The investigative thoughts that pop up after your partner leaves can become overwhelming for you...
The investigative thoughts that pop up after your partner leaves can become overwhelming for you.
You'll begin to ponder on their last words and actions before they left to try to discover the exact reasons why your partner left.
This internal conflict can make you depressed as you see more possible reasons for their leaving.
To deal with depression, you can categorize their reason under the common reasons why partners leave.
Although this will not automatically take your pain away, it will reduce the time you spend thinking about why they left and allow you to think of how to move on.
A common reason for leaving is when there are no more shared interests in marriage.
Usually, at the start of a marriage, a couple would share many common interests in a subconscious bid to be appealing to the other.
However, as they spend more time together, they may begin to be true to themselves and grow apart in their interests.
Another reason may also be that your partner felt unappreciated in the marriage.
For example, if they were putting in efforts to make things good and improve the emotional bond while you put in zero effort, they would have felt you didn't appreciate their efforts enough to make yours.
You can learn more about the common reasons why your partner left and how you can carry on in this overview:
Your partner may have left because you no longer had shared interests that allowed you to bond or have fun regularly.
As dismissive as sharing common interests may be, it's one of the common reasons for a partner to exit a marriage.
One of the likely reasons why your partner left may have been the constant fighting over different value systems or interests.
If you both had transitioned into possessing different political ideals and argued over the right political system every time, they could have left because they couldn't continue to endure the fights.
Similarly, sharing common interests allows you to create relationship rituals in shared activities, developing intimacy and creating avenues for special talks.
If your partner didn't have anything special to do with you, that might have been a cause for them leaving.
To move on from this, you have to accept that humans all have different interests, and it's best to move with people that resonate with your ideals.
As difficult as you may feel, try not to blame your partner for leaving. Instead, understand that they left to find happiness with people that share their interests.
Failing to nurture the bond between you and your partner may be one of the reasons why your partner left.
Nurturing the bond between you and your partner involves appreciating and acknowledging them for what they are doing to make the relationship great.
Generally, people love to feel good and appreciated by great responses to their efforts.
They could have gotten tired of you never making them feel good after doing things to make you happy.
Similarly, getting appreciated helps them see the positive in the relationship instead of looking out for the negatives.
If you had appreciated them, they would stick to the good emotions rather than search for your bad actions, which may have caused them to leave.
Also, if you failed to appreciate their efforts, they likely felt like you took them for granted despite their enormous affection.
To move on from their absence, you have to come to terms with your inaction, forgive yourself for it, and stop thinking about how it could have turned out if you had appreciated them.
Getting out of love is one of the likely reasons why your partner left the marriage.
Being in love involves a solid emotional connection with another person that constitutes fondness, affection, and trust for each other.
If your partner could not feel these things with you anymore, it's a likely reason why they left.
Also, when a person is in love, the relationship helps them move on a path to self-discovery as they discover their intuitive thought processes, degree of forgiveness, and innate desire to do something for a loved one.
Thus, if your partner wasn't experiencing this, it could be why they left.
Similarly, a loving relationship serves as a fantastic source of motivation to plan and achieve goals.
Being in love offers you a reason to create things and achieve more extraordinary exploits in life.
Hence, if your partner needed motivation but couldn't get it because they were no longer in love, it may have been why they left.
Discovering that your partner left because they were not in love with you anymore can be very painful because you will continue to wonder why they fell out of love.
However, understand that people fall out of love a lot, and it's better that they left so you wouldn't be in a marriage with someone who no longer loved you.
Having an affair with another person can be one of the reasons why your partner left, and it can be painful.
Usually, the pain stems from the fact that they likely met the person while in the relationship with you and developed feelings strong enough to desire separation from you.
They could have gone to be with someone else because they can satisfy their sexual desires with the person.
Since the satisfaction of sexual desires is an essential part of marriage, it could have their reason for leaving if they couldn't get the pleasure in the marriage.
Moreover, they could have also left because they desired variety in partners.
Maybe they wanted to explore another communication style or different non-sexual activities, and they couldn't do it while in a relationship with you.
Whatever the reason for leaving for another person, it will hurt you deeply because it will seem like you couldn't give them enough happiness.
However, it's essential you move on from such thoughts so you can live a healthy mental life, and you can move on by thinking about their reasons logically to help you understand that they sought what you couldn't provide.
A lack of physical connection and sexual intimacy may be one of the reasons why your partner left.
Sexual connection builds intimacy in marriage as the physical activity involves you getting your personal space and performing intimate actions with each other.
If your partner wasn't getting this sexual intimacy, it might be why they left.
Sexual intimacy also serves as a stress relief that helps to release all pent-up stress from work and home duties.
If your partner only had stress to build up in the relationship and didn't have sex as an outlet for the stress, it can be the reason why they left.
Furthermore, sex helps to create a deeper communication level.
Before and after having sex, there is usually the need for some intimate communication.
This communication then transcends into how good you communicate in the marriage.
Your partner may have left if this wasn't available in the marriage.
If you verify the facts and discover this is why they left, you don't have to beat yourself about it.
Just think of the good times you had and focus on healing from the pain of them leaving so you can move on.
Worrying over the tiny details of reasons why your partner left may inhibit your ability to move.
Instead, you should categorize their exit under common causes such as the lack of shared common interests, feeling unappreciated, no longer in love, meeting someone else, and the lack of a physical connection.
When you categorize the reason, you will be able to learn the best way to move on and live a life of emotional growth and understanding.
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/common-interests-in-a-relationship/
http://luciahoxha.com/2018/06/7-reasons-why-love-is-important-for-human-beings/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/top-five-reasons-a-partner-leaves-and-how-to-cope-0724134
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
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