A narcissistic coworker can completely undermine a workplace, and make it a toxic environment...
A narcissistic coworker can completely undermine a workplace, and make it a toxic environment. A wise man once said- It only takes one drop of poison to spoil the entire glass of water. A narcissist coworker can be that single drop of poison in an otherwise pleasant workplace. How do you spot a narcissist coworker? How does a narcissist coworker think, and why do they behave the way they do? In this article, we will discuss how to deal with a narcissistic coworker.
When you first meet a narcissist coworker, they will often rush to get to know you, and get close to you. A narcissist coworker may be the first person in a new workplace to befriend you. The narcissist coworker will make every effort to tell you their life story, and their position within the workplace. Narcissist coworkers, as with all narcissists, are master manipulators. A narcissist coworker wants to earn your allegiance first before anybody else has an opportunity to gain your loyalty. Their motive is to get you on their side when things in the workplace get ugly. And if a narcissist is involved, things will get ugly. You will notice that a narcissist coworker is rarely interested in your life story. They want a superficial relationship. A narcissist coworker tells you their life story, which is often a sob story because they want your sympathy if things don't go their way. All friendships with a narcissist coworker are fake friendships. As we will see, the narcissist coworker is ultimately interested in stirring the pot, destroying the team spirit, and taking control of the workplace. And when these strategies come to fruition, the narcissist coworker wants your friendly allegiance.
The narcissist coworker immediately identifies those in the workplace as either enemies or allies. To the narcissist coworker, there is no neutral party. There is only an ally or enemy. A narcissist coworker will rarely tell you a lie or directly share a rumor. That's because the narcissist coworker prefers to manipulate from behind the scenes. The narcissist coworker thinks of themselves as a puppet-master, superior to everyone else. Because of this, the narcissist coworker chooses to stay behind the scenes. A narcissist coworker often spreads rumors about how people have tried to hurt or mistreat them. The narcissist coworker likes to play the persecuted martyr while assuming the role of a mastermind. Be careful. If you choose to not believe the rumors that your narcissist coworker spreads, then they will turn against you.
All narcissists are petty manipulators, suffering from low self-esteem. They want to move up in the workplace but don't want to earn it. Instead, a narcissist coworker will stoop to any lengths to sabotage another coworker's job. A narcissist coworker will often accuse other coworkers of doing a poor job, cheating at an assigned task, stealing their ideas and even stealing from the workplace. A narcissist coworker is not afraid to get their hands dirty- they don't just whisper. For example, a narcissistic coworker will often steal an item and blame it on a fellow coworker. Or they might corrupt a work file or company project and then blame others. The narcissist coworker will often appear as the most trusted or honest person in the workplace. A narcissist coworker likes to extoll their own virtues, while secretly plotting sabotage.
The ultimate goal of the narcissist coworker is to gain control of the workplace. It begins with subtle, behind-the-scenes manipulations. However, the narcissist coworker wants to be the boss, manager, or team leader. For this reason, the narcissist coworker often plots mutiny against the existing leadership. For example, a narcissistic coworker may tell the manager that you or other employees are plotting to have the manager fired. If the manager believes them, people could lose their jobs. Remember, it's the goal of the narcissist coworker to appear honest, virtuous, and trustworthy. The narcissist coworker rarely tries to lead the mutiny against management. Instead, the narcissist coworker manipulates others into mutiny, hoping to step into the position once vacated. For the narcissist coworker, the end goal is always control over the workplace, and they will remove anyone they need to in order to achieve it.
Workplace mutinies don't always work. If a narcissist coworker does not succeed in mutiny, they will often attempt revenge against those involved. Never expect a narcissist coworker to give up easily, or go quietly into that good night. Even if the narcissist coworker is exposed in the workplace, don't expect them to resign quietly. When exposed to others, or when they fail at gaining control, the narcissist coworker will seek vengeance. Even if nobody wants them around anymore, the narcissist coworker will remain. They will stay in the workplace as long as possible, in order to poison the pond even further. A narcissist coworker will falsely accuse fellow employees, even to the point of involving their personal lives. For example, an exposed and unwanted narcissist coworker may call the Better Business Bureau or file a lawsuit in order to shut down the entire company. Another example would be a narcissist coworker calling Child Protective Services on a fellow employee, simply out of revenge.
Be wary of narcissistic coworkers, they may seem the friendliest and most honest people in the office. The narcissist coworker is dangerous. If crossed or exposed, the narcissist coworker can jeopardize both your professional and personal life. The narcissist coworker is often very intelligent, cunning, and amoral. Be cautious of the narcissist coworker, they will stop at nothing to either win your allegiance or strike out in vengeance. If you or someone you know has been the victim of a narcissist coworker, seek the counsel of a licensed professional.
https://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Narcissist-Narcissistic-Relationships-Psychological/dp/B0861QTXTD/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3PZGV84CDD0JL&keywords=narcissist+coworker&qid=1657664432&s=audible&sprefix=narcissist+coworker%2Caudible%2C84&sr=1-1
https://www.amazon.com/Covert-Manipulation-Edward-Brandon-audio/dp/B07Z6RGJ85/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3PZGV84CDD0JL&keywords=narcissist+coworker&qid=1657664458&s=audible&sprefix=narcissist+coworker%2Caudible%2C84&sr=1-2
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
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