5 Tips for Dating As a Narcissist

Many people shy away from dating people confirmed to be narcissists or people who show signs of being narcissists...

Many people shy away from dating people confirmed to be narcissists or people who show signs of being narcissists. On the other hand, narcissistic people may also find it hard to date people or commit to long-term relationships. This is because they have complex personality traits and behaviors. Notwithstanding, as a narcissistic person, you can have a healthy dating or married relationship. Self-awareness and being open to working on yourself can be helpful when dating as a narcissist. Patience with yourself and your partner or potential partner also helps you form a healthy relationship. Showing empathy to your partner would also help you to create a strong bond and date them effectively. Dating as a narcissist also means you're not only obsessed about your needs but also focusing on your partner's needs. Seeking professional help and receiving strong support for narcissism would also make you a better partner and great at your relationship. Here are 5 tips for dating as a narcissist.

Self-Awareness

Narcissistic people have peculiar traits which are not considered socially acceptable. This usually affects their relationship with people. They can be charming or helpful in one breadth and toxic or abusive in the same breadth. This could make them undesirable to potential partners. Dating as a narcissist means you must be self-aware of your personality traits, especially the negative ones. You must also be open to working on yourself. Be open to your partner about negative behaviors and unhealthy patterns. You can encourage them to call you out on your faults because they can pop up even when you don't realize it. You can both decide to work on them together and track your improvements. However, do not put pressure on them for your self-improvement. Also, never make them feel bad for calling you out when the unhealthy patterns pop out.

Where these negative traits are from parents or result from parental neglect, past experiences, or partners, differentiate them from your present self and who you're trying to be and break yourself from these patterns. Confront yourself with the hard truths and challenge yourself to be better. In doing this, you're not only becoming better while dating as a narcissist, but you're also showing yourself compassion.

A couple out on a date.

Patience

The first stages of a new relationship can be exciting. When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. And since you're in the honeymoon phase, your partner may match your attention and admiration. Subsequently, when you stop getting the same level of attention you got in the early stages of the relationship, or you don't get as much attention as you want, you may become frustrated and lash out at your partner. You may try to buy their attention by showering them with compliments or gifts or attempting to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection to match your passion. Unfortunately, this emotionally charged relationship is often too intense and unstable, leading to a cycle of ups and downs that can be difficult to escape. You have to be extremely patient when entering into a new relationship and during the period of the relationship. Try not to be obsessed at the early stages but maintain the tempo of love and affection. You need to be patient with your partner too. You'd most likely experience ups and downs, which may cause irritability.

Show Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand people's needs and share other people's feelings. And it is vital in every relationship. Many people complain of a lack of empathy, emotional connection, and intimacy in narcissistic partners. This can make their partners feel isolated and uncared for. Most times, narcissistic people are obsessed with themselves and find it challenging to share their partner's feelings. Therefore, one crucial tip for dating as a narcissist is always to show empathy to your partner. Your partner's feelings are as important as yours. And your inability to share their feelings or understand what they are going through can affect them severely. Be careful of what you say or do or don't do to them. Empathy helps you to form attachments with your partner and have a long-lasting relationship. You must also note that showing empathy comes from showing compassion to yourself first and developing healthy self-esteem. Treating yourself with kindness also helps you develop your capacity for empathy.

Focus On Your Partner's Needs

Narcissistic people have an inflated sense of self-importance. This makes them focus on themselves and prioritize their needs more than their partners. Your obsessive need for admiration and affection can also make you self-centered, which can make you focus on your needs being met while ignoring your partner's needs. While dating as a narcissist, you need to know that focusing on your partner's needs is important. Ask them about their needs and how you can meet them, or be ready to recognize the cues that show their emotional or physical needs. You must also understand that your partner may have different ways of meeting their needs, some of which may not involve you. You must be patient and let them do what suits them best.

Get Help

Despite the personality disorder of being a narcissist, you can experience genuine feelings of love with your partner. Being self-aware makes you willing to change from negative behaviors and unhealthy patterns, which involves getting professional help. Professional help involves therapy or support groups. Therapy such as schema therapy, psychotherapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy helps you with techniques to veer away from manipulative tendencies and unhealthy patterns. You are responsible for getting professional help. With professional help, you can unlearn and break off bad habits and learn and develop healthy habits such as accepting healthy love. Support groups with other people narcissistic people are also beneficial. It also prevents you from blaming yourself, which hinders you from dating or accepting love in an emotional and fulfilling way. You can also receive support from the people around you. Professional help and a strong support system help create healthy and long-lasting relationships. With the right help, you can learn to form healthy connections, receive emotional support, and be a better partner.

Conclusion

Narcissistic people deserve all the love, affection, and security of dating. Self-awareness, patience, showing empathy, focusing on your partner's needs, and getting professional help and support for narcissism are helpful tips for dating as a narcissist.

Resources

https://thenarcissisticlife.com/can-a-narcissist-fall-in-love-will-a-narcissist-ever-find-true-love/

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/can-a-narcissist-love-learning-how-to-care-about-someone-else-more-than-yourself/

https://www.health.com/relationships/future-faking

https://www.psychalive.org/narcissistic-relationships/#:~:text=Professor%20Brad%20Bushman%20of%20the,to%20be%20committed%20long%2Dterm

https://www.verywellmind.com/can-a-narcissist-love-7112051#:~:text=Narcissists%20can%20and%20do%20love,the%20object%20of%20their%20affection

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

What should I do if a female narcissist is part of my social circle or family?

If you have a female narcissist in your social circles or family, it's crucial to protect your mental health. Recognize the common traits of narcissism, such as an inflated sense of self, self-centeredness, and lack of empathy. In many cases, women with narcissistic traits exert control through manipulation tactics. Seek professional help if you find it difficult to manage the situation. Therapists can provide strategies to deal with narcissistic behavior effectively.

What is the most dangerous type of narcissist?

The most dangerous type of narcissist is the Malignant Narcissist. They are often very charming and successful, but they also have a complete lack of remorse or empathy. They will do whatever it takes to get what they want, and they can be very dangerous.

How does a narcissist's sense of self-importance influence their behavior?

A narcissist's sense of self-importance often results in narcissistic behavior like ignoring others. If they feel someone isn't meeting their own needs or serving their interests, they might start ignoring that person.

How does poor impulse control relate to narcissism and cheating?

Poor impulse control is a common trait among narcissists. This can manifest as a tendency to act on whims or desires without considering the potential consequences. In the context of a relationship, this may lead to infidelity if the narcissist is attracted to someone else.

What are some key narcissistic traits that might lead to cheating?

Narcissistic traits that may lead to cheating include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for constant admiration, and poor impulse control. These individuals may feel entitled to pursue other relationships without considering the feelings of their current partner.

What are the different types of narcissists?

There are many different kinds of narcissists, but the six main types are The Narcissistic Victim, The Covert Narcissist, The Malignant Narcissist, The Exhibitionist Narcissist, The Somatic or Cerebral Narcissist, and The Toxic Parent.