exhausting.

A safe space helps us process all of our emotions without feeling judged and become a higher version of ourselves.

It lets us come out of combat mode, put our shield down, and truly experience ourselves as a person with our ordinary sufferings.

It becomes a tool that shall guide you and center yourself amid adversity.

There are many ways to find this safe space for ourselves.

Therapy

Without a doubt, Therapy is always a safe space for us to process our emotions. 

It also gives us a clue on how to hold that space for ourselves. 

Therapy provides one with the tools to address our victories, failures, difficulties, and traumas. 

Having a person sit with us and experience us in the way we are, whether messy, put-together, or differentiated, at different times, lets us genuinely believe that we can also hold that space for ourselves.

When we come with our baggage and put ourselves out there, we learn that vulnerability is not all that bad. 

We also understand that if there is a person who can experience us safely, we too can experience ourselves safely and without judgment.

You shall lead the treatment as you work with your therapist. 

Therapy is not one-size-fits-all, and you can choose to find a therapist who works with an approach you find comfortable.

Engaging With People Who have Similar Experience

People who have gone through similar struggles make us realize that we are not alone. 

Moreover, you may have noticed that if someone comes up to you with a similar problem, you tend to have more compassion for them. 

However, if you were experiencing a similar situation, you may not be as kind to yourself. 

When we experience ourselves, we often do so with judgment. 

When we experience others, we often do so with a little more compassion.

Support Groups also give you an insight into how other people create a safe space for themselves. 

Unique challenges require unique solutions, and who better to provide you with one than someone who knows what you're going through?

Moreover, having a community gives a holding space for you until you have an inner safe space worked out for yourself. 

Sitting With Yourself a Few Minutes a Day

While others help us learn about creative solutions for finding a safe space, allow yourself to create an inner space within yourself.

Our lives are filled with the hustle and bustle, and with advanced technology, there are no stimuli that are not available to us. 

However, we forget to get in touch with our own being in all of that.

Begin small: in those few moments of waiting in a line, or in the subway, instead of engaging on your phone, decide to simply "be." 

Intentionally not doing anything at that moment helps us become more in tune with ourselves and our surroundings.

Although the above sounds close to a meditative practice, the idea is to allow yourself to experience yourself as someone who "just is" instead of always "doing" something.

Visualizations and Guided Imagery

Sometimes, we have safe spaces that are not readily accessible to us. 

People talk about how their safe space is a memory from the past, a place from their childhood, etc.

In such a scenario, visualization or guided imagery can help you access those spaces in your internal world, ground yourself, and experience the calmness you need to move forward.

A few simple steps that you can follow for doing visualization on yourself are:

  1. Imagine a place/person/ memory that made you feel extremely safe
  2. Notice what you see: For example, the color of the sky or ceiling if it's a place, the hair if it's a person.
  3. Notice if there are any scents: For example, the smell of the ocean if it's a beach.
  4. Notice any specific sounds: For Example, Are there any seagulls?
  5. Notice the texture or how it feels on your skin: For example, the sand on your feet.

If this is difficult for you to do alone, you can always seek resources online, for instance, a video on guided imagery on YouTube. 

However, it is advisable to go to a trusted and safe professional if you are not yet sure if you can hold that safe space for yourself. 

Obstacles 

The journey toward finding your inner safe space can be daunting. 

You may face uncertainty, pain, and past traumas coming up.

For people who have PTSD or Complex Trauma, some of these techniques may work with long-term therapeutic work or not work as well.

The method or way of finding your inner space is unique to you, and as long as you stay safe in your journey, all that matters is what you need. 

Conclusion

Safe spaces develop both internally and externally. 

It can happen in and through Therapy, with the help of support groups, and through a few self-reflecting exercises.

Finding a safe space is hard work. 

Sometimes it can be draining. 

Sometimes we grow out of those places, and sometimes we find new places. 

However, the idea behind finding this safe space is to evolve and nurture the self.

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May 16th, 2022

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