Trauma From a Narcissistic Partner

Broken flower

Narcissistic abuse has long-lasting impacts on victims, and it can be difficult to move forward after experiencing this trauma. 

This article will explore the nature of narcissistic abuse, its repercussions in life post-relationship; provide solutions for healing as well as tips to continue living a healthy, meaningful existence beyond narcissitic relationships.

We also discuss how professional help such asking guidance from counselors or joining support groups may assist with recovery from these damaging encounters. 

With our advice and direction you'll gain the knowledge needed to break free from toxic cycles - enabling yourself reclaim your self worth so that you can live again without fear!

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

Abuse in a Narcissistic Relationship

As you may be aware, a narcissistic person is someone who truly only admires and values themselves. Specialists believe that this personality disorder affects about one in twenty people.

We recognize how difficult it is to be in a relationship with someone suffering from this personality disorder, but the first step in moving forward is to recognize who you are in a relationship with. Once you have a strong talk with yourself, set your boundaries and time frames for change, the only thing to do is sit back and observe your partner.

Be on the lookout for a few key behavioral traits.

Some of the characteristics of a narcissist are an inflated ego, lack of empathy, repressed insecurities, a desire for attention, and exhibiting few boundaries.

While all people can exhibit these traits from time to time, you will notice that narcissistic person will show their true colors in this way at every opportunity.

You would never want to go to someone and directly tell them "You're a narcissist."

It's best to sit back and observe while addressing the situation with empathy and compassion. However, the most important thing is your own mental health.

You should never be in a relationship with someone else in order to help them at the loss of your own personal mental health.

You may even be suffering from trauma without realizing it. Try to take a step back and look at your own life and mental well-being to determine if you have trauma from your relationship with this person.

Some of the Signs That You Are in an Abusive Relationship

Unfortunately, too many individuals are victims of domestic violence and end up feeling trapped without anywhere to turn for help. 

To ensure that this does not happen to you, let's explore some of the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

1. You have an intense fear of this person and high anxiety levels when interacting with the. You might feel that something bad is right around the corner at all times.

2. You have very low self-esteem and self-worth.

3. You find it difficult to trust other people.

4. You have recurring flashbacks to traumatic moments or days. Some people even experience nightmares of their worst days.

5. Difficulty regulating your emotional state. You can go from extreme highs to extreme lows, it may even feel like the person you are with constantly pulls an emotional rug out of under you.

6. If you feel your words are invalidated or you experience gaslighting on a regular basis.

If you experience any or all of these regularly, it's best to reach out to a professional to get a better handle of the situation you are in and to confirm your thoughts. 

The Trauma From a Narcissistic Relationship

The trauma resulting from this type of relationship is one that will likely have lingering effects. You may be experiencing self-doubt, indecision, difficulties with intimacy, fear of new relationships, codependency, and even separation anxiety which will cause you to not want to leave your abuser.

The trauma will all be similar to the effects that you experience while in the relationship.

Those emotions and feelings that someone who had power over you lead you to believe will likely stay with you.

Trauma from this type of relationship can seem like it will have permanent and devastating mental effects, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

With continued work and effort you will begin to heal the trauma from this relationship with a narcissistic partner.

How to Heal the Trauma

The first step to healing the trauma from a narcissistic partner is to recognize the signs you are in a relationship with someone suffering from this personality disorder.

If you can't recognize the situation you need healing from, you won't be able to take any of the next steps.


While it may be difficult, it is a necessity to finish the relationship with your abuser. You will feel lost, and codependent, and have a strong desire to go back and care for this person, but you must stay strong and do what is best for your future.

Once you are out of the relationship it's a good idea to seek professional help. There are many amazing therapists, free counseling services, and groups that you can talk to in order to move past your trauma.

Remember that by reaching out to someone for help, you are not showing weakness, but instead strength. It takes a strong person to admit they need help and go about creating a more positive future for their life.

Now it's time to start building healthy boundaries so you don't find yourself in that position again. Make a list of what you can tolerate and what you will never again tolerate in a relationship, now stick to the list.

Develop a self-care routine.

You must learn to take care of yourself and be your number one support system. This will ensure you never fall back into the webs of a narcissistic person's lies.

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Moving Forward

It will certainly take time but as the days go, you will begin to feel good again. As your comfort level grows, it's a great time to start building trust in others.

Create new and healthy relationships with people that value you and your presence.

Focus on personal growth and take daily strides toward the person that you want to become.

Work on forgiveness and letting go of the past.

If you can focus on these things, you will soon move past the trauma from a narcissistic partner. 


Narcissistic abuse can leave lasting impacts on a person and their mental health. It's important to remember the effects can and will be healed with continual work and a devotional to get better.

While it may be a lot of work and can seem like a never-ending project, one day when you look back you will be grateful that you took the necessary steps on this road to recovery.

If you are able to understand and recognize the traits of the narcissistic partner, be honest with yourself and come to terms with the trauma that you have experienced, you have taken the first few steps.

Afterward, create a plan for your future. Help from a professional is always a great thing to lean on.

With continued time, effort, a good support system, and a strong plan for action you will heal the trauma and move into a brighter future.

Always remember you are not alone when suffering the trauma from a narcissistic partner, there are people and groups to join with similar experiences, loved ones wanting to see you flourish, and professionals willing to help you.

Stay strong and focused on this journey and your future self will be grateful to you.


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June 18th, 2024

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