Five Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent

Little girl sad

A narcissistic parent acts in accordance with their self-image as the head of the family or someone whose actions take precedence over being a family member.

Every person with parents in their lives, at some point in their life, sees their parents as their entire universe until they are old enough to leave home.

This is perfectly normal and expected.

Parents are necessary to your existence and sense of self.

However, a narcissistic parent can seriously harm your self-esteem, which requires love and acceptance from both parents to thrive.

Children of narcissistic parents frequently develop codependence and insecurity as children.

They battle feelings of guilt and low self-worth.

There are signs that indicate you were raised by narcissists; one of these is a constant feeling that you are not good enough.

One of the ways narcissistic people exert control on their victims is by making them think they can't do anything well without their help.

This is one of their ways to maintain their sense of superiority.

For narcissistic parents, everything is always about them.

Everything has to please them, so if you find that you tend to always assume the role of a caretaker, especially without considering your own needs, you were most likely raised by a narcissistic parent.

Also, narcissistic people will always try to manipulate their victims to suit their own needs.

They like to constantly invalidate other people's experiences and emotions, leaving the individual questioning their own judgment, memory, and sanity.

With the right support for narcissism abuse, you can still get your life back and heal from the damage they have caused in your life.

Read on for more details on signs you were raised by a narcissistic parent.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

You Feel Like You're Never Good Enough

One of the defining traits of a narcissistic parent is their insatiable need for validation and admiration.

As a result, their children are frequently forced to work very hard to meet unreasonable expectations.

As a result, regardless of their accomplishments, they continuously feel as if they fall short.

The effect of never feeling good enough can have a significant impact on your self-esteem, creating a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism.

Furthermore, people raised by narcissists frequently aren't used to getting unconditional affection from their parents, which causes them to also doubt their own self-worth.

You may feel trapped in the same role you had as a child and that you don't live up to the expectations imposed on you.

Furthermore, because you probably never questioned your narcissistic parent, you may be hesitant to express your thoughts.

You Have Relationship Problems

Growing up with a narcissistic parent can have a major impact on how you create and sustain relationships as an adult.

The ongoing need for approval, affirmation, and admiration can make establishing healthy limits challenging for some.

It may result in patterns of seeking out partners that resemble your parents' behavior, thereby maintaining a cycle of toxic relationships.

There may be issues with boundaries, in which you struggle to identify where you end and the other person begins.

On the other hand, if you have narcissistic tendencies (like your parents), you may seek out partners with more docile personalities and end up controlling them.

In order to overcome this challenge, you must recognize and redefine what healthy relationships mean to you.

You Struggle With Your Own Emotions

Growing up with a narcissist can be a traumatizing experience.

In order for you to cope, you may self-regulate your emotions, which only makes dealing with your own feelings tough.

One of the most typical symptoms that show you were raised by a narcissistic parent is a tendency to dismiss your own feelings and emotions.

Children of narcissists frequently have their feelings ignored or dismissed, so it's natural for them to conclude that their own needs are trivial and insignificant over time.

This belief can manifest in several ways.

In other circumstances, you may just feel that other people's needs and pleasures are essentially more important than your own (and hence overlook your own).

In other circumstances, you may have difficulty putting your feelings into words or simply recognizing how you feel because you were rarely given the opportunity to express yourself as a child.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

You Regularly Doubt Yourself and Your Reality

One thing common to narcissistic parents is frequently undermining their child's grasp of reality by failing to give credibility to their child's emotions.

This is another indication that you were raised by narcissists.

Narcissists tend to be very good at gaslighting, which is the abusive technique of twisting and distorting reality in ways that cause a person to question and doubt reality.

They may have informed you that certain events did not take place.

For instance, imagine you were unhappy because your brother stole your favorite book.

A narcissistic parent may say that your sibling would never do such a thing and that you had to have misplaced it yourself.

These kinds of encounters, over time, can diminish your sense of self and leave you questioning yourself and your perceptions.

Other forms of narcissistic gaslighting include: telling you that you are making things up or imagining things or recalling previous instances in which they claim you lied, imagined, or made something up.

You Always Assume The Caretaker Role

More often than not, someone who grew up with a narcissistic parent may end up with a narcissist because they are used to trying to please someone with unrealistic expectations.

This is because they are familiar with the role of taking care of another person's needs.

Your understanding of love was initially based on transactions with your parents.

Maybe you have learned that you could earn your parents' love by meeting certain expectations or achieving specific goals.

As a result, you have come to view love as something that is conditional and may seek out relationships that also have strict requirements.

Narcissists rely heavily on the approval, acknowledgment, and adoration of others, which leads them to expect their children to help them uphold an impeccable image.

Conclusion

In a society that champions individual growth and emotional well-being, recognizing the impact of being raised by a narcissistic parent is a crucial step toward personal liberation.

Remember, you can seek support for narcissism and heal from these past experiences.

Some signs that you were raised by a narcissistic parent include feeling like you're never good enough, having relationship problems, struggling with your own emotions, regularly doubting yourself and your reality, and always assuming the caretaker role. 

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June 18th, 2024

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