Friends - they're the pillars of our everyday life, providing us with companionship, comfort and much-needed encouragement.

But what if one such friend exhibits narcissistic tendencies? Or similar other toxic personality traits?

What if you are unknowingly entangled in the web of a narcissistic personality disorder? 

At first, being friends with a narcissistic person might seem like a dream come true. After all, not all narcissists appear harmful initially.

They put significant effort into forming friendships and might even claim you as their "best friend". 

Yet, beneath this seemingly warm exterior often lurk ulterior motives.

A friendship that once felt fulfilling can gradually transform into an abusive and controlling relationship, leaving you riddled with self-doubt and low self-esteem. This is the harsh reality of having narcissistic friends.

So, what are the signs of a narcissistic friend and what can you do when you need to escape a narcissistic situation?

Signs of a Narcissist Friend: Fan or Friend?

A narcissist wants you to be one of their adoring fans, not a true friend.

Using your friendship to boost their ego is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Narcissists deliberately surround themselves with fans- people who reinforce their inflated views or fantasies about themselves.

Remember, narcissists, suffer from low self-esteem.

A narcissist friend may seem confident, charismatic, and cool, but they secretly and desperately desire the approval of others.

Narcissists often aggrandize themselves, talking about past and especially future accomplishments.

A narcissist friend often has an outgoing personality- giving off the appearance of being "larger than life".

For this reason, people gravitate towards friendships with narcissists.

A narcissist friend will often make you feel like it's an honor or privilege to be their friend, or be in their inner circle.

Making you feel special simply because you are around them, like membership in an exclusive club, is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Narcissists do not want friends, they want fans.

A narcissist friend is not interested in the qualities of a true friend: accountability, honesty, and trust.

Allowing you to be in their presence, to make them appear and feel more popular, is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Signs of a Narcissist Friend: False Generosity

Being generous means giving to others without expecting anything in return.

False generosity, when you give to others only because you expect something in return, is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

For a narcissist friend, generosity is a way to keep you close and assure your loyalty.

Narcissists are often very generous, especially to those they deem as "friends".

A narcissist friend will always want to appear more generous than you.

They will give more and more extravagantly than you, in order to make you feel indebted to them.

All narcissists desire to control, and controlling you through gift-giving is one of the signs of a narcissist friend.

A narcissist friend will often give gifts, instead of spending quality time with you.

It's easier for a narcissist friend to simply give a gift than spend quality time getting to know you better.

And the more you accept a narcissist friend's generosity, the more they will pressure you to behave the way they want you to.

False generosity is a means of controlling you, keeping your behavior in line with what a narcissist friend desires. 

Signs of a Narcissist Friend: Manipulation

Manipulation is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Often a narcissist friend wants your friendship for them alone.

In their mind, they may have a multitude of friends, but want you to only have them.

A narcissist friend will call you their "best friend" to your face while telling other friends the same thing.

Remember, a narcissist is not interested in a genuine relationship or friendship.

Instead, possessing you like a collected object is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

A narcissist friend will also attempt to turn you against other friends.

They want your undivided attention and loyalty- the narcissist friend wants you all to themselves.

Narcissists are master manipulators, and will often tell lies or spread rumors in order to turn you against other friends.

It's not uncommon for a narcissist friend to try to ruin your other relationships, even with partners, siblings, and friends.

The narcissist friend sees your other friendships as a source of disloyalty.

Desiring your attention and affection all for themselves, even to the point of destroying your other relationships, is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend. 

Signs of a Narcissist Friend: Superficial Interest in You

Narcissists are only interested in themselves and only interested in friends for selfish reasons.

Showing only a superficial interest in your personal life is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

A narcissist friend is always willing to talk about themselves, especially when it includes how wonderful and desirable they are.

Remember, a narcissist is constantly fabricating a fantasy life or persona about themselves.

For them, you are a character in the movie about their life.

As their friend, you have a scripted role to play, and often that role includes listening to them.

But when it comes to listening to your deeper thoughts, feelings, or struggles, a narcissist friend will pull away.

Pretending to listen and care about you is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Does a narcissist friend really care? No.

A narcissist friend will listen, but only on a superficial level, and only long enough to fake the friendship and keep you loyal.

Humoring you by pretending to listen on a superficial level, is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

Signs of a Narcissist Friend: Crime & Punishment

One of the wonderful qualities of a true friend is that they forgive your mistakes, and can be honestly sorry when they wrong you.

One of the signs of a narcissist friend is that when you break character in the movie of their life, they are often unforgiving.

For the narcissist friend, you serve a single purpose- to feed their ego.

If you say something that challenges their fantasy or does something to make them feel ignored, a narcissist friend will punish you.

Making you feel guilty for making a mistake is one of the signs of a narcissistic friend.

The narcissist friend often holds forgiveness hostage, refusing to forgive you until you once again validate their low self-esteem.

For example, a narcissist friend may withhold generous gifts, disinvite you to parties, or neglect to return phone calls in an attempt to make you feel insignificant.

Only when you have been punished enough, and express how desperately sorry you are for wronging them, will a narcissist friend forgive.

And yet, false forgiveness and grudge holding are signs of a narcissist friend.

You may think you've been truly forgiven and welcomed back into the exclusive inner circle, but you will never have the genuine trust or forgiveness of a narcissistic friend.

Conclusion

Narcissists treat their personal life as a stage, expecting unreasonable expectations from their friends, family members, and even romantic relationships.

Resources 

https://www.amazon.com/How-Disarm-Narcissist-Yourself-Narcissim/dp/1977036503/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3BPOZYNDFUH8U&keywords=dealing+with+a+narcissist+friend&qid=1662149448&sprefix=narcissist+friend+%2Caps%2C108&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Unavoidable-Narcissist-Your-Life/dp/B09CRTXJ1J/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3BPOZYNDFUH8U&keywords=dealing+with+a+narcissist+friend&qid=1662149469&sprefix=narcissist+friend+%2Caps%2C108&sr=8-4

https://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-Your-Life-Recognizing-Patterns/dp/0738285773/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3BPOZYNDFUH8U&keywords=dealing+with+a+narcissist+friend&qid=1662149469&sprefix=narcissist+friend+%2Caps%2C108&sr=8-5