How to Avoid Raising a Spoiled Child

How to Avoid Raising a Spoiled Child

There's no question that children need structure and limits in order to grow into well-adjusted adults, but it's also important to allow them some independence and freedom.

Striking the right balance can be difficult, especially if you're not sure where to start.

It can be difficult, but with focus and effort, there are some ways to give you a better chance to achieve this goal.

In this post, we'll provide some tips for avoiding the trap of raising a spoiled child.

Parenting Therapists in Colorado

Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Deb Corbitt, LPC

Deb Corbitt, LPC

(719) 345-2424
Kelsey Motley, LPCC

Kelsey Motley, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

(720) 449-4121
Abigail Corless, LPCC

Abigail Corless, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Mackenzie Batson, LPCC

Mackenzie Batson, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Cassondra Chagnon, LPCC

Cassondra Chagnon, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 481-3518
Winnie Siwa, LPCC

Winnie Siwa, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Holly Bradbury, LPC

Holly Bradbury, LPC

(719) 345-2424

Establish Rules and Expectations for Your Child and Stick to Them

It's so important to establish rules and expectations for your child and then stick to them. Some common rules are:

  • Be polite and respectful to others
  • Do not hit, bite or hurt anyone
  • Listen when someone is talking to you
  • Share your toys with others
  • No yelling indoors
  • Always use please and thank you

Of course, this can be easier said than done. But it's crucial to remain consistent, even when your child is testing your limits.

If you give in every time they throw a tantrum, they'll learn that they can always get their way by being disruptive.

On the other hand, if you stick to your guns and enforce the rules, they'll eventually learn that their behavior has consequences.

And that's an important lesson that will serve them well throughout their lives. 

Explain the Reasoning Behind your Rules so your Child Understands Them

It can be tough to know how to avoid raising a spoiled child. You want your child to be happy and have all the best things in life, but you also don't want them to become entitled and ungrateful.

A big part of avoiding this is making sure your child understands the reasoning behind your rules.

If they know why you're asking them to do something, they're more likely to cooperate and less likely to throw a tantrum.

For example, if you're trying to get them to eat their vegetables, tell them about all the important nutrients they contain.

Or if you don't want them to hit their sibling, explain how it would make them feel.

When you take the time to explain things to your child, you foster cooperation and understanding rather than resentment and disobedience.

Set a Good Example for Your Child by Following the Same Rules you Expect Them to Obey

It's important to remember that children are always watching and learning from what we do.

As parents, it's our responsibility to set a good example for our children by following the same rules we expect them to obey.

If we want our children to be honest, compassionate, and hardworking, then we need to model those qualities ourselves.

It's not always easy to live up to our own standards, but it's important to show our children that we're trying.

Setting a good example can help our children avoid becoming spoiled and entitled.

Ultimately, we want our children to grow into happy, well-adjusted adults - and setting a good example is one of the best ways to help them get there.

Discipline your Child in a Way that is Consistent and Fair

Remember that when learning how to avoid raising a spoiled child is to discipline them in a way that is consistent and fair.

When children are constantly getting away with bad behavior, they begin to think that they can do whatever they want without consequences.

On the other hand, if you are too strict with your discipline, your child may become resentful and rebellious.

The key is to find a balance that works for you and your family.

One way to ensure that your discipline is consistent is to establish clear rules and expectations from the beginning.

Let your child know what behaviors are acceptable and what will not be tolerated. Be sure to follow through with consequences when they break the rules.

This will help them understand that you mean business and that there are consequences for their actions.

It is also important to be fair when disciplining your child.

If one child consistently breaks the rules while another follows them perfectly, it's only natural that the first child will feel unfairly singled out.

Try to apply the same standards to all of your children and be sure to explain why certain behaviors are unacceptable.

With a little thought and effort, you can avoid raising spoiled children and help them develop into well-rounded, happy adults.

Spend Time with your Child, Even When They're Acting Up, so They Know you Still Love Them

It's hard to see our children acting out and not have it reflect on ourselves as parents.

We might feel like we've failed or we're not doing something right. But even when our children are acting out, we must spend time with them.

They need to know that we still love them, even when they're misbehaving.

One way to do this is to set aside some time each day, even if it's just a few minutes, to really focus on your child.

Talk to them, listen to them, and just be with them.

This will help them feel loved and appreciated, and it will let them know that they can come to you with anything, no matter how big or small.

Teach your Child How to Handle Disappointment and Frustration Constructively

Disappointment and frustration are a normal part of life, but it's important to teach your child how to handle these emotions constructively.

One way to do this is to model healthy coping mechanisms yourself.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths or go for a walk. 

Explain to your child that it's okay to feel sad or angry, but it's important to find positive ways to deal with those feelings.

You can also help your child identify their triggers and come up with strategies for dealing with them.

For instance, if your child gets frustrated when they can't figure out a puzzle, you might suggest taking a break or asking for help.

Teach your child how to deal with disappointment and frustration healthily, you can help them avoid becoming spoiled.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you're struggling to discipline your child or you're concerned about their behavior, it's important to seek professional help.

A therapist can help you and your child identify the root of the problem and come up with a plan to address it.

Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. 


The content in this blog post is not meant to be a substitute for official medical advice from a licensed professional.

The content on this blog should be used for informational purposes only.


There's no one-size-fits-all solution to avoiding raising a spoiled child, but there are some things you can do to help.

Establish clear rules and expectations from the beginning, be consistent with your discipline, and be fair when doling out consequences.

Spend time with your child every day, even when they're acting up, to show them that you still love them.

And finally, seek professional help if needed. 

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June 18th, 2024

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