How to Safely Deal With Anger

How to Safely Deal With Anger
Are you wondering how to deal with anger? 

This involves anger management. It cuts down both your emotions and physiological arousal caused by anger. 

One may learn to control how they react to anger. 

Chances are if you're here, you realize your anger is a problem you would like to overcome. 

You may also be interested in how to deal with other people's anger. 

Keep reading to learn more about how to deal with anger!

Anger Management Therapists in Colorado

Vanessa Dewitt, LCSW

Vanessa Dewitt, LCSW

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Dominique Schweinhardt, MA, LPCC, LPP

Dominique Schweinhardt, MA, LPCC, LPP

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Randal Thomas, SWC

Randal Thomas, SWC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

(719) 452-4374
Sarah Munk, LPC

Sarah Munk, LPC

(719) 345-2424
Carrie Nelson, MS, LPCC

Carrie Nelson, MS, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Melody Reynalds, LPC

Melody Reynalds, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Stefanie Kerr, LPCC

Stefanie Kerr, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

What is anger?

Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense rage and fury. 

When one is angry, their blood pressure and heart rate rise. 

Noradrenaline, adrenaline, and energy hormones all rise as well. 

One may have to deal with anger in regards to their personal problems. 

Memories may also arise, especially of traumatic events, to trigger anger. 

You may currently be dealing with things out of your control, like a canceled flight or a traffic jam. 

Work is a commonplace where people get angry, as they must deal with anger that comes up when interacting with supervisors and coworkers. 

You might also be angry because of situations in which you feel threatened or are attacked, you've been treated unfairly, or like other people won't respect your possessions or feelings.

When one is angry, their instinct is to aggressively respond. 

When attacked, anger allows us to defend ourselves. 

In fact, anger is necessary for survival. 

Unfortunately, common sense, social norms, and laws won't let us deal with anger in the way we'd sometimes like. 

Thus, it is most appropriate to find healthy ways to deal with anger.

How to Calm Down

We'd like to make it clear that you will not be able to cut out your anger 100%, as that's impossible. 

However, with these techniques, you can make your anger manageable. 

One thing you can try to deal with anger is yoga. 

There are plenty of beginner tutorials online to assist. 

The key is that you move your body. 

You may want to try some simple stretches first. 

The great thing about yoga and stretching is that they require no equipment, except for a yoga mat if you so choose. 

Other forms of physical activity you could try include golf, riding a bike, or simply walking. 

Then there is progressive muscle relaxation, in which you tense and then slowly relax your body's various muscle groups. 

You do one muscle group at a time. 

Another way to deal with anger is imagery, in which you can use either your imagination or memory to visualize an experience to relax. 

Then, there is deep breathing. 

It is important to breathe from the diaphragm because chest breathing won't be relaxing.

Think about how there might also be communication issues with someone you may be angry with. 

One example of this is in an argument. 

You may not feel like it at the moment, but for more effective discussion, and to constructively deal with anger, you need to slow down and carefully think about what to say. 

Listen to what the other person says as well, then again, take your time to form and put out your response.

Use Humor & Change Your Environment

When you think to call someone a name, draw a picture of what that name would actually look like, eg "dirtbag." 

Then, give yourself a good laugh. 

This will bring down your anger and de-escalate the tense situation. 

This will stop you from taking yourself incredibly seriously, particularly when you are worked up. 

It is really a fun way to deal with anger! 

Other fun ways include looking at memes, perhaps playing with your kids, or setting up a time to play with a friend or relatives. 

It would be something to look forward to!

Aside from the common situations indicated above, another situation is when someone comes home from work. 

When someone gets home from work, they are stressed out by the day's demands. 

If you are one of these people, make it clear that you need to be left alone for a few minutes upon your arrival. 

This in turn will stop many arguments, if they happen for this reason. 

Everyone needs to give themselves breaks and chances to unwind instead of dealing with situation after situation. 

Use this time to have a snack, watch some YouTube, or simply sit in a room by yourself and meditate. 

In terms of traffic to and from work, take a different route to work, or take public transportation like a commuter train or bus.

Seeking Professional Help

To better handle your anger, you may try counseling. 

This is a great idea if your anger regularly impacts your relationships and is tough to control. 

The mental health professional will work with you to develop techniques to change your thinking and behavior. 

To prepare for this appointment, write out situations where you feel your anger has been out of control. 

This can be the start of an anger diary. 

It will help you release negative emotions but cut down on your physical pain. 

Your diary, however much you will want to share it, will better help the mental health professional help you with your anger.

The Anger of Others

No one wants to get hurt, whether emotionally or physically.

That's why it's important to know how to calm down others as well.

Avoid using statements revolving around understanding how they feel, or how frustrated they must be.

Instead, re-frame what the other person has said (although we advise against overdoing this), and use empathy.

Offer to help how you can, particularly if they are angry about something you did or said.

If you feel unsafe, leave the room.


Hopefully, you are coming away with this article with some useful tips on dealing with anger. 

You may know that you have a serious problem with it, and that's why you came here. 

Through healthy anger management, you can improve your life significantly.


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July 14th, 2024

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