How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen to You

How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen to You

We all want our kids to listen to us.

But sometimes it feels like they're not even hearing us.

What can we do to get through to them?

Here are some ideas that will help you as a parent talk in a way that kids will listen to you. 

Establish Yourself as an Authority

When you're speaking to your kids, it's important to establish yourself as an authority figure.

This doesn't mean that you have to be a strict disciplinarian all the time.

But it does mean that you need to be clear and concise when you're giving directions or expectations.

If you're constantly yelling or nagging, your kids are going to tune you out.

Instead, try to be calm and firm when you're speaking to them. 

Use a Calm and Positive Tone

One of the most important things you can do when communicating with your children is to use a calm and positive tone.

This will help them to both listen to and hear what you are saying.

It may seem like a small thing, but the tone of your voice can make a big difference in how your message is received.

When you speak in a calm and positive tone, it shows that you are in control of the situation and that you believe in what you are saying.

This can help to encourage your children to do the same.

On the other hand, if you use a harsh or negative tone, it will only serve to frustrate and discourage them.

So next time you need to communicate with your kids, remember to keep your tone calm and positive.

It could make all the difference in whether or not they listen and hear what you have to say. 

Avoid Yelling or Arguing 

When you're trying to get your kids to listen, it can be tempting to resort to yelling or arguing.

However, research has shown that this is often counterproductive.

For one thing, kids are more likely to tune out when they feel like they're being shouted at.

Moreover, arguing can create an adversarial atmosphere that makes it harder to find common ground.

Instead of raising your voice, try speaking in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.

This will help to defuse the situation and make it more likely that your kids will listen to what you have to say.

Additionally, try to avoid getting into a power struggle by making sure that your requests are reasonable and age-appropriate.

If you can find a way to stay calm and avoid conflict, you'll be more likely to get your kids to hear what you're saying. 

Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand 

When you're communicating with your children, it's important to stay focused on the issue at hand.

This means that you should avoid bringing up other issues that might distract from the main point of the conversation.

Additionally, you should avoid raising your voice or using aggressive language.

Instead, try to keep your tone calm and collected.

This will help your children to remain calm and focused, and it will also encourage them to listen to what you have to say.

Finally, remember to be clear and concise when communicating with your children.

This will help them to understand what you're saying and it will also allow them to respond in a way that is respectful and appropriate. 

Be Clear and Concise 

This means choosing your words carefully and making sure that your body language supports your message.

It can be tempting to resort to ultimatums or yell when you are trying to get your point across, but this will only serve to escalate the situation.

Instead, take a deep breath and focus on speaking calmly and honestly.

If you can maintain a positive attitude, there is a good chance that your children will mirror your behavior.

By sharing your thoughts and feelings in a respectful way, you can encourage open communication and create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. This is an important thing to keep in mind when learning how to talk so your kids will listen to you. 

Follow Through with Consequences if Necessary 

It's important to be clear and consistent when communicating with your kids.

Sometimes, this means following through with consequences if they don't listen or obey.

This can be difficult, but it's important to do if you want your kids to take you seriously.

If you say you're going to do something, make sure you do it.

Otherwise, your kids will learn that they can ignore you and get away with it.

This doesn't mean that you need to be strict all the time. 

Just be clear about what you expect from your kids and follow through if they don't meet your expectations.

Reward Good Behavior

As any parent knows, getting kids to listen can be a challenge.

However, there are some tried and true methods that can help.

One of the most effective is to reward good behavior.

When kids know that they will be rewarded for cooperating, they are more likely to do so.

Of course, the rewards don't have to be big or expensive.

A simple sticker or a special treat can go a long way in getting kids to listen and cooperate. And, as an added bonus, this method can also help to build positive reinforcement for good behavior.

So, next time you're struggling to get your kids to cooperate, remember that a little reward can go a long way. This is a good thing to consider when learning how to talk so your kids will listen to you. 


The information presented in this article should be used for informational purposes only. This blog post should not be used as a substitute for advice from a licensed medical professional.


Talking to kids can be challenging for parents, but it's important to do if you want them to listen.

Remember to stay focused on the issue at hand, be clear and concise, and follow through with consequences if necessary.

These are important things to consider if you want to learn how to talk so your kids will listen to you.

And, don't forget to reward good behavior. A little incentive can go a long way in getting kids to cooperate.

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April 18th, 2024

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