How to Cope With a Narcissist in a Relationship

How to Cope With a Narcissist in a Relationship

How do you identify a narcissist in a relationship, and how can you cope with such people?

Narcissists are experts at winning over people with their superficial charm, witty comments, and even generosity.

They like to be the center of attention and it is not uncommon for them to exaggerate their accomplishments or talents.

 Narcissists are generally charming, intelligent, and highly adaptable to different social situations.

However, they often display an unwarranted sense of entitlement and may be unwilling to bend or compromise.

This can make being in a long-term relationship with a narcissist very difficult.

People with narcissism don't respond well when they feel that someone is trying to change them.

And so, any attempts you make to change your partner will be met with tons of resistance.

This can be very frustrating for you as you try to improve the relationship better.

However, their things that can help you cope if you want to be in a relationship.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021
Denise Itule, LPCC

Denise Itule, LPCC

(719) 345-2424

Popular Traits of Narcissists in Relationships 

A narcissist is a person who views themselves as the center of the universe and cannot empathize with others, thinking they are above everyone else.

It can be hard to identify narcissists in relationships because they are often charming and charismatic people who manipulate those around them into believing their point of view.

Many people don't realize they're in a relationship with a narcissist until after it's ended, and they can look back on the whole dynamic. 

If you're struggling to identify whether your partner is a narcissist or not, here are some things you can look out for:


Firstly, a narcissist carries about an air of arrogance that can easily be mistaken for self-confidence. 

This trait makes it difficult for them to admit when they're wrong let alone apologize.

They don't feel any guilt or remorse when they hurt others or use them for personal gain.

In fact, sometimes, they even celebrate such behaviors with their peers.

If you're in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may discover that you've been the only one apologizing whenever an issue comes up. 

A narcissist thinks he is always right, and as such, there is no need to apologize to another person.

Exaggerated Self-importance

Secondly, when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may find it difficult to express yourself to pass a message across because such a person will rarely give you the space to talk.

They tend to talk more about themselves which displays their high level of self-importance.

For example, if you're on a date with a narcissist, you can only get a chance to ask a few basic questions.

A narcissist will always want to dominate the discussion with talks about himself/herself and leave only little room for you to speak.

Lack of Empathy

A narcissist lacks empathy for others and as such, if you're in a relationship with such a person and something bad happens to you, do not expect too much empathy.

They may make feeble attempts at empathizing with you because that looks like the right thing to do. 

However, if you're a sensitive person, you may feel how distant they are towards you while showing that act of empathy.

Lack Of Serious Sense Of Responsibility Towards Their Partner

They have a sense of entitlement to receive treatment as a special person, which often leads to expecting special favors from others without any real effort on the narcissist's part.

As a partner to a narcissist, you may often feel alone as though you're carrying on the entire relationship by yourself. 

Text messages and calls may not come in often because they expect you to call them more often than they do.

They desire that you show them gratitude for being in a relationship with you. 

So, narcissists expect you to continuously woo them. Such people hardly give out gifts, but they often expect gifts from their partners.

Types of Narcissist

According to research, there are two main types of narcissists which include; vulnerable and grandiose narcissists.

Vulnerable narcissists are not bold or overly cocky at first. However, they're intelligent and prey on the emotions of their partners. 

They have a very subtle and effective way of pulling a lot of attention to themselves.

This gives them satisfaction that is equivalent to self-importance. 

One notable thing about vulnerable narcissists is that their 'weakness' is only a façade to feed their egos.

Grandiose narcissists portray more glaring attributes of a narcissist. 

They like to be in charge of relationships and they can be easily aggressive and dominant.

Grandiose narcissists display a domineering behavior that makes them think they're superior to other people. 

Most times, they do not maintain a stable relationship since a slight shift can make them choose another partner who'll practically worship them.

How To Deal with Narcissistic Partners 

When in a relationship with a narcissistic person, the thing to do is leave. 

However, if you want to redeem a few qualities in such a person, then here are some tips for dealing with them.

First of all, you need to have the self-confidence to deal with such people. 

This is because it is easy to be emotionally broken by such people in such a manner that you may lose your self-confidence.

If you choose to stay with a narcissistic partner, it is best to grow some backbone and call them out when they're wrong. 

Constantly bowing to their obnoxious needs and demands will only fuel their pompous nature and make things worse for you.

Clinical help and therapy sessions aren't out of the question here. 

Experts can help to fix the situation. 

It may be difficult to convince such people that they need help, but it is not wholly impossible.

When dealing with a narcissist in a relationship, set boundaries that show what you cannot condone.

It may not be easy because narcissists do not like taking orders.

However, it is essential to let them know what you like and don't like so they don't overstep.

When they throw tantrums or pick unnecessary fights with you, it is best to stay calm because this will help you to manage the situation better. 

It is best to remember that these people play mind games and if you choose to be in a relationship with them, then outsmarting them is the key to dealing with them.

Lastly, make sure you're knowledgeable about the behavior of a narcissist so that you can know how to handle them better. 

Do your research and read more about their temperament which will be very helpful when dealing with them.


Narcissism is both an emotional and clinical condition that can get better through therapies with the consent and compliance of the person affected. 

While some people deliberately choose to be narcissistic, others were groomed in a certain way during their childhood to be the way they are.

Choosing to be in a relationship with a narcissistic person is hardly a good idea since you can be easily affected negatively, but it is possible if you feel up to it!


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May 18th, 2024

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